Deb J

I have never been very sentimental toward things. I have had a few collections over the years and they kept mostly because I didn’t want to hurt the feelings of those who had given them to me. I found myself attaching to people. I never wanted to let go of anyone once they had been in my life. I wrote letters for years to many of the people who had come and gone in my life. When email came along I switched to emailing them and then later to Facebook (FB) if they had an account.

In mid May someone made a comment on 365 Less Things that set me to thinking. I wish I could remember who and could quote the comment. I just know I suddenly realized that I had a clutter area that I needed to work on. It was my email list and FB list. I realized that I had a lot of people on both and that I was spending a lot of time reading status reports and sending emails. I also realized that I had a pretty long list of people I sent homemade birthday or anniversary cards to. With some of the other changes I am making in my life I had to examine these areas to see why I was so dutifully engaged in this.

One of the first things I realized was that many of the people I emailed or send cards to never responded back. Oh, they seemed to like reading my messages but I never heard anything about their lives. I had the same thing going on when it came to FB. Many of them would have all of these pictures, jokes, etc. they posted but little about themselves and their actual lives. I sat down with these lists and began to set some priorities and guidelines. I began to delete friends and addresses.

On FB I had 93 friends when I started this process. I now have about 40. I am part of a FB group for our church so anyone who is in that group is no longer a FB friend in the regular friend area. I don’t need them in two places. It’s the important stuff they put on the church group page that is what I want not the games, likes, jokes, political stuff, etc. In the regular area I have kept my few family members who have FB accounts, some close friends who I hear from all the time, and a few friends who only post on a occasional basis but who are very important to me. I read FB once a day now.

In my address book I removed everyone who I have not heard from in a long time. As I went through that book I realized I had 20+ names of people who I had been sending a Christmas card to plus quarterly emails and not once had I received more than maybe a Christmas card with nothing but their name signed. Hmmm! I don’t seem to be important to them. That’s okay. Things change in our lives and that means we even lose some friends we cared about and were close to at one time. I took those names out of my Outlook address book. I also went through and deleted a number of email addresses for this same reason.

The last thing I went through was my list of birthdays and anniversaries. I realized that only a few of them really cared about receiving a homemade card (or any card). These were mostly family. So I took all those names and listed most of them either FB or email birthday/anniversary greetings. Less postage was a bonus benefit, and better for the environment

Does this sound unfriendly to you? Do you have the same dilemma? Have you even considered this as a place to declutter? I have to tell you that it was a huge change for me. It took lots of consideration. I was so used to making the effort to keep up with people. I had all of this done near the beginning of June. It’s been quite feeling of freedom since then. I expected guilt or something to overtake me. It hasn’t. I feel like this was long overdue. I don’t think anyone will notice.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Way way back on Day 258 of my decluttering journey I wrote this post on five items I won’t declutter. Today I am writing an update on that post. Pictured below are the five items in question.

So which of these items do I still own that I would never part with.

The Flour Sifter ~ As I have mentioned previously was decluttered. It left on the 19th Oct, 2012. As I mentioned in this post I decided I no longer needed it, either for practical or sentimental reasons.

The Can Opener ~  This I still have. It serves me well and I have no need to replace it with some new fancy modern equivalent. This old fashioned type is good enough for me.

The Peg Bag ~ Natural progression finally took hold of this item. It got very old and even rattier than it looks in the photo. I used it to make a pattern to sew a similar one for my daughter but I chose not to replace mine. Instead I began using a plastic basket I already owned. This substitution started out as a trial separation, knowing that I could make another if I wished, but I have not as yet bothered to do so. A part of it still remains, the coat hanger within it was used in my daughters new version. Hers is made from a luscious rich red corded velour fabric remnant that I got cheap at a craft shop.

The Laptop ~ This was replaced long ago. It was over six years old and not cooperating well. So in essence it wasn’t decluttered just substituted. It was sold on eBay and hopefully some tech savvy person managed to revamp it and it is still in use somewhere today.

The Grill Pan ~ This is another of those old, well seasoned items that is still in my possession. It is great for cooking pancakes and many other foods on. It was secondhand when my mother-in-law gave it to me and I know that if I decided I didn’t want it my daughter would be happy to take it off my hands.

All these items were of great service to me. They were, and in some cases still are, used and used and used. This is the kind of stuff that I find most valuable in my home. No fancy china, not mementoes of past achievements, not an extensive wardrobe or status symbols. Just good old fashioned useful stuff.

Here is what my daughter wrote in the comments of that original post back on day 258:-

I almost fell over when I saw the photo that was next to this post when it came up on Facebook. It was the one of the skillet from grandma and I thought you’d gotten rid of it. It’s honestly the greatest skillet known to man..and the rest of those items are all some of my favorites. A little bit because they’re just really useful and good items to have around the house but also because through all the moving that we’ve done over the years, they’ve always been with us to make each new house feel like home.

Decluttering isn’t all about getting rid of stuff it is more about sorting out and only keeping the good stuff that is truly important to you for whatever reason.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Here are some questions to ask yourself if you have a lot of nicknacks adorning your home. Usually a home full of nicknacks also has additional furniture to house those nicknacks. Pedestals and little tables for them to sit on, china cabinets and bookshelves crammed with them, open 3D frames hanging on the wall containing more tiny bits and pieces. Just the thought of it all makes me wheeze and sneeze. So here are my questions…

• How important can each and every item possibly be to you when they are crammed onto shelves where you can’t even see half of them because they are hidden behind one another?
• How often do you actually take the time to look at each and every one of these items?
• How clean is your home on a daily basis when there are so many of these items that you can only bring yourself to dust them once a year?
• How much time and energy do you even have to devote to maintaining your home in this state?
• How easy is your home to clean properly when so much wall and floor space is covered with the furniture or props holding these items?
• How much money has been spent acquiring these items while renovations and repairs have gone begging on the structure you live in?
• How much more could you enjoy and appreciate your favourites among these items if the overall quantity were fewer and less crowded?
• If you died tomorrow would you really want your loved ones to have to deal with all your stuff in their time of grief?

If you do have a desire to reduce your collection in order to make cleaning day easier but you are having a hard time letting go it is possible to desensitise yourself from this anxiety. All you have to do is choose an item that you care the least about among the collection and let it go. If you feel any pangs after parting with an item remind yourself of your goal of easing your cleaning burden. Give yourself a day or two to establish the fact that you have barely noticed an item’s absence and then choose another least loved item and again let it go. Continue on with this method and I am sure you will end up letting go of more items than you ever thought you would.

Rearrange and spruce up your collection as you progress so as to have it looking the best it can. Bringing all your favourites to the fore.

Hopefully you will advance so far with this task that you start to empty furniture items and can also remove them to create open spaces which are easy to clean. Just thinking about all the balls of fluff, dust mites and possibly even mould and roaches that can hide in all these nooks and crannies makes me cringe. And although that may sound a little melodramatic it is entirely possible. In Australia these are also places where venomous spiders (Redbacks and Whitetails) can lurk.

Today’s Mini Mission

Declutter any old manuals or warranty papers that are out of date or you no longer have the items for. This is one of those areas of paperwork that builds up over time. Be vigilant because paperwork can be very daunting to deal with when allowed to accumulate.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

Cindy

My in-laws have recently visited us, and like a light bulb coming on over my head, I realized that my in-laws are living like minimalists.

I’ve talked about my in-laws here before from a different perspective – as owners of several storage units. While they live in California, the majority of their stuff lives in storage, in Texas. Each time they visit my family, they also make a couple trips to the storage units.  Over time, they have reduced what is being stored there, and last year, they arranged a Salvation Army to truck take away a large amount of stuff, including furniture. Nonetheless, they still have an entire storage unit here, and my mother-in-law has told me firmly “That’s what we want to keep.” Truly, I have no idea what’s there except for their china, and I only know this because she and I have the same china pattern, and she’s given me a few of her pieces.

In addition, they have a storage unit in California near where they live. This unit contains the furniture, electronics, and household items that they were using in their most recent home.

Two storage units? How can they be living like minimalists, you might ask? Well, while their stuff is living in storage, they’re living with a bare minimum of possessions.

They sold their house, which they primarily purchased as a fixer upper / flip and are happily living in a Residence Inn, a long-stay hotel. Because they like to buy and sell houses, travel, and not plan very far in advance, the Residence Inn fits their lifestyle beautifully, and they are happy there.

The two of them live in a one bedroom apartment. Breakfast is provided every day, I believe, and dinner is provided four days of the week. They have a two burner cooktop, a microwave, and a refrigerator. None of the furnishings, linens, etc. belong to them.

When they want to travel, which they do frequently, they pack up all their personal items, load them into their (one) car, and check out of the Residence Inn. They drive the car to a storage unit that they have in California and park it inside, with their stuff still in the trunk. From there, they take a taxi to the airport, and they’re on their way. If it’s a driving trip, they unload the car and drive off.  Literally, they are able to pack everything they live with into a vehicle, make a single trip, and be finished. When they return back to California, they reverse the process.

It’s the perfect solution for a couple who wants to be footloose and fancy free and can live without being surrounded by their own stuff. Could you live like my in-laws?

Today’s Mini Mission

Declutter something because it is an eyesore in your home, or perhaps always was. Maybe some sort of junk in the back yard, an ugly décor item that someone else gave you but you never liked or a fixture in the home that has become ratty or faded.

Eco Tip for the Day

Instigate a weekly old fashioned board game night for the family. Turn of the televisions, the computers, the DS, the PSP, the XBox and the PS3, get everyone in the same room, turn out all the other lights and save a little power for a couple of hours a week.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

The 10 year old outfit

The outfit

I never thought I would write a text about an outfit. Especially not the one in this photograph, because the only relevance it has in my life is that it was never worn. I bought this outfit in 2003, it was Autumn. It is a winter outfit. The skirt and blouse are of a hot fabric (sweating is not an option or it would stick and get smelly, even in winter) and it was very stiff, not allowing much movements. But I am making excuses for myself. I knew all of this when I tried the outfit at the store. I remember very clearly the day I bought this outfit, because it was the one time out of two that I put it on. It was not an overly expensive outfit, but I did pay money for it. The first time I tried it, at the store, I felt powerful. I thought I would put high-heeled boots with high tops and look great. Except that the perfect place to use that outfit never came. Never! And the years came and went. I gained weight, got pregnant twice, lost weight, gained again, bought clothes to fit my new weight, donated loads of clothes that were too worn/small/not my style anymore but this outifit, never worn, never made it to the donation pile. I changed my clothes from one wardrobe to another and the outfit was just going from one place to another. And it never met my washing machine either…

I remember the other occasions that I gave clothes away when I looked at this outfit and I thought: “I am going to use it. The perfect time for using it will present itself.” Of course that time never came. But I could not accept that I had done this, that I bought something and had not worn it. Not one single time. I get hand-me-downs from time to time and I don’t wear the clothes because I don’t like them, I just pass them on. But I did not choose those clothes. I did not go to a store, try them on and buy them. They came for free and the same way went.

On January, 11, 2013, I was trying to do a challenge, like Steve did, and was assembling 100 objects to declutter. And I opened the place in my wardrobe where the outfit was. I was with a trusted person, who helps me with housekeeping and babysitting when needed, and she said I should let it go, because in three years she had never seen me wear it. I did not try it on to see if it still fitted, I just let it go.

Why did I hold on to that outfit for so long? Because, as Colleen has put again and again on this blog, I could not accept defeat. I could not accept that I did not like the outfit, that buying it was a mistake and that it was simply not my style and I would never wear it, no matter how long I held on to it.

I learned my lesson. But it took me too long and I agonized too much over it. Don’t let clutter agonize you, if you have something that you never wore, never used and are just hanging on because the day will come when you use it, give it up, that day will never come. Even if you think, as I did briefly, that there could come a Contry Theme party and I would miss that outfit and would want to wear it, I reminded myself that two such occasions did present themselves in 2012 and I did not wear that outfit. I chose something else. And the outfit had been there, at my disposal, in my wardrobe. So I let it go. Trust me, give up whatever you are not using, you will not need it and the occasion will never rise, I waited 10 years and that “perfect occasion” to use it never came.

The Weekend’s Mini Missions

Saturday – If you haven’t taken a look at your collection of books for a while now is as good a time as any. If you are inclined, reduce the number a little more. Question your sentimental attachment to books you have already read and aren’t likely to read again.

Sunday - Sunday is reserved for contemplating one particular item of your choice that is proving difficult for you to declutter. Whether that be for sentimental reasons, practical reasons, because the task is laborious or simply unpleasant, or because the items removal requires the cooperation of another person. That last category may mean that the item belongs to someone else who has to give their approval, it could also mean there is a joint decision to be made or it could mean that the task of removing it requires assistance from someone else. There is no need to act on this contemplation immediately, it is more about formulating a plan to act upon or simply making a decision one way or another.

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

Out of sight clutter

Have you ever noticed that there is certain clutter in your home that you not only never use but you don’t even lay eyes on it for long periods of time. During that time you don’t think of it. It is like it doesn’t even exist. But the minute you unearth it memories come flooding back and suddenly it seems so precious.

I am not just referring to keepsakes here I am including all manner of clutter. That old tupperware way back in the furthermost reaches of your kitchen cabinet. The sporting equipment buried under more useful stuff in the back shed. Photographs in which you can’t even identify half of the subjects. Plush toys in the bottom of your old blanket box. Those least favourite socks in the depths of your sock drawer. The file relegated to the last hanger of your filing cabinet. Boxes in the garage that you never unpacked after your last move.

Would these items come to mind if you had to compile an inventory of your home contents off the top of your head. I bet not. And yet were you to unearth these items you would likely be struck with crazy thoughts of how precious they were to you or how useful they are or I might still use that. The memories of days gone by when these items were an everyday part of your life cloud your judgement on just how big of a waste of space they have become.

When confronted with these objects try to be logical. Everyday we create new memories and new priorities. Saving a little of the past is fine but life has a way of twisting and changing and the less stuff you have blocking your way the freer you are to live in the now and explore the possibilities of the future.

In the wise words of Dr. Suess ~ “Today is gone. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one. Everyday from here to there, funny things are everywhere.”

Today’s Mini Mission

I know from experience that, when overstocked, one can lose sight of individual craft items that have been drowned among the masses. Quite often when you do unearth them they are no longer to your taste. Declutter any craft supplies that you, if you are honest with yourself, are unlikely to use.

Eco Tip for the Day

Transferring cash and making payments digitally saves on trips to the bank, paper, mailing and wear and tear on printed currency. Saving little pockets of energy with each of those savings.

For a full list of my eco tips so far click here

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Every home has items that are never considered for decluttering. Mostly useful items that are in service continually but also beautiful items that are admired or sentimental items that you wouldn’t dream of letting go. These items never feel like a burden to the household because they are a valued part of everyday life. They are used and used again, used up and then replaced or on display somewhere where they can be admired or remind us of happy times, successes or loved ones.

Then there are those items that are only lingering because we haven’t got around to donating, selling or tossing them. Stuff we’d have no qualms about decluttering if we could face the prospect of weeding them out and dispatching them. These items are the easy ones to let go of when we finely decide enough is enough it is time to declutter. Parting with them is only a physical thing no a metal challenge. These are the items to concentrate on first when we begin our declutter journey.

And then there are the problem items, these are the ones which we have trouble letting go. You know the ones.

• Items you keep out of obligation, such as things that have been gifted to you by someone else and you feel obliged to keep them even though you don’t really want them.
• Aspirational items that your inner most being craves to make use out of but the right time or creative inspiration never seems to strike or has long ago left you. Memory tells you these items are useful and that you should hang on to them but all they do is linger and make you feel a that you have failed them in some way.
• Then there are the sentimental items whose lesser significance to the truly loved memorabilia merely relegates them to a box deep in the attic somewhere. Sure when you pull them out you oooh and aaarh over them remembering good time but then they get sent back to where they came from for another ten years.
• And lets not forget the I might need you one day items. Sure you may have a use for some of these items one day but to say you may need them could be stretching reality a little. Stop and think about the things you do use all the time, even some of those are things you could live without. So don’t allow the thought of future regret plague your decision to let go of stuff the isn’t being used and hasn’t for a long time.

This blog post was inspired by a segment in Gretchen Ruben’s new book ~ Happier at Home. She talks about engaging with the items that you haven’t used or appreciated in a while. If you are having trouble deciding whether to keep them or to let items go try putting them into service ~ use them, bring them out and put them on display for a while. Give them one last chance to redeem themselves and if you still aren’t loving them or finding them particularly useful then just liberate them to someone who may find them more useful that you do.

This process can be applied to a few items at a time so you can focus your attention on them for enough time to assess their worth. This can be done while you continue to declutter the items that you are happy to remove immediately. With the slow and steady approach both processes can go on simultaneously so no time is wasted.

I have done this with many items over the last three years of my possession downsize. Some things I have used up and not replace. Some things I have put into use but not found them useful while others I discovered a newfound appreciation for. Things I have kept out of obligation have been viewed with a new neutral mindset and have either past muster or been added to the donation pile. Either way I have been satisfied that I am making the right decision for me and my home at this time and followed through on that decision.

So if in doubt give the item one last chance, in other words either use it or lose it.

Today’s Mini Mission

Declutter a pair of shoes that you no longer wear. Perhaps ones that are pretty but a torture to wear. Ones that are old favourites but are really so shabby you never, or shouldn’t, choose to wear them anymore. Or maybe a pair that are so ugly you wonder why you ever bought them in the first place.

Eco Tip for the Day

Add a few one pot meal to your weekly menu. Cooking everything at once saves on electricity and your precious time. I often also cook the meat portion of my meals separately but cook all my vegetable together one way or another. A slow cooker or a set of steamer saucepans come in handy for this method of cooking.

For a full list of my eco tips so far click here

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Remember back in October one of our fellow 365ers needed our advice on getting go of her clutter with eyes. Read about it here. Well this week she sent us and update that she wanted me to share with you all.

Here is what Chrissie had to say…

This is some update on my efforts concerning things with eyes. Feel free to publish if you like to. I am progressing! Not as fast as I wish to but anyway progress is visible – Especially today!

From all the comments of your readers I created little tutorial

Helpful actions

• Involve trusted friend or family member (my hubby and my Mom – I don’t like to share this topic with more people…)
• Start with least sentimental value (I started with a sorting and piled those which I definitely cannot let go and worked only on the remaining stuff)
• Give the items to a friend for disposal (good a idea, but as above, I will no involve more people an that embarassing topic)
• Don’t bring item into you house that have eyes (this is what I always sermonize on my on blog – best way to be free of clutter is avoiding new clutter)
• Paint over the faces to get rid of the eyes (no no no I could not make them blind! Ouch!)
• Keep only 1 box and the rest let go (this is exactly what I managed – I had 4 boxes with cuddly toys, no it is only 1!)
• Put them into a box and give them to charity (there are 2 critical boxes waiting for my approaches to charity, but this is not easy in Germany…)
• Check if you can give them to police, firefighter or pedriatic units who may solace children with them (this is as well option for the 2 waiting boxes)
• Give them to animal shelter (will keep that option in case charity will not work)
• Put them face down into kitchen bin and cover with dirt, e.g. tea bags (this I did with items I occasionally decluttered during last time, this very good idea prevents me from digging them out of the bin once again)
• Take photos (digitalization is good idea, but in fact I was surprised that there were almost no feelings towards the items that I did not put on the “must-stay-pile”. I took no photos, appart from what is attached to this little article)
• Do it all at once (different option vs. step-by-step – In fact I faced all the 4 high critical boxes on one day, but finally there left only some 20 items the house that were in too bad condition for anything)
• Put them quickly in the car and bring them away (YES! In fact I brought them to the Textil Container immediately although this is forbidden on Sundays…)

Helpful thoughts

• Beeing sad is ok, it shows that you have feeling which is not bad at all J
• Give them 2^nd chance to be loved
• They have fullfilled their purpose
• They don’t love you back
• They are from material like plastic, fake fur, etc only – it’s not living!

Yes indeed, I started with 4 critical boxes.

I devided all the content into 2 piles.

The must-stay-pile I reduced to the size of 1 box.

The let-go-pile I devided into bad condition and still usable

The bad condition items I put into plastic bags and brought them out of the house immediately

2 more boxes are now waiting for further purpose.

Inbetween I invited as well my Mom to review what I sorted out. She strongly adivsed me to put one more item into the must-stay-box (…) and took 2 other cuddly toys for decoration purpose back to her home.

That’s it so far!

The Weekend’s Mini Missions

Saturday – Find 10 minute to go through one hanging file in your filing cabinet. Just One! Shred and recycle the papers that need not be retained. The idea of doing the whole cabinet is likely to be paralysing in nature but one small section isn’t so daunting. Am I right? Perhaps next week you could do another small section ~ “rinse and repeat” ~ and before you know it the whole thing will be clutter free. I am using this method on my vast collection of photos.

Sunday - Sunday is reserved for contemplating one particular item, of your choice that is proving difficult for you to declutter. Whether that be for sentimental reasons, practical reasons, because the task is laborious or simply unpleasant, or because the items removal requires the cooperation of another person. That last category may mean that the item belongs to someone else who has to give their approval, it could also mean there is a joint decision to be made or it could mean that the task of removing it requires assistance from someone else. There is no need to act on this contemplation immediately, it is more about formulating a plan to act upon or simply making a decision one way or another.

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

This week I received an email from Chrissie who has a unique decluttering issue that she would like her fellow 365ers and myself to give her advice on. Below is the message she sent explaining her issue.

“Although I’m quite successful in decluttering and drive my own project online ~einfach-weniger.blogspot (Simply Fewer in English) I’m lost as soon as things have eyes. No matter if cuddly toys from the childhood (they can be ugly as hell!), knick knacks, useless promo gifts, … as soon as they have eyes they are begging me to stay in my house. All available declutter strategies did not work so far. And please note that only small portion represent items that can be sold or given to charity. Most of items are old, ugly, used. I caught myself picking them out of the garbage once I managed to throw them away.” ~ Chrissie

So Chrissie here is my advice. I think you should get a trusted friend or family member to help you with this. Get together and choose maybe 5 of these items, the ones that you care for the least. Ones with the least sentimental value. Those promo items would be a good place to start. Give them to your friend to dispose of. She is not to put them aside at her house just in case you want them back, she is to dispose of them permanently as appropriate somewhere that you can’t retrieve them. With this method you not only have support, encouragement and rational assistance, there also is not turning back. No taking the items back out of the trash.

If you find you have dealt with this first attempt quite well do another batch. Hopefully over time you will desensitise yourself to this weakness when you realise that once the items are out of your home that you don’t give them much ,if any, thought.

Also, in future, just don’t bring items into your home that have eyes. It is possible to refuse promo gifts. Just explain politely that you are environmentally responsible and don’t accept items that you have no need for. This can apply to things without eyes as well.

The Weekend’s Mini Missions

Saturday – Declutter a gadget ~ Gadgets are so alluring but once acquired they often fall short of expectations. Get rid of one of those that has fallen short.

Sunday – On a trial basis ~ for now ~ Sunday will be reserved for contemplating one particular item, of your choice that is proving difficult for you to declutter. Whether that be for sentimental reasons, practical reasons, because the task is laborious or simply unpleasant, or because the items removal requires the cooperation of another person. That last category may mean that the item belongs to someone else who has to give their approval, it could also mean there is a joint decision to be made or it could mean that the task of removing it requires assistance from someone else. There is no need to act on this contemplation immediately it is more about formulating a plan to act upon or simply making a decision one way or another.

This Week’s Gratitude List

1. Some lovely fine days.
2. Outings with friends including one of my readers Wendy F. Thanks for coming Wendy it was fun chatting with you.
3. Happening upon just the right box at the shop up the street to pack a skateboard deck in. It was so perfect for the job that there had to be some sort of divine intervention that lead me to it.
4. The opportunity to be creative. I have been making Christmas cards this week with the added bonus of using up papercrafting supplies.
5. My beautiful daughter passed her fitness test this week and will soon be a member of the Royal Australian Air Force. Congratulations baby girl you make us proud.

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

A Guest Post by ~ Deb J

As I have been following Colleen’s blog and the comments we make I realized something very pivotal for me. By decluttering my home, my clothes, my lifestyle my computer and my mind I am becoming unfettered.

I used to be restricted to having company only when we had time and energy to get out all the china and silver, and put on our “company best.” Everything had to be a production of monumental proportions. The house had to be spotless and so clean you could eat off the floor. This was a leftover from my upbringing, a result of being raised that everything had to be perfect. After all, everyone would be making an inspection and giving points. Right? At least that was what my mother thought. We no longer have the china and the silver. We realize that clean is fine and perfection is something that is never achieved because each person has their own idea of what perfection entails. Entertaining is now based on providing a place of relaxation and fun with a bit of good food thrown in. It can be spur of the moment because all a friend wants is time with you. They don’t care about the accoutrements.

I was restrained by a lifestyle based on what I thought others expected. The 
“Others” were everyone from my parents to people I had never met. Society has a way of making us feel that there is a standard to keep. I always chafed at this idea but felt I had to conform. I was an organized, minimalistic, introverted type person living a cluttered, unordered, noisy life. Everyone had an opinion of how I should live and what I should have. Life was a schedule of long work hours, assorted “must have” devices, assorted “must do” activities, and “must have” contacts. I now soar unfettered. My world is now made up of the work I love to do, the devices that actually make my life easier, the activities I want to be involved in and the friends I enjoy being with. A good walk down the streets of my neighborhood is just as beneficial as an hour at the gym and it has no cost. I don’t have to have a sculptured figure and be able to participate in a triathlon. I don’t have to have a job that pays $100,000 but requires putting in 60 hour weeks with a 24/7 pager and a title. I can be happier with a $50,000 job that requires only 40 hour weeks, has no title, has no pager and doesn’t require me to sell my soul for the company. I don’t need the money so much if I learn to live within my means and I stop thinking I have to measure up to some mythical person.

I am no longer tied down to the expectations set by Martha Stewart or Oprah or “Good Housekeeping Magazine” or my mother or my friends. I can spend my evening quietly with a good book. I no longer find myself involved in an activity every night in order to keep up with the myth. I don’t have to scrapbook every day of my life, take pictures of everyone in attendance at an event, attend every event, maintain a blog, text and instant message, follow every blog about every interest, keep up with the news 24 hours a day, listen to the radio or music all day long, and on and on and on. I’m free to be me not you or you or you.

I used to have a to-do list that never seemed to end. For every item I completed two to three more would crop up. I still keep a few lists. I have a list of things I’d like to have done to the house when we have the money. I have a list of chores I need to complete. I have a list of things I would like to do sometime just for fun. But those lists are just lists. Life can often get in the way of lists. I’ve stopped letting it bug me. I don’t let them tie me down. I’m learning to welcome interruptions because I have learned interruptions can disguise Heaven sent opportunities I would have never thought of.

I’m enjoying being unfettered. Life is so much better.

Today’s Mini Mission

Declutter one vessel that can contain fluid ~ drinking glass, fish tank, bottle, jar…

Today’s Declutter Item

Here are another set of slide clamps, 12 inch ones this time, also sold on ebay. Not every mans garage has to be full of tools regardless of what society might think. I’m with you Deb J to heck with the “rules” we’re doing things our way.

12inch Slide Clamps

Eco Tip for the Day

Be very selective about what you buy so that you are so satisfied with the product that you will use it until it wears out and not trade it in for something else soon after.

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow