I received an email from Clare last week asking me is ebaying was worth the effort? I considered this question for a minute and came up with this thought “I guess if it wasn’t I would stop.” There must be enough of a pay off for me  to think it worth my while or I wouldn’t bother. 

Yes it is time consuming doing the listing, estimating the postage, finding packaging materials and then having to package up and post the items, but I have the time. Time that could be spent in far less productive ways such as watching reruns or reality shows on television. Sure I am disappointed at times when things don’t sell or they don’t sell for as much as I would have liked but for every disappointment there are at least five times where I am satisfied or more than satisfied.

When it all boils down to it, just because something takes a little effort doesn’t mean it is too much bother. I would prefer to just enjoy the positive outcome rather than dwell on how much effort something took in the first place. 

This all got me thinking about things in general being worth the effort. There are so many good things in life that require effort, marriage, raising children, preparing family meals, clean clothes to wear, keeping ones living environment pleasant none of which earn money but are well worth the effort. Personal satisfaction, comfort, the joy of a job well done and a happy family are the pay-offs and they are worth more than money can buy.

So when you think “Decluttering is such hard work mentally and or physically.” think again. What is the pay-off. The pay off is knowing you are working your way to having a serene space in which to live and what could be more worth it than that. So if you are spending more then ten minutes a day feeling miserable about the clutter in your home try turning that misery into a positive and spend those ten minutes finding something to declutter.

Today’s Mini Mission

Declutter something you have an alternate for. I am finally getting rid of that artificial ivy I have mentioned here before. I own a glass fish bowl that I now fill with pruned greenery from the garden. With Spring on the way there will be no shortage of options to display in it. Thank you to whichever 365er gave me this idea.

Today’s Declutter Item

The photo on the left is the artificial ivy plant mentioned above and several other times in my post and now finally is today’s declutter item. Hopefully my greenery arranging skills will improve over time but I already feel better about have a natural arrangement than an artificial one.

Something I Am Grateful For Today

That regardless of having doubts at times, all my activities fell into some sort of order today and everything got done. It was more good luck than good management, either that or this whole time management thing comes so naturally to me that I just thought it was a fluke. Yeh, I think I’ll take the credit. 😉

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Due to a system error yesterday that didn’t allow comments on this post I have chosen to repost it today in an attempt to fix the error and to give Moni the joy of responding to your thoughts on the subject.

We’ve all said it. “I’ll keep it just in case I need it again”. That moment of hesitation where our de-cluttering confidence wanes and doubt creeps in and prevents us from parting with something that serves no functional purpose.

Recently fellow 365’er Dizzy pushed me in the direction of a book called “Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui” by Karen Kingston, I bought it as an e-book as it was only $8.00 as it was not available in my local library. Karen talks about the reasons people hang onto clutter in chapter six and “Just in case” was especially interesting for me as it might as well be the family motto for many of my relatives.

Karen feels that keeping things ‘just in case’ indicates a lack of trust in the future.

We’re not talking about the necessities of life here, or something that has a high chance of re-use or an upcoming specific purpose – we’re talking about items where the words ‘might’, ‘maybe’, ‘possibly’ apply or where the scenarios or people are imaginary. They may even have names such as ‘someone’ or ‘somebody’ and the time frame for their use is usually ‘sometime’. My husband recently wanted to keep our Lego for our grandchildren. We have no grandchildren. They are imaginary people born to adult versions of our currently teenage children. What is reality is that we have a young nephew who will get hours of fun out of the lego now. I recently heard from a friend that “someone might want to use it someday” and although I gently pointed out that no one wanted it today, he couldn’t comprehend the idea. You can’t win them all.

Karen goes on to talk about how people worry that they will need something after it has been moved on, then sure enough, very soon afterwards, your subconscious mind will create a situation where you “need” that very thing, however obscure it may be. In actual fact you could have averted this need by thinking differently. This was very interesting to me as I have a friend whose work centers around the subconscious mind, and she has told me that our subconscious takes everything that comes out of own mouths, quite literally. Getting back to Karen’s perspective on this topic, it may on the surface sound like a good thing, something may get re-used, however, the 200 other items stashed in the household will not, and it encourages future hoarding. Most importantly it reinforces a frequency of not trusting, vulnerability and insecurity about your own future.

A light bulb moment for me recently was a 365er comment, I’m so sorry I can’t recall who – but please put your hand up and take a bow – that the things we get hung up on getting rid of, generally are worth less than $20. This is so true. The only item that I regret getting rid of in the last year is a ring binder, and when I say regret, it was more of a ‘damn’ moment, not sorrow. Only because 9 months afterwards, my daughter broke the mechanism on hers. Would it have been worth hanging onto the 10 or so empty ring binders just in case we needed one? It cost less than $5 to remedy and it was one less box hanging around my garage floor. Having clear space in my garage is certainly worth the $5 to me, it actually feels like a thousand bucks!

After reading Karen’s comments, I came to another realisation, over the last few months – obviously I have grown more confident in my de-cluttering – but I have developed this little ritual when I am umming and ahhhing over something where I say to myself “you know you won’t even miss it when its gone” – and guess what? I never do, in fact I can’t even bring to mind the items I said this about. Whether it is me programming my subconscious to not miss it, or very simply out of sight, out of mind, it doesn’t matter it is all a step towards this clutter free home I really want to live in.

Apparently the key to finding out if something is a “just in case” is to not worry about possibly needing it in the future…..find out! Get rid of it and see if you actually ever miss it.

What “just in case” item are you prepared to let go of?

Today’s Mini Mission

Declutter items accumulating in or on the bedside tables.

Today’s Declutter Item

This little items had got lost amount some boxes in the garage. I found it while doing one of my periodical reshuffles  out there. After a quick double check with my husband, since it was something he owned before we were married ~ yes that long ~ it got moved to the donation box.

Framed Decor Item

Something I Am Grateful For Today

Trying a new recipe. Even though it didn’t live up to my expectations I was just glad to be adventurous enough to try. A few tweaks should make it better next time.

Happy 4th of July to all my American readers. I hope the weather is fine, the company is congenial, the food is good and the firework are brilliant.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

A Book Review of The Power of Habit

by Charles Duhigg 

Cindy

What a fantastic book: so well researched, so easy to understand, so very interesting. Duhigg shows over and over again that most of what we do is habitual and that habits can be changed and manipulated – by ourselves and by others.

My mother should be happy. This book validates her often-said phrase “When you do things outside the norm, that’s when they go wrong.” My Mom’s not a pessimist or a stick in the mud; what she’s saying is that when you lock your keys in the car, forget your purse, leave the burner turned on, or drive to the store without your grocery list, it’s probably because you approached these routine events outside of the format of your usual routine. Without your habits in place to guide you, you actually have to think about actions you usually don’t think about, and they can go terribly wrong. My Mom and Duhigg are in agreement! In fact, Duhigg claims that 40% of what we do daily is habitual.

One of the chapters that I found most enlightening - and disturbing – reported research using brain scanning to test the lingering power of habits. What researchers found was that even if you have overcome a bad habit (say cluttering the coffee table when you arrive home from work or overeating), the neural pathways for cluttering that table never go away. They are always present in the brain, and that’s why it’s so easy – with the right (wrong!) cues – to fall away from our good habits back to our bad. However, I consoled myself that the opposite must also be true:  Somewhere inside my brain there’s still a neural pathway for running 3 or 4 times a week. I just haven’t seen that pathway in a decade or so!

The first part of the book, the section on personal habit development, is the most relevant to our decluttering efforts. What Duhigg explains repeatedly is that habits consist of three parts: The cue (time of day, arrival into the house, presence of certain people, etc.), the routine (which is the habit), and the reward. Duhigg says the reward the most important part of the cycle because habits form when we like the reward. Habits can only be changed, he says, by changing one of these three inputs – usually the routine. I highly recommend that you watch his video here. It’s only about 3 minutes long and explains how he analyzed and changed his habit of eating a cookies every afternoon and lost a dozen pounds as a result of his success.

The other two portions of the book talk about the habits of organizations and the habits of society. There’s some very interesting stuff here, and if you don’t start using cash at Target after reading about their focused marketing, I’ll be mighty surprised. Target knows that during life disruptions (birth of a child, divorce or marriage, move), people change their shopping habits, often without realizing it, and Target does their very best to know – as soon as you do – if any of these life changes are taking place in your household.

Changing from a lifestyle where you continually buy too much, where you never purge, or where you leave things out all over the place are all habits. They’re habits that need changing, and especially if you’re having trouble making changes, this book and some experimentation might really benefit you.

Highly recommended reading.

Today’s Mini Mission

Declutter objects accumulating in the third drawer down in any room ~ kitchen, office desk, bathroom cabinet… It is a strange phenomenon that the third drawer is often the receptacle for clutter.

Today’s Declutter Item

These little plastic lidded cups and storage box used to contain beads in my craft area. They gravitated to the third drawer down when I reduced my stocks and were no longer needed. During the great craft room declutter of June 2012 they were relegated to the donation box. They have since been sold at the thrift store.

Ex Craft Storage Items

Something to be grateful for today

Soaking up the sun on my back patio while being visited by the neighbours cat.

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

Cindy

As I’ve told you (probably countless times), we remodeled our house, and the last of the workmen pulled away two years ago in July. There were a lot of smaller jobs and some very large painting jobs that needed to be completed, but the house itself was done. Two years have passed, and I still have a half dozen paintings, including a couple of pieces of expensively framed limited edition pieces, that have not been hung. About every three months, I get into the closet where they’re stored and vow that today is the day that I’ll finish figuring it out. And every time I end up feeling anxious, itchy, uncertain, overwhelmed, unsure, and I shove it all back in the closet and gratefully slam the door behind me.

What’s behind this great difficulty? It’s hard to say exactly, but I attribute it to several causes:

• Sentimentality, part 1 – I’ve always hung this piece, so I should hang it again.
• Sentimentality, part 2 - Some of it is the children’s art that’s framed and won’t their feelings be hurt if I don’t hang it again (or worse, get rid of it)?
• Gift – A couple of pieces were gifts. (Do not give gifts of art, unless you’re the artist. Even then, it’s questionable.) Will the gift-givers, my in-laws, or my husband be offended or hurt if one of them disappears?
• Expense – Once the cost of framing is included, I probably have a thousand dollars worth of art that’s unhung. I must get my money’s worth by hanging it again.
• Uncertainty about what else to do with it – There some good stuff here and some expensive stuff. How should I sell it / give it away / donate it? I paid good money for it and want someone else to appreciate it.
• Maybe I can make it work – A different frame? A different mat? Maybe I can make it work.
• Certainty that I still like the piece – Self-explanatory, I guess.

But here are my counter-arguments:

• Sentimentality, part 1 – Just because I’ve done it before doesn’t mean I have to do it again.
• Sentimentality, part 2 – One child is sentimental; the other one is not at all. Offer it to her for her room, or take it out of the frame, recycle the frame, and keep the art with her other pieces.
• Gift – Often a tricky area. I no longer think my in-laws would notice. Frankly, my husband probably wouldn’t either because he probably doesn’t really notice what’s on the walls. I could ask him. Or not. Something to ponder further.
• Expense – We’ve all had this hang up. We paid a lot of money, and even though we no longer value the item, we hate to waste our money and perversely feel that someone else should value something as much as we no longer do. (That thought is so twisted that it’s hard to write it in a sentence that makes sense.) Personalized art is a lot like a 10 year old computer. It may still be very nice, but it doesn’t have the same value on the open market.
• Uncertainty about what else to do with it – I know all the local resources, but if I feel stuck, I can seek help from others.
• Maybe I can make it work – This is like valuing a broken vacuum cleaner that you just know will be fantastic – and such a bargain – once you fix it up, but you never have. But it’s also like that saying, “Throwing good money after bad.” If I’ve lost my attachment to the art, a costly new frame probably isn’t going to solve the problem.
• Certainty that I still like the piece – Clearly this is self-deception. If I really liked the piece, it would be up on the wall. After all, I have a lot of hanging art. My walls are not bare, and these pieces repeatedly have not made the cut.

So what did I do? I contacted a woman I know who works for a charity that has an annual garage sale – by far the biggest and best garage sale held in the city. There was a tickle in the back of my mind, which she confirmed, that they have a “designer” section, and they’re grateful to know the original purchase price of more unique items. The three most expensive pieces went with her, my mother was interested in two (she just remodeled her house so they may or may not work, but she put them in her mix to try), and three of the more generic (also known as “having wide appeal”) pieces were listed on Craigslist, which come to think about it, is where they came from to begin with. Anything that doesn’t sell on Craigslist will also go to the garage sale charity. Eight pieces finally dealt with. I cannot tell you how good that feels!

Today’s Mini Mission

Declutter a guilt item ~ Don’t feel obliged to keep something just because you shouldn’t have wasted the money on it in the first place. Try to sell it to recoup some money or just find a way to pass it on. Forgive yourself and move on.

Today’s Declutter Item

I don’t have a guilt item to declutter today in fact I don’t think I have any guilt items left. I hope so anyway. I have however finally decluttered all the cookbooks I am willing to let go of. The only ones left are my self made one with all my mum’s old recipes and the favourites I have discovered over the years and a Jamie Oliver one that has several favourites in it. My daughter bought it for my birthday one year so if I decide to decluttering it I will offer it back to her.

More Cookbooks

Something to be grateful for today

 The third fine day in a row, just when I really needed to get the washing done. Yay!

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

Cindy

First of all, this story has a happy ending, although it sure didn’t look like it would when it all began.

A few months ago, a dear friend of mine was in a very dark place and disappeared. Literally gone. You can image what my husband and I feared. My friend has no close relatives and no spouse; I am the executor of his estate. I felt a lot of emotions during this time, and one of them was outrage: “How DARE you go off and leave me with all this sh*t to take care of! How dare you not clean up your own mess before you dumped it in my lap!” You see, my friend is a bit of a collector (perhaps even a bit of a hoarder) and his mother, who hung onto to everything she ever purchased, large and small, had died the previous year. He had all of his stuff and all of hers too, all undealt with. I couldn’t believe that in addition to dumping a giant emotional burden on me and my family, he’d also left me with a huge mess: a house that couldn’t be sold because of unfinished remodeling projects; an oversized garage was full of his and his mother’s stuff; a bedrooms serving as a storage room. I was furious (and heartbroken, and scared, and determined to find him, and a mash of every other emotion you can image).

The best news is: We found him and in the subsequent several months, he’s doing so much better. It’s truly a gift from God.

What lessons did I learn from this dreadful experience, and how does it relate to decluttering?

1. Organize your personal papers. What if, God forbid, the worst occurs and you die unexpectedly? Do your loved ones, who are already shaken by your death, know how to access your accounts? Do they even know where you bank? Can they access your email account? Could they cancel your movie rental subscription, magazines, and price club membership? Or are they going to be stuck guessing?

2. Make sure the you have a current will, power of attorney, and medical directive. (At least in the U.S.) I am not kin to my friend, and it clearly could have created a problem for me. This is so important for everyone, but especially, especially important to those who are single. There are will maker programs available, which I cannot endorse, but the power of attorney and medical directive are simply fill-in forms. They vary slightly from state to state, so search for them on the computer.

3. Finish one project before you start two more. People aren’t nearly as good as multitasking as they thing they are, and multitasking your life – in a big way – isn’t any more successful. Finish one project before you begin another. Don’t start painting the living room and removing the trim in the bedroom at the same time. Don’t have two quilting projects going at once. Finish one thing then move onto the next, or you may leave behind a troublesome trail of partially completed projects.

4. Clean up your own mess. We’ve all read comments on this site about people who were thrown into a giant mess left behind at the death of a relative. Sometimes no one knew Aunt Bessie was a hoarder, and the family has one weekend to clean out the house and put it up for sale. One of my employees told me about leaving her mothers’ dishes boxed up and in the trash pile because she wasn’t able to cart them away during the mad cleaning weekend. If you don’t want to deal with your junk, just think how much someone else doesn’t want to deal with it either. If you’re keeping your belongings because you really want to make sure they go to just the right owner, let me tell you, when you’re gone, they’re going wherever they land, so if it’s really important to you, take care of it now, while you can. Don’t feel overwhelmed. You can do this, one day at a time, 365 days a year.

5. If you’re struggling with poor mental health, don’t be afraid to tell others. God put us here to help one other.

Today’s Mini Mission

Perhaps what is stuck on the front of your fridge also spills over to the sides. Time to clear that off as well.

Today’s Declutter Item

We have no use for these chains, not that I can remember a time that we did. They have been loitering in the garage since out return from America and we in storage for 7 years while we were there. If we haven’t used them yet I dare say we never will so they will be donated like so many other things.

A little garage clutter

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Cindy

Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

Dirty Secret: A Daughter Comes Clean About Her Mother’s Compulsive Hoarding by Jessie Sholl

I’ll confess, it’s a bit difficult to say that I loved a book about someone’s painful life struggle, but I really did love this book. It’s beautifully written, easy to read, and the author cleverly interlaces story telling and factual information about hoarding.

The author, Jessie Sholl, lived with a mother who was initially a pack rat and who became a full-fledged hoarder after the death of her long-term boyfriend. But as Ms. Sholl makes clear, hoarding is just one symptom of a larger picture of poor mental health. Her mother isn’t just a hoarder and otherwise completely healthy and normal; not did she have great mental health prior to her boyfriend’s death. You only have to watch the show Hoarders one time to realize that the issue is way more than “For Heaven’s sake, clean up your junk.” Ms. Sholl’s mother is abusive, loving, capricious, unreliable, self-centered, indecisive, cruel, and generous, all at the same time.

At times, Ms. Sholl seems as stuck in her own efforts to break her mother from hoarding as her mother is stuck in continuing to hoard. Both repeatedly take their assigned role in this particular unproductive dance of push and push back. Unfortunately for her, Ms. Sholl tries repeatedly to clean and declutter her mother’s entire house in a major, exhausting effort, in the blind hope that once it’s clean, her mother will be able to maintain the house. Of course, just throwing away everything you can lay your hands on and scrubbing everything else with bleach does not solve any of the underlying issues.

Ms. Sholl final frees herself by 1) refusing to take her part in the dance any longer and 2) admitting to others that her mother is a hoarder and a woman with many mental health issues. In some ways, this very last section of the book is my favorite. I was a mental health counselor for many years, and one of my biggest beliefs if that you are never alone. No matter how crazy, how weird, how embarrassing your secret is, if you will let it out, you will quickly find that it is a secret shared by many, many of the people around you. In fact, Ms. Sholl eventually discovers that two of her friends have mothers who hoard. They could have been supporting each other all along, if they had been able to overcome their shame and let their secret out. I’m glad Ms. Sholl finally did let her secret out and shared with all of us, as well.

Today’s Mini Mission

Declutter something you have kept for sentimental reasons.

Today’s Declutter Item

I bought this bracelet for my mother some time ago at an antique store in Seattle of all places but due to a problem in her arm she can not wear it so she gave it back to me. I had no desire to keep it so I sold it on ebay. I hope the new owner will enjoy and appreciate it. Australian Stirling Coin Bracelet.

Australian Stirling Coin Bracelet

Something I Am Grateful For Today

Catching lots of green lights when I was out and about today.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

First read this comment by Jane from last week in response to Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom ~ Mental Clutter

It is interesting how one simple transfer of focus can make such a big difference to someone’s life. Think about it for a minute ~ Jane has transferred her focus from avoiding unpleasant tasks to finding a reason to cross something off her to do list. She naturally got no joy from knowing there were unpleasant tasks awaiting to be done but she gets a great deal of pleasure eliminating things from her to do list. The pleasure can not be achieved without the task being done. Nothing has become more pleasant about the task she has simply found yourself a reward system. As minimal as the reward is it is still something to strive for.

I deploy a similar strategy for the items or categories that I find the most difficult to declutter.  In my craft room I have changed my focus from “I might want this one day” to the pleasure I get from eliminating one more storage item or piece of furniture from my craft space. This helps me to be far more ruthless with the culling process.

Being a very organised person I used to find it difficult to part with storage containers once I had emptied them of the clutter. Now I focus on the fact that if they aren’t around I can’t fill them back up again. I also focus on the square footage they no longer take up in my house.

Moni had this little snippet in one of her comments yesterday that fitted so well with this post I just had to include it:~

“I sew costumes for a ballet school – that is the ultimate generator of STUFF. But I enjoy it because it is very satisfying making something pretty or glamorous. And it is very hard to part with the left overs because we feel an emotional connection/affection to our projects because of the effort and skill and love we have put into the final product. Have since learnt that Kindergartens LOVE left over craft stuff. I find that if I feel left overs and surplus stuff is going to “a good home”, I don’t feel so bad about letting it go.”

So don’t focus on the size of the task or the “what ifs” or the “I might need this someday” just focus on the good feelings you get when…

• the space is liberated…
• when the obligation is lifted…
• when the aspiration has been expelled…
• when the guilt is no longer in your face…
• when you clean your home and it takes less effort to get a good result…
• when you no longer crave a shopping fix…
• when you can invite people to your home and not feel embarrassed…

You wouldn’t be decluttering if your overriding desire wasn’t to get your home in order. And you must be serious about it or you wouldn’t be visiting my blog. So do yourself a favour and change your focus to the positive side of decluttering. After all it really doesn’t take much effort to declutter one thing day knowing that the reward at the end is so worth it.

Today’s Declutter Item

This A3 drawing board, otherwise known as aspirational clutter or unwise purchase, has possibly more than recouped the lose made in the initial transaction. I sold it on eBay recently for $61. Being as we bought in in the US at Michaels with I imagine a 40% off coupon it may well have netted us a profit.

A3 Drawing Board

Something I Am Grateful For Today

My friend Amber who drove me to and from the thrift store today during the torrential downpours that is our crazy weather this year.

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

Cindy

A book, and its identical twin sister, have been both a clutter and a shame over the past half decade. When I purchased the pair, probably for a premium, since they came from a pricey, wooden-and-organic on-line toy store,  I thought they were pure genius, and I was a genius too. “Pocketful of Memories Book”: oversized pocket folders, one for each school year kindergarten through eighth, with room to fill in fun information such as “my autograph,” “my pets,” “my favorite places to visit.” How fun! How Simple! How never really used!

It seemed like a no-fail system. My idea was throughout the year, I would tuck special papers and report cards in the folder, tape the school picture to the front, and at the beginning of summer break, the girls could fill in the information. Clara did it a few times; Audra never did, and I stopped even trying when Clara whined that she didn’t really like filling in the little form, which must have been in third grade. She’s now in sixth.

Every time I tossed a picture, special paper, or a report card in a girl’s “memory drawer” (just the bottom two drawers of my scrapbooking supply tower), I would think, “I really should be putting this into that cute little book I bought,” and I would feel a bit ashamed and embarrassed at my own lack of follow through. Well, let me tell you, that’s heck of a lot of recrimination for two little memory books. As I used to say when I was a therapist, “Stop shoulding on yourself!”

I’ve decided enough is enough, and I am decluttering these things. Right now in fact. (A pause in writing while I got get the book and tear out the pages for recycling.) Wow! That felt good! Good bye burden, good-bye guilt! Good-bye “Pocketful of Memories Book.” Maybe you were a good idea, but not for me.

What do you have hanging around your house that causes feelings a shame, guilt or remorse – an incomplete project? memories from a person who’s no longer in your life? evidence of money ill spent?  Isn’t it time you got rid of that too?

Today’s Declutter Item

I don’t have any hats to declutter but I do have head related clutter. a hairband and two hair clips that never get used but kept just in case. Well I don’t have room for just in case so out they go to the thrift store.

Hair accessories

Something to be grateful for today

Cashing in a Christmas gift certificate. Sitting back and enjoying a pedicure was how I spent a little of my afternoon. I really should do that more often.

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

Cindy

I was surveying a newly installed fence and gate – my own – and I suddenly thought of Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project. Unfortunately for us, I don’t own her book, so I can’t mine it for an appropriate quote, but one of the keys to happiness that she extols is getting things done and off your to-do list. Make a mammogram appointment, write a thank you letter, update your resume, get your fence fixed. Taking something off your to-do list automatically makes you feel happier. I know it did me.

The sad saga of the fence goes like this: In September 2009, as a birthday surprise for my husband, I had a pretty brick fence built while he was on a week-long business trip. We already had a custom-made iron gate that matched the other ironwork on the house. Wouldn’t Dan be pleased and delighted to come home and find a beautiful little fence with the gate neatly hung? Well, he would have been, if the gate had fit. Even though it was on-site while the fence was being built, the opening was not made large enough. The gate did not fit. I dealt with the brick masons over and over. A contractor who frequently hired them intervened on my behalf. A year passed…nothing. In the meantime, we threw some junky stuff – plywood, trash cans, etc. – in front the opening to keep the dogs in. Attractive, no? No. And certainly not what I had in mind. I stewed, I fussed, I forgot about it for months at a time, but always the need to do something about it niggled at the back of my mind.

So today, two years and five months later, the fence has been rebuilt and the gate installed.

You may notice that there is still plywood behind the gate. That’s because the latching mechanism was not installed. The gate swings both ways and certainly won’t keep the dogs inside. But I can assure you that it will take less than two weeks, not more than two years, to get this job complete.

Good for me but what does this have to do with decluttering? Mental clutter! What is on your mind that’s holding you back? What chores and to-dos on the long-term list are hanging around, month after month, year after year, sapping your energy and keeping you from feeling as fully successful as you should feel?

I know that I feel so charge up from the check! on my to-do list that I’m going to tackle the gutters that keep overflowing every time it rains next. Imagine how good I’ll feel then!

What long-term burdens are you dragging around that you can declutter, and what’s your plan of action?

Today’s Declutter Item

These two ball gowns are an example of metal clutter to me. Not only are they physical clutter but I have procrastinated over getting rid of them for some time. The purple dress was made for my by my mother used once and never worn again. The other was a bargain but the glitter fabric was so rough on my underarms and was never worn. One languished because of the sentiment attached the other because of the wasted cash and it would have done in an emergency. I am just glad they are both gone now. They sold very quickly at the thrift shop.

A long awaited declutter task

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

Cindy

Are you hanging on to old boyfriend /old  girlfriend / ex-wife / ex-husband clutter? Breakin’ up is hard to do, and breaking’ up with the ex’s stuff can be even harder.

Some of the things you may have that remind you of him or her:

• fancy underclothes
• photos
• greeting cards and letters
• jewelry
• vacation souvenirs
• music (what do they call mix-tapes in the days of CDs and iTunes?)
• toiletries
• food that he/she preferred
• debt from outings or vacation that you took together or from his/her bad spending habits.
• a phone or texting bill that went way over your minutes
• a hobby you no longer enjoy

I once bought a card that said, “Your ex is like Thanksgiving leftovers. You’re better off when the turkey’s gone.” The same with the stuff that is physically or emotionally burdening you. When you encounter one of these emotional triggers, it may cause feelings of embarrassment, shame, longing or regret. Those are all emotions you don’t need in your life. As hard as it is, you need to tackle those things scattered throughout your home that cause disturbing feelings and firmly invite them to live somewhere else. If you have a whole box of items – or more than one box – that causes you to swerve away from it like a bag full of stink every time you get near, then throw the whole thing away without opening it, or get a friend to help you make your way through*. Negative emotional baggage is clutter that none of us need, and if it’s physically in your home as a reminder of true love gone wrong, it needs to go. The sooner, the better.

* “A bag full of stink” was my husband’s contribution to this post. I thought it exactly captured what I meant to say. Thanks Hon.

Today’s Declutter Item

I am finally getting to the bottom of the Snoopy clutter. I figured these are never going to sell on ebay and sent them packing to the thrift store. Goodbye McDonald’s toy clutter.

Snoopy Snoopy and more Snoopy

Something I Am Grateful For Today

This message that my daughter posted on facebook on the weekend. She is extremely gifted in writing lovely heartfelt messages. All true of course. 😉

Not a single woman in the world could ever hope to be as incredible as my beautiful mum! I could only hope to be half the woman she is. I love you mum! Happy birthday!!!

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow