I received this comment from Anne last week…

I’ve been following your blog since September which was when I started to declutter my apartment. It’s a slow process with lots of decisions. I have several boxes of letters and greeting cards from friends and family dating back to 1970′s and I have no idea if I should keep them or not. Have you made a post of what to do with letters and greeting cards?

My reply was…

Hi Anne, letters and greeting cards are a tricky thing for some people. The short answer for me is keep the letters but weed through the greeting cards and only keep what is really significant to you. This is such a good question though that I think I will address it this week in a post so stay tuned.

Then I also received this related comment from Lesley who has been ploughing through the 365 archives…

I have the letter regret too. I had some old letters from a dear friend written about 18 years ago. Totally inconsequential stuff, nothing too deep or anything like that, mostly just written (years before email!) when arranging to next see each other. Very sadly he died this week far too young and I would give anything to be able to read those letters again. Just to be able to hear his humour in them one more time.
I need to go through my momento box at some point and will definitely be scanning stuff in before chucking anything else.

I have written before about how years ago I convinced my husband to throw away letters from a cousin that they had exchanged during their turbulent teenage years. When the cousin died in her early forties he regretted so much having parted with those letters. They would have been a great comfort to him at the time. We have however kept the letters we wrote to one another during our courtship days and from early in our marriage when we were separated at times due to my husbands work. Can’t say I ever pull them out and read them but I wouldn’t get rid of them.

Although it makes sense to scan and store letters digitally and dispose of the originals because they take up space there is just something special about having the originals that puts me off this idea. To have the original paper chosen by the author and their own ink and script is far more personal than to just have a digital copy. That being said if I had several boxes full that were a mix of insignificant scratchings and meaningful correspondence I would be inclined to scan them all but only keep those that I considered important to me.

When it comes to greeting cards I usually display them for about two weeks after the occasion for which they were celebrating. The only ones I keep intact are the ones from our children that usually contain a meaningful message that they have written themselves. Our daughter is particularly adept at writing just the perfect message while Liam is the comedian of the duo. From the other cards I then cut off any parts I can use to make my home made cards and throw the unusable segments into the recycling.

Our collection of meaningful communication would fit in a large shoe box and I consider that to be a small treasure that no amount of desire to minimise my belongings would make me part with.

If anyone out there has any suggestions and opinion on this topic please leave a comment in order to give a more rounded view on this subject.

Today’s declutter item

Things I am grateful for today

1. Getting through the house cleaning quickly.
2. Not getting too wet on our afternoon walk.
3. Accidentally finding something useful when looking for something else – on the internet of course by now I ought to know where everything is in my house without having to look.
4. Tom Yum Goong – I love this Thai hot and sour soup.
5. My friend Amber – She comes out with some funny stuff at times the rest of the time she is just a really nice person.
   

I received a comment from Willow on Day 365 which really got me thinking. Her comment read…

Congratulations, Colleen! Your perseverance has been an inspiration to me. What is the biggest, most important lesson you learned this past year?

And my response was…

Hi Willow,
it is really a combo of all the lessons but I suppose the biggest one was to stop shopping and don’t replace the stuff with something else. Hardly a thing has entered my house all year and what has replaced something old and worn, which wasn’t included in the 365 things because it was being replaced. Learning to let go of the bindings to things is key too. We hold on to things for all sorts of reasons and none of those reasons are good enough to make you live in a situation you no longer wish to tolerate.

My response could have been more long winded because there was so much going through my head at the time. Mostly the crazy reasons why we keep things when we know that not so deep down we would rather let them go. We wouldn’t have been considering decluttering them in the first place had we not become at least partly detached from them. My thoughts went kind of like this…

💡 If you don’t love it set it free – This one speaks for itself, if you are just tolerating certain stuff then you really need to consider why it is still in your home.

💡 If you love it let it show if you don’t then let it go – If it is worth keeping it is worth using or displaying so don’t hide it away somewhere that you can’t enjoy it properly and regularly.

💡 Do you have a bad relationship with your stuff – are you keeping certain stuff out or guilt, obligation or fear, that you would really rather part with. Like a boyfriend who you fell out of love with over time but you don’t seem to be able to end the relationship for fear of hurting his feelings or regretting the decision later on. Or Like that visitor that came for a short time but twelve months later is still sleeping on your sofa and you just can’t tell them to leave. Reasons for keeping stuff that come under this category might be…

• So and so gave it to me.
• It belonged to (insert loved one) who has now passed.
• I got it while I was on vacation in (Insert place).
• I might need it someday.
• The children may want it when they grow up.
• It’s been in our family for generations. (There is always another family member)

Sure there are going to be certain things that you will keep regardless of what your relationship with them are but they should be things of real importance or use to you. If you have a whole house full of these items you really have to question your decision making process. If you are miserable being surrounded by and shackled to your stuff then you need to get past whatever less important reason you are clinging on to it. Just imagine the freedom you could enjoy.

Today’s Declutter Item

This item used to hang in the kitchen of my grandmother’s house. It was there for as long as I remember. She and I shared our middle name and I gave my daughter the same name. The saint in the picture is where we got the name from so the picture came to me when my grandmother died. I don’t think it has ever adorned a wall in my house. Her name is not even spelled the same as ours. I have never had any real loving relationship with this item and I will always have my name tie with my grandmother so I don’t need this hidden in a box in my house any longer.

Things I am grateful for today

• Getting off my butt and framing some art that has needed doing for some time – Especially since they were items of Steve’s and it is his birthday today.
• Also finding the time and inclination to run some other errands I have been putting off.
  
• Refreshing afternoon showers.
• Enthusiasm – It sure makes doing otherwise unpleasant things a lot more tolerable.
• Know I don’t have to cook dinner tonight because we are going out with friends – I love birthdays even when they aren’t mine. 😉
  

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow.

I know I have written about this subject before but it is one of those issues that are worth revisiting every now and again. Especially for those struggling with it or who have only recently started reading my blog and don’t have the time or inclination to start at the beginning. I know I wouldn’t have that sort of time up my sleeve.

I think most people who read my blog would have a certain number of true sentimental items in their home. These items are often things like baby ID bands, a child’s old teddy, the glasses you toasted with at your wedding, Grandma’s engagement ring… We all have special things that we feel we will never part with. There is nothing wrong with keeping these items after all we are decluttering our homes and if these items are dear to us then they aren’t clutter.

However there is are another kind of  “sentimental” clutter that can pervade your homes. These are  items that we fear have more sentimental value to someone else and we are only keeping them to avoid feelings of guilt or betrayal. Or to avoid that awkward moment when the person who gave it to you notices it is gone. Sometimes this may be true but quite often it is a fear dreamed up in our own mind and the other person involved really wouldn’t care or even remember that they gave it to you in the first place.

Take a look around your home in fact grab a pen and make a list of the sentimental items in your home that you would rather not keep. I am sure you can probably list them all without even looking. These objects are often easy to identify. They are the items that you feel obliged to keep even though they have outlived their usefulness to you or perhaps in some cases never actually had any in the first place. They are usually items given to you as a gift, an heirloom that has been handed down through the family or something made for you by another well meaning person.

The good news is it is actually possible to part with these items with minimal damage to your relationship with the giver. I have managed to give away many such things over the last twelve months. And believe it or not I have not lost one loved one affection because of it. I have compiled a list of some of these items…

• A calendar holder my father made for me – It was very nice and I am sure another person would love to have it. It soon became apparent that it was not suitable for my needs because I couldn’t turn the pages with out taking it off the wall and pulling the calendar out. I am a person who likes to write my appointments on my calendar and this was just too difficult with this style of holder.
• A silver tea set my parents gave me for my 21st birthday – I just didn’t like to clean it and it only ever sat there looking pretty and was never used to serve tea.
• A crystal duchess set my sister gave me for my 21st birthday – It is a bit dated now and I haven’t used it for years.
• A wooded 21st birthday key plaque my Godfather made me – It has warped over the years of varied weather in the multitude of places we have live and would no longer hang straight on the wall.
• A granny rug made by my husbands grandmother which didn’t suit my decor.
• Wine glasses given to us at our wedding.
• A bead spinner my MIL gave me – I actually gave it back to her and she was happy to have it.
• Shot glasses that were my Grandmother’s – I gave them to a friend of the family who collects shot glasses.

I am sure there are many more things but I can’t think of them right now. Yes I did feel a little guilty parting with them and yes I had to give it some serious thought before doing so and yes all of the people involved still talk to me. No most of them wouldn’t even realise that the items are gone and if they do so they aren’t so rude to ask. And no I do not regret it because I should not have to keep something I don’t want in my own home.

So don’t be confused between sentimental value and obligation. If there is something in your home that you no longer and maybe never did want you have every right to remove it. Hand it on to someone else who will appreciate it more. In some cases that may mean handing an heirloom on to someone else within the family. In another case you may want to offer the item back to the person who gave it too you. Maybe you can sell the item or maybe donate it to charity. Either way you should not feel obliged to keep it there.

Item 364 of 365 less things

I think this cap confirms it, you can sell anything on eBay. It sold for $8, go figure!

5 Things I am grateful for today

1. Christmas is over for another year – That sounds a little negative but I am sure you all understand what I am saying.
2. To be home safe and sound from out road trip – This really is the most dangerous time of the year to travel.
3. One day to go – And I will have successfully completed my New Years resolution of decluttering 365 things.
4. Cool tiled floors on a hot day – They sure help keep the house at a comfortable temperature.
5. Being back in my own bed
   

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow.

I think it is time to play another round of…

Who has the weirdest item of clutter?

Back on Day 168 I asked – What is the strangest item among your clutter? – and I got some very interesting responses including Dog teeth and a ventriloquist dummy. Well after hearing a story from my Mother-in-law this week I think she may have you all beat before we even begin this round.

She has a small bottle containing a birth veil or caul from her grandmother dating back to 1884. According to Wise Geek a caul is a portion of the amniotic sac which clings to an infant as it is being born. As a result, the child is born either entirely or partially still inside the amniotic sac, which often forms a veil over the infant’s face.

According to Wikipedia – Over the course of European history, a legend developed suggesting that possession of a baby’s caul would give its bearer good luck and protect that person from death by drowning. Cauls were therefore highly prized by sailors. Medieval women often sold these cauls to sailors for large sums of money; a caul was regarded as a valuable talisman.

I don’t care if your story isn’t quite as odd as this I’m sure we would all like to hear it anyway. I will accept a story about someone else’s clutter that you may know of. You don’t have to consider the item as clutter either as it may be quite precious to you as are my children’s baby teeth and my mother-in-law’s caul. Really I just want a good laugh.

Actually my mother has the doll off the bridal car from when she was married 51 years ago. It is still wearing the underpants she made for it. She had written “No Peaking” on the underpants because she is just silly like that.

Ok now everyone don’t disappoint me get those stories in ASAP so we can all be amused.

Item 341 of 365 less things

Just another one of those items that we brought back from America that we should have.

5 Things I am grateful for today

1. Waking up and getting out of bed – I was having a string of bad dreams and I was glad to escape that.
2. Getting out of Liam’s neurologist appointment five minutes before it was even supposed to begin – we were half and hour early getting there which may have had a lot to do with it.
   
3. Finding the cushions I needed for on my family room sofa’s for only $6 each – Yes don’t die of shock I actually bought something. I have been wanting these for months now but I wasn’t going to settle for something I didn’t really like or that was expensive. I certainly achieved that I got 4 cushions for the price of less than one of the others I had seen. This is what happens when you don’t rush your purchases.
4. Our ebay auctions are out of the way for now.
5. Phone calls from friends and family – It’s nice to know people care.
   

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow.

I love to browse the antique shops just for the nostalgia that it evokes. I often see things there that remind me of my grandmother or things that bring back fond memories from my childhood. The beauty of these occasional visits is that I can enjoy the sensations for free and come home empty handed. I don’t need to own the stuff to enjoy it every now and again.

How many of us actually bring this stuff home or even make a hobby of it. There are a lot of collectors out there and an endless variety of things that can be collected. Some people do this because they enjoy the novelty/beauty/rarity of the items while others collect for the monetary value or more importantly the potential monetary value. Much as I love the idea of preserving these items for history’s sake, it does seem a shame when they are hidden away in private collections where very few people will ever view them.

We have a couple of collections in our home that serve to remind us of our shared enjoyment of baseball and art. Both collections have items we enjoy to look at and also considered to be investments. The trouble with investing in collectables is that sometimes you miss the window of opportunity to sell at it’s best price in your lifetime. Case in point are four Ichiro bobble head dolls that when released sold for up to a couple of hundred dollars each on ebay.  Granted we paid nothing for these dolls but now they are worth much less and taking up space in our garage along with a bunch of next to useless baseball cards and other ball park freebies.

Now I know you are thinking why not just get rid of them but to add to the problem they also hold a certain amount of sentimental value for some family members. There are also a box of band T-shirts belonging to my son and various other souvenir clothing items belonging to my husband that may or may not have monetary value but certainly have sentimental value. All these things are cluttering up space in the garage but they aren’t out of site and soon enough they will be dealt with during the 365 days.

I personally will never collect anything ever again, I have learned my lesson. Baseball card collecting is akin to gambling in my opinion and so too really is investing in collectables with the hope that they will appreciate in value. If you want to gamble like this buy shares and try your luck on the stock market at least this doesn’t clutter up your home.

Before I finished writing this post my husband pulled the boxes of baseball collectables out of the garage and at least condensed it down to a much small hoard. One more step taken to a minimal household and more garage space. I will be posting the photos as soon as he works out what he is doing with the rejects.

ITEM 313 OF 365 LESS THINGS

These paint cans were left over from Liam’s art class in high school. Graffiti really isn’t what a parent wants their teenage sons to learn in art class. Once used up he then kept the cans to make some sort of art installation but never got around to it. He gave me permission to get rid of them before he had his accident so out they go to be recycled.

5 Things I am grateful for today

1. Another fine day so we were able to take our morning walk.
2. Coffee with a friend.
3. Memories of reading to my children when they were young – My daughter and I were sorting through some old children’s books in order to declutter the ones that have no sentimental value.
4. My husband and daughter doing their part in the decluttering today.
5. Bridget doing a grocery run for me so I didn’t have to go myself.
   

Scrapbooking is a wonderful pastime, and I enjoyed it for many years. The problem is that by its very nature it causes an enormous amount of clutter. Supply clutter, tool clutter, souvenir clutter, photo clutter not to mention time clutter. I have rarely met a scrapbooker who can keep up to date with all the happenings in life that they wish to record thereby causing a backlog of all of the above mentioned items.

Remember earlier this week, on day 272, I decluttered an old Rick Steves’ travel guide that had been languishing in my bedside cupboard for three years. Close by that guide was also a zip lock baggy full of all the maps, tickets and brochures from that same trip. These items are the subject of today’s post.

As I said I used to be a scrapbooker. Along with the supplies, that I now don’t use regularly, which hold their own element of spending guilt, are the souvenirs that were so lovingly collected and hold far more sentimental attachment than the supplies. Even though I am fairly sure I am never going to return to the hobby, I clung on to these items for years, “just in case”. Well, now is the time to be realistic. I am at a very different stage in my life now and even though it is nice to look back on the scrapbooks I did make I am never going to get around to making any more. Even if I do there will be plenty of new memories that I will be able to document and it would be a mammoth task trying to catch up on the past.

This souvenir collecting has not only cluttered up my home for years, it also cluttered up my suitcase during the collecting in the first place. It was so nice on my recent vacation not to be weighed down with this kind of clutter. Therefore I am ready to part with the items in this zip lock bag and then next week I will start on the storage bin that holds items from other vacations, events and occasions that have likely been lingering even longer than these.

ITEM 275 OF 365 LESS THINGS

The items from the zip lock bag

5 things I am grateful for today

1. The off switch on the television – it is very had to concentrate on writing my blog with that thing blaring.
2. Not having to go out today – sometimes it is nice to stay in and veg out.
3. My husband is home again.
4. That freeing feeling – of purging clutter and the heavy ties it has on your soil.
5. A cozy knee rug on a cool day – spring isn’t sprung altogether.

There is one thing or actually a big group of things in my home that are looking down the barrel of being decluttered before the 365 days are up. The group in question are my old sports trophies. I have mentioned these before and still haven’t done anything about them but the day of reckoning is coming.

Trophies come under the same banner as souvenirs and little trinkets that serve no other purpose but to remind you of days gone by. They scream “look what I did”, “look where I’ve been” and maybe even the sad cry of  “I’m living in the past”. Personally unless your future appears dull and you aren’t likely to create any new achievements or live any new adventures do you really need to live in the past.

No matter what your age or circumstance you always have the ability to make new memories, achieve something new and possibly visit new places. My bad shoulder may have put an end to my softball and indoor cricket days but there are plenty of interesting things to do with my time like reaching out to a world of people with my blog to name just one.

Sure these old adventures and  achievements are worth remembering but they weren’t so dull that you need clutter to constantly remind you of those days. I know I don’t need my trophies to remind me of the good times I had with old friends and the individual set of talents I had that contributed to our sporting achievements. I will always remember those days and the great lessons learned from some wonderful coaches and mentors. I just don’t need to dust those memories every week.

I will however get my husband to photograph the trophies and I may even save the little plaques from the front of each of them but even then I expect I will rarely look back at those photos but they will be there just in case.

ITEM 243 OF 365 LESS THINGS

More of my husbands clothes that have gone to charity

Today I received an email from Barb who had a question about children’s’ art projects. Here is what she wrote…

How have you handled children’s art projects, etc. I have a whole box of them and just not sure what to do!!!!

My response was this…

I have made of point of revisiting my stash several times and been more ruthless with each visit. I am now considering digitising what is left and making a disc for each child. My son was quite prolific with writing “wild” stories when he first started school and they are a classic to read over and over again so I would never part with them but I don’t feel it is really necessary to have the original hard copy. I will ask their opinion on that before I destroy anything though.

This was a simple answer to the question and there is probably a lot more thought that could go into the subject. For instance, with all of the great on-line printing services we have access to these days wouldn’t it be nice to put together a book with their art work and school work samples. Even 3D objects could be photographed and added to the content. You could put it all in chronological order including their school photos from the corresponding years. Maybe even include sports photos and pictures of trophies or awards that they won along the way. You could choose to compile your own scrapbook rather than having it printed on-line if that is a craft you enjoy.

This is starting to sound like fun. If anyone has some more suggestions please send them in through the comments section and we will compile it all in a more comprehensive post for another day.

ITEM 238 OF 365 LESS THINGS

Braiding purchased for a special project that never happened.

In response to yesterdays post I received this comment from Deb J…

I don’t recommend white lies and they are still lies and can often come back to bite you. What I have done to take care of this is to say up front with people who are gift givers that I love receiving gifts but I am not sentimental about them. So if some point comes along when I no longer feel they suit my taste or have a purpose I may give them away of sell them. I think that most people who know me now know this about me. I don’t have to worry about being asked about something. I also try to make it clear to those I give to that I feel the same way as far as something I give them. I try to make sure that anything I give is something they want at the time but I also tell them that I know that over time we change and they don’t have to keep it forever and put it out when I come visit. It’s so freeing.

…that really got me thinking. I know Deb J is right that little white lies can come back to bite you but that in itself raises more questions about this topic.

• How often have we accepted these gifts politely when we really didn’t want them in the first place. That is a little white lie in itself?
• How often do we get so enamoured with the crafts that we do that we don’t even really consider whether those we are gifting will appreciate it. Are we just looking for an outlet for our creativity?
• How often does someone show proudly what they have created and we politely say that is lovely whether we mean it or not (another little white lie) and then find ourselves being gifted a similar item soon after? I am sure if my friend Liz reads this she will probably be thinking “Like all the jewellery you keep making for me”.

Some people are very aware of their intentions and happily give and receive these kinds of gifts making it known that there are no strings attached. Unfortunately not everyone foresees the dilemma they are creating for someone else by giving these gifts. That being said, I am not sure I can ever remember a time when someone flat out asked me “where is that such and such I gave you, I never see you use it?” So maybe we are just being over sensitive about this situation and really are better off just taking our chances that we will never find ourselves in that embarrassing position.

Please read all the comments from yesterday and today (if we get more) if you want to get the most out of this topic. I seem to have a lot of crafty readers who have some interesting opinions on this.

ITEM 235 OF 365 LESS THINGS

These old suit bags have been stored away in my camphor wood chest for about 10 years unused so out they go. Add those years to the tally and now we have 89.5 years in total.

I know this is going to be one of those posts that may evoke some interesting responses but I am going to have a go at it anyway. I think I have actually touched on this subject before and I am not sure exactly where I am going with it but today’s give away bought it to mind.

Some of the hardest and most guilt ridden things to declutter are items that were handmade with love just for you. Now these items are always given with the best of intentions but with the perceived added obligation of appreciating the time taken to make it for you in the first place.

I recently came across one of these items when decluttering my camphor wood chest. It is today’s declutter item so you can scroll down and take a look now if you wish. I made this for my husband about 20 years ago when he was really into motorbikes. Now I don’t think it has been on a wall in our home for at least 10 years but probably longer. In this case there was an easy solution to this problem because I was the one who made it for him and I was also the one to ask him if he was willing to let it go. This freed him of any obligation of being polite and trying not the hurt my feeling.

Unfortunately it isn’t always this easy. I know I have at least two other item lying idle in my home that fall into this category. One was made for me by my mother and one by my father. They were great at the time that I received them but I soon found they didn’t really suit my needs well. So I am just going to have to practice what I preach and add them to the donation box. If I am ever asked what happened to them I am either going to make up a story of some unfortunate event that caused their demise or admit I wasn’t using them and got rid of them. I am pretty sure which option I will go with because I really have no problem with using little white lies to protect peoples feelings.

Even this option is not too hard for me because lets face it my parents live 1000km away and rarely visit. So all I can say to anyone with this category of declutter item is be true to yourself and do what you must. Always remember though (I am speaking from personal experience here) that the person who made the gift got as much satisfaction out of accomplishing the task of making it as they did at giving it so their satisfaction has already been half fulfilled before your part was played.

Back on days 180 and 182 was when we touched on this subject.

ITEM 234 OF 365 LESS THINGS

With the decluttering of this item we can add 10 more years to our decluttered years tally making it 79.5 in total.