Thursdays with Deb J ~ Leaving My Comfort Zone
All of us have varying comfort zones. There are just some items, people, ideas, and/or places that mean home to us. That doesn’t mean that home can’t be moved but when that happens there are certain accoutrements to making up “home.†This is our comfort zone. The things we fight to not change. If this is going to happen then this has to happen too. We tend to set those Comfort Zone (CZ) items in concrete. Unfortunately, many times this hinders us rather than helping us. In fact, it tends to keep us rooted in the past.
Along comes change. Someone/something wants to take us out of our CZ. We fight it. We drag our feet, wail, throw a fit, or just plant ourselves in one spot. Our CZ is just that. The things/people that bring us comfort. They give us a feeling of safety. But what if that safety is all a hoax? What if you were to find that the best time of your life was on the other side of the change you are fighting? What if you were to find that your present CZ was actually stunting your growth as a person, couple or family, was weighing you down so you couldn’t soar in your job, hobby or life, was preventing you from having the money for those bucket list items, or was just keeping you from something you never dreamed of?
I learned a lesson about this several times. Once big time was when my father died and I suddenly had a mother and her bills to take care of. It meant moving, keeping jobs I was not fond of at the beginning because I had to have a job and having less money than I would have liked. But it also led to living in places we loved, making friends we still have, and having 3 jobs that used my talents to the fullest and made me very happy.
The second time was when I went from having an upper middle class income, a challenging and interesting job, and fairly good health to a poverty level income, no job and diseases that make every day a challenge. I quickly lost many things that had been part of my life for a long time—season tickets at the symphony, enjoying a night out with friends, having a new car every two-three years, having whatever furniture or clothes I wanted. Not that I was into things that much but your lifestyle tends to follow along with the income you make.
Suddenly I no longer had any of those. In fact, I had way too much that no longer fit my life. So I started to declutter it all. Some of it was easy. Why have fancy work clothes when I didn’t need them? Some of it I fought. Why do I have to give up the symphony? Why do we have to move? Why can’t I have the doctors I want instead of having a small list to choose from? On and on it went. It has been 8 years since I was blasted out of my last CZ. It has not been easy and some of the changes have been very hard. Yet, here I am living in a new CZ. Things in my life are much different. Yes I am content. I have found I don’t need all those things I no longer have. I have found that little is much and enough. My CZ is different. It is no longer based on the things I have or how much of them, where I live, who is there. It is based on knowing I have enough to live. Oh, sure, there are some things I miss and would do again if I could but they are not so important that I get upset without them. I have a happy life because I have chosen it. All of those things I had were a way of keeping me from a path that is much more satisfying. I know that sounds odd but it is true. With fewer things to drag me down I am able to fly. It’s wonderful.
Perhaps your stuff has clipping your wings, think about it. Is your comfort zone smaller than you realise?
It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow