Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

Perhaps if you’re like my mother – always organized, always together, the focused Energizer Bunny – you won’t understand this post, this post about why my house fell into complete disarray and stayed there for about 8 years. Well, perhaps not why it fell into disarray, but why it stayed that way, year after hateful year.

Our house was almost literally always under construction, with my husband and I as the main worker bees. I had two young children. I find housework boring. All those reasons are true. But plenty of people offered to dig me out of my hole, and I had a housekeeper every other week for several years. It would take me hours to “clean” before Ellie came to clean – mostly I was stacking things and tucking them away before her arrival so she could find the floor and the counters.

My reason, in part, why nothing stayed clean was anxiety, unease, discomfort. When I cleaned, I knew without a doubt, that the mess would come right back, right away. I felt uncomfortable and almost unhappy when the house surfaces were clean and the junk was piled up tidily. It was like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I knew, as sure as I know that water rolls downhill, that all that stuff was going to re-emerge, and sooner rather than later. It felt useless and hopeless to bother to tidy up – so why bother at all? I wasn’t working then, and once both of the kids were in school, I carried a secret fear that my husband might “fire” me as a homemaker and send me back to work because I was doing such a lousy job. Truth be told, I would have fired myself!

Besides my defeatist attitude, another thing that kept the house from being clean and staying clean was that I never organized or decluttered all the way. I would load the dishwasher but not wipe the counter. I would pay the bills but leave the stamps and envelopes out. We joked that no one in our house understood the word “away” as in “I’ll put that away.” 90% of the job done was 100% good enough for me. Why did I only go part of the way – laziness, habit, the feeling of wasted time I got from completing the job?

How did I overcome my cleaning anxiety? The kids getting older and the remodelling finally being finished both helped, that’s for sure. I became determined to know where everything was supposed to go. I decided that I wanted to be extremely familiar with the word “away.” And if I didn’t know where something’s “away” was, I would figure it out.

Although I was already on my way toward cleanliness and organization, I really started my decluttering on June 1, which is when I found 365lessthings. Since then, I have decluttered over 1,600 things. I could really see a difference after a couple of months, and so could the rest of the family. My husband, who had been secretly and not-so-secretly longing for a lovely home was praising. When one child’s room would look great, the other girl would ask for help with her room too. The ease of decluttering – and the reward – became exponential. Now when I look at the island (my black hole) and think, “That looks awful,” I know that it will take me 10 minutes to completely tidy it, and I remember that every surface in the house, plus half the furniture, used to look that way.

So remember there is hope for all of us no matter how deep in the quagmire of clutter we have sunk. You can claw your way out one item at a time, one day at a time one area at a time no matter how you got there. If I can do it so can you, you just have to get started. Good luck and happy decluttering.

Today’s Declutter Item

If I remember correctly this was a stocking filler one Christmas. Just the words stocking filler suggests that it is stuff you don’t need.

I am grateful from anything that brings me joy. Below are five things that gave me joy today.

• I love it when a sentence comes together – Often when I write my posts I am a little too rushed to edit them to my satisfaction or the best of my ability. Not good enough I know. So I do love it when a sentence just comes together and sounds good from the first draft
• The string of cooler days and rain we are having. It is so nice to keep the covers on at night and today I even put my dressing gown on when I got up.
• Knowing I have an entire day at home today – I have quite a few tasks and some unfinished business I need to take care of around here.
• Birthdays that keep repeating themselves – Several of my family got my birthday card out too late to arrive on time while other cards arrived early. The result is that my birthday is lasting for a whole week. I love it!
• Being there for one of my friends when she needed a sanity break.
  

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow.

Key #2 -Start with the easy stuff

When it comes to decluttering there are always those items that are easy to part with and items that for one reason or another you feel more attached to. My advice is to start with the easy stuff. Things you know for sure that you no longer want or need. Once you start to see and feel the benefits of your decluttering I am sure you will become more ruthless at parting with stuff. By the time you are done, you will wonder why you were ever so attached to those “hard to get rid of” items.

Item 358 of 365 less things

I wasn’t planning to get rid of this bag but it has hung in the back of my closet for the whole year unused so that speaks for itself.

5 Reflections of gratefulness and sanity this year

1. Finally seeing sense and quitting my thankless job.
2. Finally feeling at home in Australia again – It took a while
3. Having good friends that stick by me through thick and thin –I do the same for them.
4. Learning how to say no more often to things I don’t want to do or believe in – People really do respect your wishes and I haven’t lost any friends or loved ones over it.
   
5. Managing to stay sane through all the ups and down of this year – It sure has been an interesting one. Dear Lord can I please place my order for a much less stressful one next year. Amen.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow.

Each person’s goal when it come to minimalism is very individual. I, for one, cannot ever see myself living with only 100 things as some minimalists suggest. In fact at this point in my journey I have no idea how many more items will leave my home before I am satisfied with the end result. It may be that as time goes by my embrace on this lifestyle could strengthen and I may detach myself  from even more of my belongings than I ever considered when I started. Who knows?

Being comfortable in the here and now with what is too many and what is too few is all I concern myself with. I want to keep working on weeding out the things in the too many category while not getting carried away and ending up with too few for my needs.

Find you own balance

Just as we may have ended up with too much stuff while trying to keep up with the “Have all” Joneses. We could now take it to the opposite extreme by trying to outdo the minimalist Joneses. My advice is to gather all the wisdom you can from all the sources you subscribe to on the subject of  minimalism, simplicity and decluttering but keep true to yourself. Don’t look at it as some kind of competition or feel obliged to get rid of your treasured possessions. Just learn as you go and evolve naturally to the level you are comfortable with. No one is keeping score.

Item 327 of 365 less things

“If in doubt read the instructions” is not so smart. Had I noticed the sticker that said wind up every 3 month maybe the batteries would not have died and these would still be usable. Lesson learned.

5 Things I am grateful for today

1. Artistic ability – Even if I am not using it much lately.
2. I think I have found a good dentist – It only took me three years. The last one we used looked more like a dental museum.
3. Being financially secure – That is even more important in times of crisis.
4. Chicken – How many ways can you cook chicken? Tonight we are having roast chicken and veggies. Mmm mmm? Liam however is having pureed veggies and gravy. Not so mmmmm.
5. A nice message from a precious friend

Sometimes we can find it hard to just get up and go. Things happen in life that we would rather just hide away from and instead of getting on with it, we fall in a heap and feel sorry for ourselves. Sometimes the catalyst for this behaviour seems quite trivial to some but can be a big deal to you when you are living it from your perspective.

Trust me though, curling up in a ball in front of the television isn’t the solution to anything and it certainly doesn’t make you feel better about yourself. Giving up only adds to your woes and makes life even more unbearable. What you have to do is push yourself out of the doom and gloom and find a purpose.

How does this relate to decluttering? It is very easy to see the mess around you and think it’s such a huge undertaking that you don’t know where to start. But like every situation in life it starts with one step. Push yourself to do ten minutes a day then wallow in your achievement and be glad of the progress you have made no matter how small. You may be so pleased that you will do twenty minutes a day next week. There is no limit as to how big or small the steps have to be so long as you are taking them. Immerse yourself in the task at hand and that will give you some temporary relief from your woes.

Since last Friday I have made the effort to start posting to my blog again and catching up on the decluttering I missed while my son was in ICU and it makes me feel human again. Liam’s progress is slow and even seems like it is going backwards at times but I feel better when I push myself to achieve regardless of what sort of day we have had. If I can make that sort of effort under these trying circumstances, I am sure you can join with me and soldier on with your decluttering.

ITEM 308 OF 365 LESS THINGS

Poor old Ted he has seen better days and I have finally got the OK from my daughter to let him go. Bye Ted and thanks Old Grandma for the good times that were had with this bear you made so many years ago. We will always remember you both.

5 Things I am grateful for today

1. A new day and all the possibilities it brings.
2. Sunshine to get the sheets dry.
3. Coffee – I am just about to have one, I wish you could all join me we could have such a wonderful chat together.
4. Whistling – I found myself doing it along with the I Dream Of Genie theme today. It is such a cheerful thing to do.
5. A lovely evening with good friends
   

Another guest post by my husband.

You’ll never meet a traveller who, after five trips, brags: “Every year I pack heavier.”

Rick Steves – Travel Writer

These words echo in my head every time I pack for trip, whether business or pleasure, reducing the amount of stuff I carry always makes for a more enjoyable time. Whenever I travel with colleagues, they are amazed by my small bag and unable to imagine how they could do it. Packing light is easier than they think and anyone can reduce their luggage to a manageable size with some planning and preparation.

Colleen and I are committed to only take as much stuff as can be carried onto the flight; a 9″ x 22″ x 14″ bag weighing no more than 7 Kilos (15 lbs) plus a smaller bag for personal items like a camera. We use a convertible backpack/suitcase with zip-away shoulder straps that is lighter than your average roller bag, and easy to tote across town to our hotel. How do we do it? Well, my bag contains the following items:

• 2 collared shirts
• 2 t-shirts
• 1 pair of pants
• 1 pair of shorts/swimmers
• 4 sets of underwear
• 4 pair of socks
• 1 jacket
• Vibram Five Fingers
• small toiletries kit
• first aid kit
• 1 small towel
• journal/pens
• sewing kit
• guide book/maps
• phrase book (if needed)

In my camera bag:

• DSLR plus 28-135mm zoom
• 50mm lens
• iPod Touch
• battery charger
• spare battery/compact flash drives
• Archos 604WIFI (used for photo storage and charging the iPod)

I used to carry a laptop but an iPod touch provides me all the computing power I need except for an ability to upload photos from my camera so I carry the Archos 604. Despite carrying two devices, I still save more than half the weight of your average 12-13 inch laptop or netbook.

The main advantage of this small uncluttered travel bag is mobility. While most people are waiting for their bags, we are heading to the hotel. We can easily change planes, trains or buses when a delay occurs because everything is with us. Sure we have to do some washing along the way but it is often no more expensive to use a fluff and fold service than to do the laundry yourself. We also use lightweight wash and wear clothes that can be washed in a sink if necessary, and air dried over night.

Virtually nothing in our bag is there because we might need it, we will use every item continuously throughout our travels and when those one-off occasions arise we just buy what we need at that time. Plan for the best and be prepared to spend a little money if needed, why ruin a vacation lugging a huge bag of stuff you never use to save a few dollars. Travelling light is an awakening that can open your eyes to how little you need in your life, try it on your next vacation.

For those who cannot imagine travelling with one small bag, check out Rolf Potts’ No Baggage trip.

ITEM 250 0F 365 LESS THINGS

I am sure someone will find these fabric scraps useful but I am sure I am not going to use them

Yesterday I received an email from Denise which raised some interesting decluttering questions. I have edited and reworded the email as I did not have time to contact Denise to get her approval to quote it verbatim but I am sure she will know it was her and this is what she asked… (more or less)

What happens when you have gone through the house once and think you have decluttered significantly. I am sure I could do better but I wish I could see items around the house with “new eyes”. If you reach an impasse, do you try again or try another project and come back to decluttering in a few days? Does leaving the house help?

I have never really “gone through the house”. I am very much in tune to what is in my home probably due to the fact that I have moved so many times over the years. Since the last move I have added very little  but removed a lot therefore I know what is where and what I really don’t need/want/use.

Most days either my husband or I think of something that needs to go. Some days we do put aside more than one thing while on others we may be dealing with the removal of one item or another either selling, dismantling for recycling, putting in the garage for the next donation drop off not to mention photographing for the blog. We have even been trying to get ahead a little because we have a vacation planned soon. (Stay tuned for more info on that)

In the end there is an average on one item a day to be decluttered and added to the blog.

As for seeing things with new eyes, that happens all the time. The more I write and read on the subject of decluttering and minimalism the more ruthless I become about the “useless to me” items around my home. I would never call these items totally useless as they have potential to be useful to someone else. That is why so many things have either been donated or sold. I may pass over an area time and time again and find something else I realise doesn’t mean that much to me after all. That is the beauty of 365lessthings I learn and change as I go. There are so many things that at the start of this journey I would have had difficulty parting with but my attitude and belief systems have matured as time has passed.

That is not to say that I never have burn out days. They are usually days where other things are getting me down which can cause my enthusiasm to become a bit stagnant. Life goes on outside of my decluttering and blogging world that can stress me out and make me want to curl up in a ball just like anyone else. I wouldn’t want to let my readers down so a drag my sorry butt to my computer and troll though other sites to give me inspiration. Sometimes a comment from my wonderful readers will get me inspired. I know there are so many things still in my home that need to go so I just shake off my doldrums and get to it and I usually feel better for the effort.

Denise asked if getting out of the house helps. I like to take a long walk each day which isn’t always possible but a walk sure does raise the spirits and gives me time to think about what I am willing to tackle that day. Unfortunately lately the lousy weather we have been having and the extra hours I have been putting in at work have certainly put a damper on my mood and restrictions on my time. Denise works from home so I can imagine getting out would be essential to put her in a better frame of mind to see things with a fresh eye.

Who knows maybe Denise has done all that needs doing for now. Everyone’s journey is different. We all have different needs and are at varying stages in our lives. One persons idea of being decluttered may be vastly different to another. I suggest take a second look at your feelings and not so much at the items themselves. I find it is a natural progression and I really just make it up as I go along. If I felt like I was done now I would stop.

So good luck Denise, I hope this was helpful to you and to my other readers as well.

ITEM 215 OF 365 LESS THINGS

Another item just like yesterday’s only this one made more money, $36.00 in fact.

I don’t know if I am interpreting “Inner Voice” the wrong way but I don’t happen to agree that you should always listen to it like people often advise. I think of “Inner Voice” as that niggling little feeling inside that makes you feel cautious when faced with certain situations that you aren’t to sure about.

In my experience that little voice often tells lies and undermines your common sense. I have suffered from depression on and off during my life and I can tell you for sure that that little voice hasn’t helped during those periods. It has come right to the forefront causing me a whole lot of unnecessary grief that I definitely shouldn’t have listened to.

Would you tell a person suffering from  schizophrenia to listen to their “Inner Voice”? I think not. Even if I have got the “Inner Voice” confused with something else, who is to say which feeling is which. I am also sure that most people inflicted with a hoarding disorder are listening to what they think is their inner voice telling them to keep useless things because they many be important some day.

My point here is that you should stop and question that thing that you think is your inner voice at least in the following situations…

• When it tells you to buy that cute sweater because it will make you feel better when you are having a bad day. In a week or two that sweater will just be languishing in the back of your closet with ten of it’s other “bad day’ friends making you feel guilty for wasting your money on it.
• When it tells you that you should keep all your fat/skinny clothes because you may need them one day. These clothes make you feel bad if they are skinny clothes and undermine your new healthy way of life if they are your fat clothes.
• When it tells you to dwell on your mistakes from the past instead of just learning from them and moving on.
• When it tells you to worry about things that haven’t happened yet and probably won’t. (I have spent a good bit of my life worrying about things that never happened.)
• When it tells you you should keep clutter just in case you may need it one day. Oh how busy that little voice can be worrying people into hoarding all sorts of useful stuff that would be better of in the hands of people how actually will use them NOW!
• When it tells you you have to hang on to great-granddads old mahogany dining table because so and so (usually someone who didn’t want it cluttering up their house) will be so disappointed it you don’t. If it is a family heirloom there is probably some other person in the family happy to take it off your hands. Even if it is valuable that value is no use to you if you aren’t “allowed” to sell it.

Then again maybe I have just haven’t dug deep enough and have all this time been listening to some bad shallow voice. Kind of like in cartoons where there is an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. Still when you can’t see which costume they are wearing it is hard to tell the difference.

I am sure you can come up with more of your own examples of when that inner voice has mislead you into doing things that weren’t all that advisable in hindsight. Please leave me a comment with some of your own personal examples I would love to hear from you.

ITEM 181 OF 365 LESS THINGS

A little voice said “keep these computer parts they will come in useful one day”. In actual fact all they became was clutter for a long time and now they have been donated to charity and hopefully someone else is finding them useful again now.

If you have been reading my blog for a while you will know that my take on decluttering is ” slow and steady wins the race”. One of the advantages to this approach is that you can start with the easy stuff and as time goes on you become more ruthless and eager to reduce your clutter more and more. The job gets easier as you go because what seemed like hard decisions at first become simpler and comfortable for you.

Betty Jo from Joy With Less has discovered this and she recently wrote about it in her post The Little Things. Here is an excerpt of what Betty Jo wrote..

Like Betty Jo has discovered, decluttering is a process one that gets easier as you go if you give yourself the time to get comfortable with the areas you find challenging. Learn as you go, get ruthless when you are ready and youwill find out how liberating it can be.

ITEM 167 OF 365 LESS THINGS

This vase hasn’t been used for a long time, someone else may use it more than me.

Due to all I have learned since starting my 365lessthings resolution where I have taken a relaxed approach to a job that could otherwise be quite unpleasant I am really starting to mellow and learn to savour the good feelings evoked during the process rather than just being satisfied when I am done. Through links to minimalism and inspirational web sites that I have discovered along the way I am learning to live in the moment and enjoy the process.

If you approach an event with dread, determined that you will not get any enjoyment out of it, chances are it is going to live up to all your expectations. If you resign yourself to the fact that an event may not be your favourite way to spend your time but are determined to make the most of the situation there is a chance you may be pleasantly surprised.

For example, I set aside one day a week to do the bulk of my housecleaning, dusting, vacuuming, toilets, basins, showers etc. Every week I dread this day simply because it is what it is, a crappy job but someone has to do it. I have taken this attitude for the last 20 years which is quite pointless because I love the end result. I like the feel of the house being clean and tidy around me but I could not stop thinking this way until now.

Since I have learned to savour the moment my attitude to doing my housework is changing dramatically.  I find myself feeling the atmosphere clearing while I vacuum the floor as if the the vacuum cleaner is filtering the air as I work. I am noticing how my micro-fibre cloths start to glide more smoothly over the surfaces as they meet less resistance as the grime is wiped away. I delight in knowing that the freshness is returning as the clothes tumble around in the washing machine.

Strangely enough these kinds of feeling were there from the beginning when it came to my decluttering project simply because I was determined from the get go to take a calm and steady approach. I receive so much satisfaction from knowing that with each effort I make, my home is getting more clear and efficient. There is another level of satisfaction knowing that most of the items I no longer have use for found new purpose for someone else.

ITEM 162 OF 365 LESS THINGS

I had procrastinated for months over buying new bed linen. The old down comforter had seen better days  and the cover was too dark for our now tiny bedroom.  I finally made a decision but  now these cushions no longer match and I am sick of putting them on and taking them off the bed anyway so off they go to Lifeline.

I no longer look at the decluttering process as a chore in fact I really enjoy it. I look for the positive in in every little effort I make. I no longer focus on the enormity of the task and just revel in the good feelings I get every time  a piece of clutter leaves my house. There is such a feeling of accomplishment and freedom associated with ridding myself  of objects that bring me stress rather than the joy I thought they represented when I brought them into my life.

I have almost forgotten what the feeling is like that is evoked by retail therapy. I think I was pretty much over shopping before this decluttering process even started or maybe that was the catalyst. Whenever I am forced to go to my local shopping centre usually that is just for groceries these days, I actually feel sorry for all the people around me clamoring for one item or another that they feel is lacking in their lives.

I suggest if you are not feeling this way about your efforts with decluttering you should just take a little time out and think about…

• how you are are feeling about the clutter (how it now feels like it owns you, how you feel smothered by it, the quilt when you look at all that stuff you are sorry ever came into your life in the first place).
• how you are hoping to feel once it is gone (the freedom, how clear the air feels, the stress relief, the lessons learned and maybe even the lifting of the financial burden when you have learned to buy less in the first place)
• the relief you feel every time you remove an item from your space  (the joy of accomplishment, how every little thing makes a difference, one more battle won, one more step to freedom and a simpler, happier life)

Focus on the good feelings to keep you motivated and when you falter remember the bad feeling and how you don’t want to go back there and keep on forging ahead.

ITEM 129 OF 365 LESS THINGS

I thought I would give you a break from snow gear and throw in this computer desk the was far too bulky for the space we had it in.