Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

Cindy

I was surveying a newly installed fence and gate – my own – and I suddenly thought of Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project. Unfortunately for us, I don’t own her book, so I can’t mine it for an appropriate quote, but one of the keys to happiness that she extols is getting things done and off your to-do list. Make a mammogram appointment, write a thank you letter, update your resume, get your fence fixed. Taking something off your to-do list automatically makes you feel happier. I know it did me.

The sad saga of the fence goes like this: In September 2009, as a birthday surprise for my husband, I had a pretty brick fence built while he was on a week-long business trip. We already had a custom-made iron gate that matched the other ironwork on the house. Wouldn’t Dan be pleased and delighted to come home and find a beautiful little fence with the gate neatly hung? Well, he would have been, if the gate had fit. Even though it was on-site while the fence was being built, the opening was not made large enough. The gate did not fit. I dealt with the brick masons over and over. A contractor who frequently hired them intervened on my behalf. A year passed…nothing. In the meantime, we threw some junky stuff – plywood, trash cans, etc. – in front the opening to keep the dogs in. Attractive, no? No. And certainly not what I had in mind. I stewed, I fussed, I forgot about it for months at a time, but always the need to do something about it niggled at the back of my mind.

So today, two years and five months later, the fence has been rebuilt and the gate installed.

You may notice that there is still plywood behind the gate. That’s because the latching mechanism was not installed. The gate swings both ways and certainly won’t keep the dogs inside. But I can assure you that it will take less than two weeks, not more than two years, to get this job complete.

Good for me but what does this have to do with decluttering? Mental clutter! What is on your mind that’s holding you back? What chores and to-dos on the long-term list are hanging around, month after month, year after year, sapping your energy and keeping you from feeling as fully successful as you should feel?

I know that I feel so charge up from the check! on my to-do list that I’m going to tackle the gutters that keep overflowing every time it rains next. Imagine how good I’ll feel then!

What long-term burdens are you dragging around that you can declutter, and what’s your plan of action?

Today’s Declutter Item

These two ball gowns are an example of metal clutter to me. Not only are they physical clutter but I have procrastinated over getting rid of them for some time. The purple dress was made for my by my mother used once and never worn again. The other was a bargain but the glitter fabric was so rough on my underarms and was never worn. One languished because of the sentiment attached the other because of the wasted cash and it would have done in an emergency. I am just glad they are both gone now. They sold very quickly at the thrift shop.

A long awaited declutter task

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Read this comment from Sue D as it was the catalyst for today’s post.

I find it interesting that linen is Sue D’s nemesis when it comes to decluttering yet I am not surprised. The thing with items such as linen is that eventually you are going to need some of them and that makes them hard to part with. Although I have decluttered my linen storage spaces on more than one occasion over the last two years, and am satisfied with its current state, there are still more things in there than are really necessary.

I have…

• 5 sets of queen bed sheets for two queen beds in the house. Three sets should be enough considering one bed is the guest bed that doesn’t even have sheets on most of the time. One set is still in the package I bought them in. I won’t be decluttering any of these for now.
• 6 sets of bath towels (12 total) with matching hand towels for only two adults and the occasional guests. I stocked up when living in America because they were so much cheaper to buy there. But really towels last a very long time and 4 sets would be more than enough.
• 4 beach towels. I have to admit these are rarely ever all required at once. Even though we have beautiful beaches here in Newcastle I am not a sun worshiper and usually only go to the beach for the view not for swimming or playing in the sand. Liam uses the these towels occasionally though.
• There are a couple of ratty old towels as well for spills or messy jobs I wouldn’t like to use my good towels for.
• 1 spare queen duvet cover. Not necessary as both queen beds have a cover and the spare is a dark aubergine colour which makes our now smaller bedroom feel even smaller and dark. And managing without a cover isn’t a problem should one not make it off the clothes line  in time.
• 2 sets of double bed sheet for my son’s bed. This is fine. But I just realised there are also two extra double bed fitted sheets so they can go.
• Another 8 towels in the downstairs bathroom. These were purchased when I  had a teenage girl at home so 8 really wasn’t too many then. They don’t take up much space so I will declutter these as they become shabby and or send some of them off with my son if/when he leaves home. There are also 4 hand towels and 6 face washers.
• 1 table cloth which has only rarely ever been used and on reflection is a bit silly keeping it because it is a huge oblong and we now have a small round table. Perhaps I could cut it down to fit. I don’t even like table clothes really so why bother. We don’t stand on ceremony when it comes to dining, in our house it is all very casual and that’s the way I like it. So I think the thrift shop will be receiving a nice maroon table cloth this week.
• There are a few spare pillow slips but some of them can go as the spares from the extra sheet sets will suffice should we suddenly end up with lots of guests. And even that is unlikely.
• In the camphor wood chest there is a spare queen and a spare single duvet (doona) also in case we get extra guests. Those guest would have to be young people who don’t care where they sleep because we only have the three beds.

You will be able to see from the photos below that although the list above seems long and more than adequate the items themselves don’t take up all that much space. Granted one set of queen bed sheets are on the spare bed while my daughter is staying and she is using two towels out of the cupboard under the bathroom basin. But even if those items are put back the space taken up is still minimal. So I  think that most of the stuff will be staying except the items I pointed out which are now out of the closet and photographed as my declutter item for the day.

Up Stairs Linen Closet

The Down Stairs Linen Supplies

To some it up, when it comes to linen one needs to carry spares but there is not need to have excess beyond the spares. Does it make sense to declutter perfectly good items that will one day become necessary due to natural progression? That depends on whether you are prepared to house them and for how long. Some up your space situation, your tastes and preferences and the actual necessity for items that are rarely used and make your decisions based on that information.

Even as I end this post I am thinking do I care if I end up at the beach one day with a bath towel and the answer is no. So I suppose two of those beach towels could probably go after all.

Today’s Declutter Item

The linen that didn't make the cut. 1 Duvet cover, 1 large table cloth, 2 double bed fitted sheets and 2 pillow slips.

Something I Am Grateful For Today

I had fun with the kids. B and I hired a bike each while Liam used his and we rode down the Fernleigh Track to Whitebridge and back again.

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Mini Mission Monday is about finding ten minutes a day to declutter. To make it easy for you, each Monday I set seven declutter missions, one for each day of the week for you to follow. It takes the guess work out of decluttering and makes it easy and “fun” for you to achieve some quick decluttering.

This week we are going to do some digital decluttering. Some purely digital some in a more tangible form. You will understand what I mean as you read the daily missions.

Monday – Today declutter any DVDs that you no long enjoy to watch or really don’t watch enough to warrant keeping. Perhaps also ones your children have grown out of. This would be an example of tangible digital clutter.

Tuesday – Today declutter something purely digital, your email inbox, sent box and your email trash folder.

Wednesday – Declutter CDs that you no longer listen to and perhaps are even embarrassed you ever owned.

Thursday – Take a look at your photo folders and delete poor quality pics or multiples of the same thing. One of them must be the best and there is not need to keep the rest.

Friday – Declutter old computer games that your children have grown to old for.

Saturday – Have a look through the folders on your computer that hold text documents. I bet there are many that are no longer relevant.

Sunday – Do a clean up of your cell phone. Old numbers that are not longer relevant, silly photos and notes can all be decluttered.

Good luck and happy decluttering

Today’s Declutter Item

Here is something digital that I decluttered last week. Bought it about six years ago, used it once or twice at most and never for the reason I acquired it in the first place. It sold for $16.00 on ebay. Hopefully the new owner will put it to better use.

Digital Voice Recorder

Something I Am Grateful For Today

I am grateful for the book I am reading at present. It really gets me thinking. Too much so at times and I find myself having to re-read the pages because my mind has gone off on its own little tangent on a point previously read. The book is called selfish society and I dare say it will inspire some of my posts over the next week or two.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Schoolwork Clutter

I received an email from Monica this week in regards to my opinion on what to save of kids school papers.  Here is her query…

Your post about your daughter returning home prompted me to ask the question about the “treasures” collected from children at school.   Recently my two high school children “went through” all the special awards, certificates and artwork I had collected for them from their primary school years all neatly filed in plastic sleeves in lever arch files.   They didn’t throw anything out and I am reluctant to as well but they do take up lots of space in our house and, are rarely looked at.   One of my children has thrown out most of their school work books and the other one has kept all of them.  I know some readers will say scan everything and keep it filed on computer.   Any other ideas of keeping those special primary school papers without it being a storage hassle? 

I have sent Monica my thoughts on the subject but decided to canvas my readers to see what ideas you all had about this. Please feel free to respond with your thoughts and experiences.

On Fridays at 365 Less Things I share with you my favourite comments from my wonderful readers and my favourite web finds of the week. I hope you will enjoy them as much as I did.

Favourite Comments. Enjoy!

Sanna is so right in this comment. The less little stuff you have the smaller and or fewer the furniture needs to be to fit it in.

Sanna is sending us some great comments this week. I like her strategy for not indulging on an whim in this comment she left on Saturday.

Elspeth runs us through her thought process as she was decluttering clothes last week in this comment. Decluttering is more than just getting rid of stuff it is about adopting smarter thought processes when it comes to stuff.

Read this comment from Chelle and then could you all reassure her that she is more than good enough.

Melissa has got it right in this comment.

Favourite Web Finds. Happy reading!

This link is about simplifying life in general but there is some mention of deleting unused stuff ~ www.marcandangel.com – 60-ways-to-make-life-simple-again

This short post from A Guy Named Dave talks about the importance of stuff. And he is right stuff is important it only becomes a problem when we can’t get enough of it.

Rowdy Kittens ~ Our downsizing story

Mnmlist ~ Finding yourself in spareness

Today’s Declutter Item

My daughter is still cooperating with decluttering her stuff. Everyday this week she has gone through at least one box of stuff. Some boxes are big some are shoe box size but every box counts.

Yet more of my daughter decluttered items

Something I Am Grateful For Today

My son because he makes me laugh. He found my computer sitting on this spot and added himself to this space. I had to edit what he wrote of course because he is very naughty.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

I received a comment form Moni on Tuesday lamenting about the downside to selling unwanted clutter. Here it is ~

Thanks for the encouragement Colleen – am at the point where heaps of stuff has been dumped, and heaps of stuff has gone to recycling/charity bins. I’m now at the point where I’m listing on auction sites stuff that is too valuable to throw out. Now I know that organised clutter is still clutter, but I’m suprised how down it has made me feel having stuff out all over the place again. Am packing it into laundry baskets or plastic bins after its been photographed and listed, but it is suprising how tempted I am to skip onto the next project and leave it all there. It is almost like instant gratification to see things going out quickly. Did anyone else feel like that at this point of things?

Now, I know I have bored you all before with my whining about selling my unwanted stuff on ebay but it is always worth revisiting. And yes, like Moni all that stuff hanging around while I wait in hope that someone will bid on it still drives me crazy to.  Once it has been chosen as clutter I just want it out of here but…

I am only generous to a point. I have given a lot of my stuff away to the thrift store and am happy to do so. More than happy really because it is a very quick and easy way to rid myself of still useful items someone else could enjoy. Plus the proceeds go to charity. But there are things that I am just not prepared to give away.

I like to make a little cash for my kids. I quite often list things on ebay that belong to them, were they mine I would just give them away. They are young adults and not so financially established as their parents or even truly financially independent for that matter. So if I can make them a little money on the side I will. It encourages them to declutter their unused stuff and is better than just giving them a handout. Although it would be a better lesson to have them do it for themselves.

I like to recoup my loses on some things that weren’t well utilised, cost a lot initially or were really stupid purchases that were simply a waste of money.

Aside from the hassle of photographing, listing and waiting there is also the disappointment when the item doesn’t sell. Then the decision as to whether to relist or get the thing the hell out of here so it can stop tormenting me. I really have to ask myself is it really all worth the hassle. I suppose the answer must be yes because I keep doing it. I have enough successes to make it worth the effort. But even as I write that I am not convinced.

So what I have done recently is simplify the process. Previously I used to wait to list my items so that the seven day auction would finish after dinner on a Sunday. This is supposed to be one of those optimal times to end an auction. The problem was I might end up busy on Sunday or simply just forget and then I would be waiting for another week. Not to mention that by Sunday I might have ten auctions to list at once which tends to take forever to do. Heaven forbid I should pay the 20c to set my own starting time.

Now I either pay the 20c or list items whenever I get around to it. I have found personally that the ending time seems to have absolutely no effect on the success of my auctions.

With the thirty listing fee free auctions we now have each month on ebay Australia I am more inclined to throw up things and see what happens. The ending fee is higher but you only pay it if the items sell. This takes away the gambling aspect for me. That is, risking the listing fee in the hope the item sells. This used to really put me off trying causing a lot of procrastination.

Moni has the right idea of putting the items aside neatly so they aren’t littering up the house. I often go one step further and find a box to mail them in once I have decided to list them. I usually have a selection on boxes in a plastic tub in the garage or else I can pick one up for free at the big hardware store nearby. See my earlier post on ebay packaging here & here. This helps me to be able to calculate the shipping accurately before listing.

Half way through writing this post I did some more decluttering with my daughter. There were a couple of things among the items she decided to declutter that were worth putting up on ebay so I took care of that immediately.

I suppose this really will always just be a love hate relationship for me. I love to recoup the cash but I hate the task, but more than anything else I hate the items hanging around for what seems like forever. I really just wish that I would be willing to let it all go for nothing. It would be so much quicker and easier. But I figure if I haven’t given up on that idea yet I am never going to. To make any relationship work there must be compromises and patience. I suppose when it all boils down to it I am more willing to compromise than to let go easily.

So Moni I have no solution for you really because you and I are in the same boat. I bet the other readers will have some helpful advice for you though. All I can say is you either give it away or suck it up when it comes to putting up with the stuff until it goes.

My Baby Girl

Today’s Declutter Item

Another day another declutter session with my daughter. She did well again and we managed to eliminate a whole box of stuff condensing two boxes down to one. The Build-A-Bear clothes in the photo are listed on ebay and also a collectors edition of Rolling Stone magazine. Fingers crossed she makes a few dollars.

More of B's Clutter

Something I Am Grateful For Today

Hubby will be home after spending three days out of town on business. I’ve been outnumbered by children for days and my bank account is suffering. I need back-up. 😆

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Cindy

Do you own anything that’s “too good to use”? I bet you do. I started this post by asking my mother. The first thing she said was, “Yes, and do you know what a mistake that was?” What I think is really interesting about this story is that it took my Mom less than a second to think of an answer and that the item in question was given to her as a wedding gift 49 years ago. You’ll be surprised what it was. Here’s what she said:

“Yes, and you know what a mistake that was? When we were first married, we were given a twin blanket that was ‘too good to use.’ We were sharing a twin bed then and could have used it from day one, but we didn’t. Then we got a queen bed, and since the blanket was a twin, it didn’t fit and was still ‘too good to use.’ I think about 10 years ago, it was the junk blanket that Ken (my father) used in the back of the truck.”

Wow! From “too good to use” to junky blanket in the back of a truck. What a waste of a perfectly “too good” blanket.

One of us grandkids gave my grandmother a sort of wine goblet with a half dozen rose-shaped soaps in it. The whole thing was wrapped in plastic. Those rose-shaped soaps never got used, and when my Grandmother died, the soaps were still sitting there, wrapped in now-dusty plastic. Why? I know she wanted to enjoy looking at them, but it would have made more sense to enjoy looking at them for a year and then enjoy using them for another year. Why were rose-shaped soaps ‘too good to use’?

Perhaps you have a beautiful necklace that you think is ‘too good to use’ except on very special occasions. If you really love it, and if it’s not so special that the guards from the insurance company are following you around when it’s on your neck, then why not wear it to work or church? Are you really going to enjoy it more if you only wear it once a year versus once a month? Or even everyday? I have a beautiful and expensive necklace, and it’s rare that I don’t wear it. It amazes me that after five years of almost daily wearing, I still get regular compliments on it.

When you have something that you treasure and you don’t use it, you’re not honoring that item, nor are you honoring yourself. It’s not too good to be used; that’s why it was made, and you certainly deserve to use something “too good.” What do you own that’s creating clutter by being “too good to use”?

Today’s Declutter Item

Still on a roll when it comes to decluttering with my daughter. Today we have some 3rd birthday cards who we can’t identify the giver of (gone to recycling), an old jazz ballet costume (thrift shop), 2 baseball sun visors (surprised she was willing to part with the Yankees one),  these will go to a baseball fan helper at the thrift shop, her baby music toy which has perished and broken from old age and one crazy looking rag doll she made some time ago (both binned).

More of my Daughter's Stuff

Something I Am Grateful For Today

 Having a nice dinner with a friend and to make it even better my daughter cooked for us. A great little girls night in. Hubby is out of town and Liam was out with friends.

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

My daughter is home for a ten day visit and according to plan I have her decluttering the stuff she left behind when she went off to university four years ago.  She is being very cooperative and I am grateful for that. Knowing me as she does she was fully expecting to have to comply with some decluttering tasks before she even arrived.

I haven’t bombarded her with stuff, just every now and again I will pull out some things and hold up for her to adjudicate on. A quick “keep” or “no” is all it takes. She has done well so far eliminating quite a few items, making it possible for what is left of be contained within the boxes I have set aside for her. Before she arrived the stuff was overflowing into other corners of my house. Hopefully before she leaves we might be able eliminate a box or two.

Each time she visits she eliminates more stuff. Quite often stuff that she chose to keep the last time she was here. One thing I have noticed during this exercise is that you can tell she is a traveller. Her only concern about the things she had to choose from was where they came from. For example the Elvis number plate she didn’t care about unless we got it when we were visited Memphis. The Mark McGwire baseball had the same effect, “Where did we get that?” was her only concern. When I told her a garage sale she was happy to let it go. So all I need to say when she’s not sure whether she cares so much about somethings is that we bought it at a garage sale. 😆 She forgets how cunning I am.

But seriously there are two things I take out of this. One is that when sentiment is tied to things people find them harder to part with. And two, communication is key when it comes to decluttering. I have found that nagging and insisting will not work when you want cohabiters in your home to declutter. Being silent and just putting up with the status quo will only serve to make you feel bitter and dissatisfied. You need to let those around you know what you would like to happen and that it is important to you and then allow them to comply at their own pace.

My daughter is aware of my needs when it comes to decluttering and she complies to whatever point she is prepared to.  There is no pressure forced onto her to give up things she isn’t prepared to part with. I make it as easy as possible for her and that makes it more likely to happen. I know she is not in a position to take all her stuff away right now and she probably wants to reduce it to a reasonable amount before that time does arrive. We are both happy and that is what matters.

Today’s Declutter Item

Here is my daughters decluttering effort so far and she had only been here 24 hours. I have to admit she, her brother and I did have a bit of fun playing Crocodile Dentist before we put it in the thrift shop box.

Something I Am Grateful For Today

Having fun with my kids.

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Sorry today’s post is late. I have no idea what happened to the post I wrote for today I has just disappeared. Instead of wasting any more time trying to find it I have delved into the archives to find a set of mini missions that looked interesting. I hope you find them useful.

Mini Mission Monday is about finding ten minutes a day to declutter. To make it easy for you, each Monday I set seven declutter missions, one for each day of the week for you to follow. It takes the guess work out of decluttering and makes it easy and “fun” for you to achieve some quick decluttering.

This week for our mini missions we are going to visit little nooks and crannies around the house which may have, up until now, remained untouched by human hands, or the vacuum cleaner for that matter, during our previous decluttering efforts. I will list seven places I have thought of below but if you have already taken care of these areas or you don’t have them in your home make some up for yourself. Don’t just declutter these areas give them a clean up as well.

Monday – The bottom of your linen closet.

Tuesday – A corner of your garage, attic or basement.

Wednesday – The cupboard under the stairs.

Thursday – Under your bed or any other bed in the house.

Friday – The cupboard/space under your laundry or kitchen sink.

Saturday – The top or bottom shelf of the pantry.

Sunday – A blanket box, shoe box, toy box or tool box.

Good luck and happy decluttering

Today’s Declutter Item

Here is some clutter Steve found in a corner of the garage. They belonged to one of my son’s motorbikes. He hasn’t had much luck with motorbikes. The first one was destroyed by vandals and the second one in the accident at Christmas time. I only wish that decluttering these parts signified him never riding again. But alas no.

Bike Parts

Photo Credit ~ Spaghetti Gazette

According to the January/February 2012 issue of Money magazine, you’ll be happier if you

“Spend a Little a Lot of the Time

“The Reason: Frequent small indulgences give you greater happiness than occasional splurges, according to a growing body of research covering everything from the pleasures of chocolate-chip cookies and massage chairs to lottery tickets and good grades.

“The Resolution: Skip big-ticket purchases in favor of smaller ones you can spread out. Instead of splurging on dinner and a show, eat out one weekend and go to the theater the next. Rather than a designer dress you might rarely wear, treat yourself to monthly pedicures.”

I read this, and it immediately occurred to me how this information could easily lead to the accumulation of clutter. Buying something feels good, and it’s fun, so we do it again. And again.

For those of you for whom shopping really is the weak link in your decluttering efforts, how can you take this information and use it in a way that is beneficial rather than destructive? Some of my ideas are

• Coffee out or purchasing very nice coffee or tea to have at home
• Getting a pedicure (Painted toes give me a real thrill.)
• Taking a weekly class on a topic you’ve been interested in for some time.
• What else? Shopping isn’t much of a vice to me, but I know for those of you who enjoy shopping, the advice “talk a walk in the evenings” probably isn’t going to replace the thrill of shopping. What ideas do you have for buying happiness without buying stuff?