How decluttering can improve your finances ~ by deanna ar USA

With contributions from her husband Randy

The last few years hubby and I have noticed an improvement in our finances because we were purchasing less, in order not to add items to our home, when we were in fact working to declutter it. It was easy to see that I had not  shopped Coldwater Creek (my favorite) in a couple of years. In fact I had not been compelled to shop anywhere because so many items were decluttered that we hadn’t needed anyway, i.e. household items, hubby’s hobby items, tools, etc. About the only place I was shopping was thrift shops and, of course, grocery stores. I’m still learning what clutter is.

We didn’t set out to actually focus our decluttering skills on finances, but we were aware that we wanted to reduce expenses. We had talked about it often but didn’t really take enough action. I do think that having been actively decluttering for awhile and learning to release things, it was easier to release some things in our financial world too…like DirecTV (subscribing to Netflix and Hulu instead)…over $100 savings monthly. We’re now hoping  to reduce homeowners and auto insurance. We’re going back to a mail order pharmacy, it’s much cheaper. Our prescriptions are all generic now. We’ve also reduced the number of times we eat out each week. And we generally drink wine only at home now, except for special occasions. We’re in the midst of these changes now, so we’re eager to see how much this is going to affect us monthly. Last month was great! But we are finding that, like most decluttering, this too is a process.

I was not raised to declutter. My mother saved everything. Even though I did it in spurts, I never considered that it was ok to let some things go. However, I’ve been decluttering clothes (mine and hubby’s) for several years. But we traveled halftime for hubby’s work so, not being home much, I just couldn’t get started on decluttering the house. It helped that I had been reading several minimalist blogs regularly. I already knew that if I wanted to clean out my closet, then I could read my favorite style blog to get motivated. When I found Colleen’s blog and started reading it, it quickly became my favorite. I was so taken with her style and how active many of the readers were. So I started reading her archives and learned a lot of things I’d never considered before and became so very motivated to get rid of stuff I wasn’t using or didn’t love (even when it involved finances and entertainment).

These are a few of the things that have helped along the way:

1. Natural progression…the more you declutter, the more you want to declutter.

2. It’s ok to destroy pictures (or pass them along to relatives), especially duplicates, unflattering pictures, people you don’t know…

3. I thought some things were off limits. But what about those who lose everything in floods, tornadoes, etc…instant decluttering!

4. I thought I knew myself well, but after reading about fantasy selves, I’m now questioning what part is fantasy and what part is the real me.

5. Decluttering is addictive, so is shopping.

6. Reducing finances is also decluttering. What an “aha” moment that was.

7. It’s ok to return a gift(s) that you no longer use, need or want. And it can sometimes be done without hurting anyone’s feelings, especially if you’re forthright about it. Or…you can regift.

8. I have decluttered things recently that I would never have considered before…like my baton, my mandolin, some favorite clothes that I no longer wore, and on and on.

9. The less “stuff” you have, the fewer decisions you have to make. I love that. When I’m decluttering, one criteria I use is, “Do I really want to have to make this decision again at a later date?”

10. The more careful I am with my criteria, the more hubby is willing to trust me…that I will not declutter his stuff without asking. And he’s been decluttering more on his own. Hurray!

#9 is my favorite. It’s amazing how excited and happy decluttering can make you, giving you that sense of freedom from stuff.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

So, it is 10:09am and I have just sat down to have my midmorning coffee. And as per usual I’m comfy on the sofa with my laptop in front of me about to open Facebook and have a game of Cookie Jam. Yes I know, “What a waste of time!”. However downtime is downtime and we are all entitled to that. A little mindless activity to while away your relaxation time is totally acceptable in my book.

The other thing I do during my downtime is browse Pinterest for craft ideas. Oh, how I can waste hours on that. But it more often than not inspires me to jump up and get creating soon enough.

All that being said, and the reason for today’s post is, that one of my readers, Sally, sent a email last week asking me to write a post about alternative downtime activities to avoid resorting to online shopping.

A harmless game that doesn’t cost a cent and in no way clutters up your home is one thing. Cruising the internet for creative inspiration another, but online shopping, that is a whole other kettle of fish. Sometimes very costly and cluttery fish at that. Especially costly if indulged in by people who can ill afford to be wasting their hard earned cash or who already has a cluttered home.

Now don’t worry, I am not going to suggest that you could spend your downtime decluttering, because to most people that would come under the category of work. And even I am not that keen to declutter. Although I have been known to enjoy it enough to consider it downtime in itself, but would still not list it as a downtime activity.

Anyhow, I have stated my two downtime pointless indulgences but I am sure there are many more. For example…

• Reading
• Knitting or other easily portable craft
• Catching up with friends on Facebook.
• Meditating
• Watch some inspiring YouTube videos ~ Ted Talks or similar.
• Browse recipes online for later inspiration when organising a weekly menu plan or to get out of that ‘same old same old” cooking rut. (I should take my old advice here.)

…just to name a few. Also I googled ‘Alternative activities to avoid online shopping’ and found this little gem…

www.365lessthings.com – Day-157-alternatives-to-shopping

And also this one

How to Program Your Mind to Stop Buying Crap You Don’t Need

I confess I have been known to browse and buy from both old school craft stores and online ones as well, but for the most part, when it comes to shopping of any sort, just thinking about where I would fit an item and how much stuff I already own is enough to put me off buying things.

So does anyone else have some downtime activities that helps them relax that doesn’t involve online shopping. Why not share your experience in the comments.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

I am a mother. I have two small children and, as all mothers will agree, I have been constantly aware how much our kids are brainwashed to want stuff. It is hard that even in school they do that. Recently there was a book fair at my son’s school. At the present moment we are really short of cash for extras so there is no money for spares.  And I am a big FAN of books so I don’t usually question buying a book! Anyway, along comes my 4 year old son (who can’t read) with two little slips of paper saying that he wants two books, for the “lovely” bargain of US$50. Just so you have an idea of how expensive that is here, I can buy around 6kg of red meat (prime) for a whole month with that sort of money. And if I go for white meat I can buy even more!

So, I tell him, no I am not buying any books. The next day, before he goes to school, he looks at me and demands money because they told him he could buy a book and he just had to ask me for the money. You don’t explain to a 4 year old the intrinsic ties of selling and how salespeople are really there to make you buy stuff. You just tell them: No, I have no money for books now. And that is that. 

Our children have to learn that not everything in TV is for real and that they don’t  NEED every single item they WANT. I have cable TV and they watch cartoons and there is a constant flow of advertising. From toys to cleaning products the commercial breaks are filled with advertisings of every conceivable toy on earth and all the must haves for children. My kids have a lot of toys. I have them under control now, but I always dread Christmas because it seems like a tsunami of new things will hit my house. I try to keep things under control, but grandparents and aunts and godmothers are hard to control…lol. However as I work from home I am constantly asked: Mom, can I have that? Mom, can you buy that for Christmas? Mom, I really liked that one… And so on. 

I have learned that we have to say no. Every time they ask me for a toy/plaything/whatever, I always ask them if they don’t have enough. Or what do they wish to donate to someone who has nothing, so they can have a new toy. That also teaches them the value of donation. It is inevitable that new toys will come, so the old have to go. We and they know that there are toys that are overlooked for a time and are not played with anymore. But I digress.

I always tell my children that advertisers mislead you because they want you to buy what they are selling. I was once watching a car commercial with my 6 year old and he asked me if everyone was happy because of the car, because it was a better car than ours (it actually was way better, but a lot more expensive). So I explained to him that a car, no matter how shiny or beautiful can not make a person happy. I told him that that beautiful car did the same thing as ours, but it was more expensive, because it had a few trinkets that ours did not have. Still, it was just a car. And he concluded that a car cannot make you happy. And I said that applied to toys, clothes and many things shown on TV commercial breaks. And he asked: “So they lie to us Mom?” I said: “All the time.” 

I don’t know if he will remember what I said, but I am sure to keep insisting for both my children to remember that the advertisers tell we need something, just to make us want something. 

Don’t stand idle in front of TV commercials. Criticize the product if you feel you must, tell your children that the toy is useless if you think so. (I once refused to buy a little robotic fish because it cost US$40 and it did nothing much!), make them more aware of what they are seeing. If you are not being brainwashed, chances will be they will also begin to see the misleading aspects of advertising.

Today’s Mini Mission

Declutter any kitchen utensils or gadgets that you don’t use often enough to warrant keeping. ~ Who isn’t on the lookout for something that can make our workload lighter. When it comes to the home the kitchen is a major source of this focus. The problem is that many of the gadgets on the market don’t live up to their promise to lighten that load. The utensils drawer ends up with three different styles of peelers, can openers, potato mashers etc and the shelves are packed with all manner of electric gadgets. I must say that some credit has to be given to anyone who still believes on home cooking rather than caving into buying, not always healthy, prepared meals, but be sceptical about the usefulness or such gadgets.

“If we do not feel grateful for what we already have, what makes us think we’d be happy with more?” — Unknown

Eco Tip for the Day

For a full list of my eco tips so far click here

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Cindy

Every time you see something fun, intriguing, clever, imaginative, or functional at a friend’s house, are you tempted to buy one for yourself too? When your child loves a toy that he or she has played with at a friend’s house, school, or the doctor’s office, do you think he or she must surely want one for your house as well?

This is a trap. Don’t fall for it.

In my experience, parents and grandparents are the first and worst to fall into this trap. If junior loves a toy elsewhere, he/she will surely love one at home too. Not necessarily. Instead, by buying a duplicate, you’ve removed the thrill of the toy at the other location as something special to look forward to. Now it’s at your house and is just one of the many, nothing special about it. I’ve even seen duplicates occur when the child already owns a toy. In my own life I can think of some wooden dolls with magnetic clothing that the girls enjoyed. Somehow, by the time they were ready to get rid of the sets, my two daughters had five different sets of these dolls. They didn’t enjoy their five sets any more than they enjoyed their original two though. So why did I, and others, think that if some was good, more was better?

My husband recently tried to go down this path. He has made a new friend Joe, and Joe likes to play strategy games and owns an extensive collection of them. First game they played together, Dan wanted to buy for our house as well, even though the chances of playing it without Joe are negligible. In fact, a big part of the fun is that the two fathers and the two oldest kids play together. Owning this game isn’t going to make the playing happen more frequently or make it more fun. In fact, if Dan insisted on playing it at our house, it might make the times we get together with the other family less enjoyable.

Can you look around your house or garage and see something that you felt you had to have too, and now it’s just sitting there, mocking your decision? Get rid of it, and remember: You don’t have to have one too.

Today’s Mini Mission

Today clear off and declutter the floor in your chosen room. Pick up anything that doesn’t belong on the floor and find a home for it. Once again move any unwanted clutter to its departure point.

Eco Tip For The Day

Use washable dishrags in your kitchen rather than paper towel or chemically saturated wet wipes.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Cindy

I messed up my posting this week. Sorry! So I’m trying again on Saturday / Sunday as a surprise.

As you know, I just got back from a 2 week family vacation in Colorado, and I’ve been thinking about souvenirs, possibly the most unnecessary yet expensive part of many people’s vacations, both in terms of money and the time spent seeking the objects. What motivates us to spend hours combing often tacky, crowded gift stores looking at mass produced and likely Made in China shot glasses, key chains, and t-shirts for something to take home, either for ourselves or as a gift for someone who did not make the trip with us?

According to Wikipedia, “A souvenir (from French, for a remembrance or memory), memento, keepsake, or token of remembrance is an object a person acquires for the memories the owner associates with it. The term souvenir brings to mind the mass-produced kitsch that is the main commodity of souvenir and gift shops in many tourist attractions around the world. But a souvenir can be any object that can be collected or purchased and transported home by the traveler. The object itself has no real significance other than the psychological connection the possessor has with the object as a symbol of past experience. Without the owner’s input, the object’s meaning is invisible and cannot be articulated.”

I love the elegance of this definition about objects that I consider to typically be the opposite of elegant. I think the last sentence especially explains why I at least so undervalue, even resent, when someone gives me a souvenir from a trip (which hasn’t happened for years, by the way). The object has no meaning to me, and therefore I see it exactly at face value – it’s a cheap t-shirt or a unwanted bit of kitsch.

Photographs are the most common souvenir, and I do enjoy taking photos, but I try not to go overboard. One at the top of Pike’s Peak is plenty. I don’t need 45 shots, like the lady standing next to me. I also like postcards, but I buy them and send them. I don’t hang onto them as a memento.

So in honesty, what did we return from our trip toting that we did not leave with?

3 t-shirts (me, Clara, and Audra). My t-shirt was an intentional replacement for a college t-shirt that I’ve had for years and need to make into a rag. I picked it carefully, and I like it. In fact, I’m wearing it right now. Both girls have also worn their shirts again. Clara’s references Colorado, but Audra’s is a graphic of horses.

copper ring – Audra

small matted photograph – Clara

3 bars of chocolate purchased at the Celestial Seasonings gift shop (a really fun tour if you happen to pass through Boulder, Colorado) – These were given to Clara’s boyfriend, and I’m sure they are not collecting dust on his shelf!

4 boxes of tea, also purchased at Celestial Seasonings. These are being consumed.

postcards – I believe that all we purchased were mailed while we were gone. (A travel tip – buy postcard stamps before you leave and take them with you. While it’s easy to buy postcards; it’s a lot harder to find a post office while you’re traveling.)

Are you a sucker for souvenirs? A person whose heart beats faster when you learn that the tour ends with a mandatory trip through the gift shop? Do you spontaneously buy things while traveling because they’re “cute” or “fun” or “a must have”? Do you have mouse ears from Disney, a t-shirt from the Grand Canyon, drilled playing cards from Vegas, and a snow globe with the Eiffel Tower inside. Do you need these things? Do you want them? Do you feel obligated to keep them now that they’re in your house? (“But it came all the way from (far away location) Cindy!”)

Prevention is the best cure, so I challenge you to not only move along a souvenir in your home, but also to resist next time you’re vacationing, and especially to teach your children that purchasing is not an obligatory part of every vacation, trip to the zoo, or visit to Grandma’s house.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

Cindy

Any fan of Star Trek or American pop culture has heard the phrase “Resistance is futile.” It was popularized on the TV show Star Trek when the Borg (human-machine hybrids) were about to assimilate (i.e., suck in, take over, and destroy) a new race of beings.

This phrase popped into my mind yesterday when I was perusing the sales flier for the big box discount store Costco.

Costco and its competitor Sam’s sell items in bulk – big bulk – in a warehouse setting and at discounted prices, often significantly discounted. Not only can you buy food in bulk, more than half the store is dedicated to non-disposable items such as kitchen appliances, electronics, mattresses, furniture, office supplies, and a huge variety of “storage solutions.” (Clever of them!)

It is not possible to keep / achieve a decluttered house without resisting the temptation to purchase more. Everything that you bring into the house indiscriminately is what later turns into stuff that needs to be decluttered.

Let’s walk through the sales flier together, and I’ll tell you what I’m thinking as we go along:

• First page, TVs and electronics – “Don’t need any of these, keep going.”
• Norton Anti-Virus, limit 10. “I wonder who would buy ten? Why buy the software at all? You can pay for it on your computer and download it directly, no software, box etc. needed.”
• 4 pounds of jelly beans and 48 Pop Tarts. “No one needs that many Pop Tarts or jelly beans. No one.”
• Izze sparkling juice, Kashi Go Lean cereal, Splenda. “Still have plenty of all of those. They’ll be on sale again. No need to buy today.”
• Bottled water with and without vitamins. “Probably the number one source of plastic waste after plastic bags. Why do people buy it?”
• Sonicare toothbrush. “I bought one of these for Audra for Christmas, because she’s such a tooth brushing fanatic. Wish I’d realized that the replacement heads are almost $10 each, though. What a rip off!”
• Vitamins. “Have what I need right now. They’re always on sale.”
• Various medications. “Don’t need, don’t need, don’t need.”
• Charmin toilet paper. “Don’t need any right now. I hope they get the recycled kind back in stock.”
• Paper towels. “I hardly ever use these, and only buy one roll at a time. I certainly don’t need a dozen.”
• Ziploc baggies. “I definitely don’t need these! Still have some that I purchased 2 years ago. I wish I’d known how long it would take me to use them.” (I try not to use baggies, and when I do, I always wash and reuse until they fall apart or until I put meat in them.)
• Venus razors. “Clara uses a Venus, but she just needs replacement blades. This has three handles, too. What in the world?”
• Quicken. “Same with Norton Anti-Virus. Most software can be downloaded.”
• Beds, furniture, giant playset. “No, no, no.”

So I’ve done it. I’ve looked through the sale flier of one of the stores that I frequent most often and found nothing new, special, or discounted that I cannot live without, at least until my current supply runs down.

How do I approach shopping in the store?

I start with a list. We keep a running list of things that are finished / running low on the refrigerator. Everyone in the family knows to add to this list. Things that are purchased at Costco are marked with a big C.

When I enter Costco,

• I walk past all the electronics, furniture, appliances, etc. that line the left side of the store and head directly to the back where the refrigerated cases, bread, and liquor is. I pick up what is on my list, usually bread, Parmesan cheese, beer, and hummus.
• I often buy apples (although the plastic boxes that the apples are packaged in bother me greatly) and a sack of oranges. It doesn’t matter that other fruit or vegetables are so cheap that a box here is the same cost as 2 or 3 pieces at the regular grocery; I only need 2 or 3 pieces, and the rest would be wasted.
• I swing to the back of the store if I need toilet paper, dog food, cat food, or outdoor bird seed.
• Then I hit the freezer cases (again, only buying what it on my list), and quickly make my way through the grocery area, avoiding any aisle that doesn’t contain items that are on my list. 
• Occasionally I make a pass through the pharmacy section.
• Last I hit the snack area and pick up a few things there. Then I check out. 

You’ll notice that I skipped the entire middle section of the store, where all the books, DVDs, seasonal items, clothes, and linens are stocked. Those are not on my list; I do not need to venture in there.

How do I deal with the ladies passing out yummy samples? I hardly ever refuse them, but I don’t buy the item on impulse. It wasn’t on my list; it will be there next time; waiting keeps me from bringing home two dozen servings of something that no one may want to eat after trying the first one or two.

To reiterate:

• No shopping for non-consumables that aren’t my list. No looking even.
• Buy only what is on the list.
• Remember that even if I like a product, I may not like a 4 pound package of it.
• Don’t shop in aisles that don’t contain goods on the list.
• Don’t wander. In any store, the more you wander, the more likely you are to buy what you didn’t intend to purchase.
• No impulse purchases from samples.

Resistance is NOT futile, and if you do it right, you feel like an efficient and smart shopper, not like someone who is about to be assimilated by the Borg of consumerism.

Today’s Mini Mission

CDs and DVDs are another thing that we can tire of over time. Flick through your music and movie collections and decide whether they are all loved enough to keep. Sell or donate the excess.

Eco Tip for the Day

Save petrol by making do with what is in the fridge and cupboard rather than taking an unnecessary trip to the store.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Written by:- Cindy Bogard

If you’re in a big hurry, just read this: 

Resist!

If you’re not in such a hurry, feel free to read on.

In the United States, Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving, which was on Thursday this week. Sadly, the website Answers.com defines Black Friday as “an unofficial American holiday”. Sad, not because the rest of you are missing out; sad because a day of shopping insanity has somehow become “an unofficial American holiday”.

So what is Black Friday? As I said, it’s the day after Thanksgiving and the official start to what’s called the holiday shopping season. (Spring, Summer, Fall, Holiday Shopping, Winter?) It’s called black because of traditional accounting notations: While debt is noted in red, profit is noted in black. Some businesses run “in the red” all year and don’t go “into the black” until the shopping mayhem begins the day after Thanksgiving.

Black Friday is a day of amazing sales and deep discounts. Some stores open as early as 4:00 am, with people staying up all night in the parking lot so they can be the first in the door, as the very best sales (aptly named “doorbusters”) are only available in limited quantities. In 2008, a worker at Wal-Mart was trampled to death in the frenzied crush of Black Friday.

Recently, a friend forwarded to me a website devoted to Black Friday (www.Black-Friday.net). They’re posting the circulars (advertisements) in advance on their site and boast over 100,000 fans on Facebook. They report that Kmart’s Black Friday circular is 44 pages and that  “We can’t stress enough how much we love this ad (Wal-Mart). There are tons of excellent deals and we think you will be very happy with it.”

Oh my. What’s a decluttering gal to think?

Resist!

If you really feel that you need or want a 47″ flat screen TV or a new laptop, don’t let a sale ad make the decision for you. Research your purchase. Think through your decision making. Don’t buy in haste. The same rules apply to shopping on Black Friday as to every other day. If you see what you want at an excellent price, and you can tolerate the bedlam (which I can’t), then fill up your thermos with coffee, stand in line all night long, and get your doorbuster deal, but don’t buy out the place just because there are sale ads plastered on every item in the store. Remember, the stores are desperate for you to buy; that doesn’t mean you need to be desperate to purchase.

May your Friday not be Black

Weekend Mini Missions

Saturday – Declutter a part of a set, group or collection of items where you use or enjoy some pieces but not others. Here is a post from Cindy that explains what I mean but it doesn’t give any advice on how to convince yourself to let go. I can assure you though that I have done this several times over the last couple of years and I have never regretted it once.

Sunday - Sunday is reserved for contemplating one particular item, of your choice that is proving difficult for you to declutter. Whether that be for sentimental reasons, practical reasons, because the task is laborious or simply unpleasant, or because the items removal requires the cooperation of another person. That last category may mean that the item belongs to someone else who has to give their approval, it could also mean there is a joint decision to be made or it could mean that the task of removing it requires assistance from someone else. There is no need to act on this contemplation immediately, it is more about formulating a plan to act upon or simply making a decision one way or another.

I really enjoyed Cecily’s post from Tuesday. I very much agreed with her that we need to be honest with ourselves in order to convince ourselves to let go of the things that have really just become a burden to us.

Some of the things I used to find hard to let go of earlier in my declutter journey were…

• Storage containers once they became empty of clutter. The inner dialogue that would creep in at the point of letting go was ~ But they are so useful what if I find I need them later on. And my honest response was ~ I don’t plan on cluttering up my house again so I will make sure I won’t need them.
• Craft supplies. The what if argument would rare it’s ugly head again here too ~ What if I find later on that I have more free time to concentrate of being creative? My counter argument was ~ You still have more than enough supplies to keep you occupied for months maybe even years so enough is enough.
• Small sentimental items. The argument here was centred on the fact that they didn’t take up much room so what does it matter? I soon learned to counter with ~ Every piece of clutter is clutter no matter how big or small. Lots of small things add up to big clutter in the end. And generally these things were hidden away where I never saw them anyway so why keep them.
• Clever useful gadgets. No matter how clever and useful they are and no matter how much respect I have for clever design if I am no longer finding a use for them then they have become clutter to me. And rather then be wasted they should be set free to be useful to someone else.
• Things I still use regularly but had too many of. For example, pens, hand towels, craft supplies (again), coffee cups, glassware… this list could go on and on but I think you get the idea. All of these things get used often in my home and yes if I were to keep the excess they would eventually get used due to natural progression through wear and tear. BUT ! (did I make that clear enough)… that could take fifty years and putting aside that fact that I may not live that long the object of this exercise is to reduce clutter, all clutter. If I have to buy a pen or a cup forty years from now I think I can live with that.

I think you get the idea. Think about the things you own. Anything that feels like clutter probably is clutter. And if in doubt put it under careful scrutiny before walking away and trying to ignore its presence. Let it go and enjoy the freedom of living with less.

Today’s Mini Mission

The inside of the fridge always is in need of a little decluttering no matter how soon ago you did it last. Have a dig around and see if there is any out of date items or just items that you keep thinking you will use up one day but never do.

Today’s Declutter Item

These were one of those useful little things that I had to convince myself to let go of. They were being useful for some time holding foreign coins that were totally useless to us once we returned home from trips abroad. Once the coins were donated the pouches really weren’t needed either. Ignoring the argument that I might find a use for them in the future took a little effort but I got rid of them quick so there was no turning back.

Useful little pouches

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

My post on Tuesday regarding clutter foisted on you from other well intentioned people inspired one readers to send me an email. I am so excited for this reader, even though she sees a potential problem looming I am thrilled for her. Not only because of her happy situation but because she has already discovered the joys of living with less before starting a family. What a great opportunity to for getting it right. My children were 18 & 20 went I embarked on my more minimalist lifestyle and although I am sure they will tell you I was a miser there were a lot of things I could have done differently and better.

Here is what our reader had to say…

“…I’m pregnant with our first and although I’m really happy about that I’m already getting anxious about the huge amount of stuff I see other new parents drowning in. I know you need some stuff for the baby, but since when did baby’s start to need stuff in stead of love, care and attention? (and food and clean diapers of course) I’m really interested if and how other readers have resisted the flow of stuff into the house as it seems that I allready get overwhelmed by the stuff offered or just plain dumped on me…”

When I had my first bub almost 23 years ago now I couldn’t afford to lavish her with stuff. We had gone from double income no kids to one income, a baby one month later and threw a home mortgage in on top of that seven months later. Luckily I found having baby to be relatively inexpensive because I really didn’t have to provide much except breast milk. Honestly the grandparents, uncles, aunts and friends provided just about all I needed. I let them know what I required and they gave it to us as gifts. Of course there was also lots of stuff given that we didn’t really need but in those days I was happy to receive anything and everything. I am much wiser now and so is my reader.

The beauty of pregnancy is that it takes, all going well, nine months to arrive at the wonderful day of delivery. That is nine months to prepare for the happy day. In this case that is nine months to let people know that it is important to you to maintain a more minimalist lifestyle even with a baby in the household. Now is the time to make it clear to people that you do not want to raise your child surrounded by unnecessary stuff.

I would suggest that mothers-to-be investigate what products they will need as the bare minimum to take care of baby from day one. Narrow it down to the specifics of what brands you prefer. Then let it be known to those around you who will not be able to resist (namely grandmothers-to-be) that these are the items you would really appreciate receiving. It takes the guess work out of gift giving for your loved ones and hopefully will appease their need to adorn baby with gifts without unnecessary clutter build up.

My reader is so right, there are only so many things that she will really need to begin with. The only things essential to a babies survival is food, clothing, shelter to be kept clean, have somewhere to sleep and last but certainly not least love.

Here is a list of things I would think to be essential for when baby arrives…

• Somewhere for baby to sleep
• Sheets and blankets
• Something for transporting the baby safely in the car (If travelling this way)
• A pram/buggy/stroller or sling (not immediately essential)
• Diapers/nappies
• Food and feeding supplies (If breastfeeding is unsuccessful)
• Enough clothing to keep them cosy
• Baby bath (optional)
• Change table (optional)
• Some toiletries ~ baby wash, lotion, powder.

Correct me if I am wrong but outside of that short list everything else is either optional or a requirement brought on by special circumstances. And this list gives lots of options for gift giving ideas.

Without wanting to sound melodramatic or pessimistic I personally don’t think it is advisable to acquire anything but the absolute essentials for bringing baby home prior to the birth. And even restraint should be shown to acquire those items until the last couple of months. It is unthinkable but unfortunately there is no guarantee that everything will go well. If all else fails this is a good point to make to those people who will try to insist on purchasing items for you in advance or who bombard you with all their consumerist ideas on what you  “absolutely will need” for you baby.

Now is the time to set the guidelines as to how you want to raise your child, without excess or unnecessary gadgets, thing-a-ma-gigs, fluff and nonsense. In a non-consumerist environment that respects nature and you and your child’s sense of identity. Stick to your ideals regardless of what others might think ~ because there is a good chance they are wrong ~ and if people do insist of endowing you with stuff you don’t need feel free to find it a new home. There are no shortage of people out there who would go without otherwise who would appreciate your kind donation.

Our reader would love to hear her fellow 365’ers views on this subject.

Today’s Declutter Item

Shopping for craft supplies is like shopping for baby supplies ~ you only need what you can use at the time. There is no need to stock up for the future. And once the items are not longer necessary pass them on to someone who might need them.

Something I Am Grateful For Today

The reader who was the inspiration behind this post. I congratulate you and wish you all the very best for the future.

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

People give things to friends and family members for all sorts of reasons and three of those reasons are 1. Gifts  2. Trying to be helpful and  3. Offloading things they no longer have a love of or need for. And each of these reason have their own sub-categories some of which crossover through all three titles. I will set out some examples below.

Gifts

1. They have one themselves and love it and wanted to share the joy. The intention is good but it may not contain the same joy for you.
2. They know you have a collection of something and think you would be happy to receive another example. Also good intentioned, but sometimes personal collections revolve around personal taste and although the gift is along the same lines it may not be to your taste. And perhaps your collection only keeps growing because well intentioned people keep adding to it.
3. They have an idea on what would look good on you fashion wise and buy you an outfit to suit. You on the other hand would hate yourself in it.
4. What do you buy for someone who has everything? Anything so long as you have a gift to give, right? Wrong. Take them out, give them a treat and don’t bother with material gifts that they just don’t need.

Trying to be helpful

1. 1 & 3 from the list above.
2. They notice you don’t have something and think you would benefit from owning one.

Offloading things they now longer have a love of or need for

1. What do people do with family heirlooms that they no longer want cluttering up their homes. That’s right they “generously” hand it on to the next in line sucker beneficiary. Now that person is stuck with the obligation of preserving family history. It really is OK to turn down this sort of duty ~ for want of a better word ~ there is usually someone in the family who would really appreciate what is on offer.
2. People often have useful things they no longer have a need for and hate to see these items go to waste. Often however it feels more acceptable to them if they generously hand it on to a friend of family member rather than just donate it to a charity. This way they can witness it being put to good use.  Once again it is Ok to turn down these offers. You don’t have to put yourself out in order to appease their guilt for not getting full use out of something.
3. You once said you thought something they had was handy, pretty or interesting and now they no longer want this item. They remember you had admired it and think you would be grateful if they gave it to you.

I have two pieces of advice when it comes to accepting and offering “clutter”.

1. You don’t have to accept or keep items that will clutter up your house just to make someone else feel good. That is just handing the clutter baton on to the next person. Here is a polite refusal for when people offer you their things… Thank you for your kind offer but I really don’t have a use for this. I appreciate you thinking of me though. When it comes to gifts it is difficult to refuse but in future make it clear that no gifts are necessary. Accept the gift by all means but don’t feel obliged to keep it. Return it exchange it or give it away.
2. When offering your clutter to someone else always offer the person an out. That is offer it in such a way that they won’t feel they are offending you by saying no thank you. Here is an example … I am getting rid of this item and I wanted to give you first option to take it. If it is not something you would find useful that is OK, I will just drop it off at the thrift store.

Have you ever felt awkward about passing on or accepting things? Have you taken items just because you don’t want to offend the giver? Have you wondered whether someone has done this with you?

Today’s Declutter Item

This was an unwanted gift that I found I had no need for even though I did give it a try. It was eventually donated to the thrift store. It is a manicure gadget in case you are trying to figure it out.

An unwanted gift

Something I Am Grateful For Today

My skills at packaging up ebay sale items. I have quite a knack for it, even if I say so myself.

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow