Earlier this week I received a comment from Angelina requesting that I write a post about minimizing kids’ wardrobes. Below is what she wrote…

I love your blog, I read it everyday. I am a stay at home Mom with two kids. I was wondering if you can write about Minimalist Wardrobe for Kids. My kids have so much clothes, I don’t know how to keep up with them. My mother in law buys them clothes all the time, non-stop. The clothes are driving me crazy.

Keep up the great job, I can’t get enough of your blog, I’ve recommend your sites to my family and friends too.

Now first up I would like to say the I would not consider myself a minimalist by any stretch of the imagination although I agree in principle with the minimalist movement. I prefer to think that at best I am only at the start of that journey but like the feel of the trip so far.

That being said I will be happy to give my take on Angelina’s problem. Now I am going to be quite blunt here because I think there is no other way around this and I think in the long run Angelina will agree with what I am about to say. Her own comment/request hinted at the real problem here and I think she just needs a little advice on how to handle it tactfully. I am not always the most tactful person though I must admit but I will give it my best shot.

Angelina’s problem isn’t her children and it isn’t their wardrobe the problem is that her Mother-in-law doesn’t know when enough is enough. She means well I am sure but excess is not only bad for the environment but it is also not a good lesson to teach children. Unfortunately, the only solution to this problem is to make a request of the MIL to cut back on this unnecessary supply of clothing.

Now I don’t know how close their relationship is but, no matter what, she cannot idly stand by and let this continue. We often make the mistake of sacrificing our own needs for the needs of others but when the other person’s actions are having a negative effect on more than just ourselves (although that really is enough in some cases) then it  is time to stand up for what you believe in.

There clearly needs to be a conversation between Angelina and her MIL and perhaps it should go like this.

1. Lead in with a compliment…“‘MIL you provide such lovely clothes for the children, they are always so neatly dressed and I can see you love them dearly”….
2. Continue with a little gratitude…“and I am grateful to you for your generosity”…
3. Then comes the BUT… “but the quantity of clothes you provide for the kids is just too much. There is no way they will ever get the full value out of each item when there are so many to choose from and it is such a waste. This excess is not a good lesson to teach the children and not good for the environment either”. You may want to add something here about your goal to cut down on clutter in your home.
4. Now is when the request comes in with a little lacing of more gratitude for sweetener…“It is not my intention to upset you but I really would prefer that you cut back on the quantity of clothing you have been buying for them. I do appreciate your generosity but it is just too much. Do you think you could do that for me?”

At no point in this conversation have any demands been made. There is a good balance of gratitude and a clear explanation of the concerns both for Angelina’s thoughts on the waste involved and the feelings of the MIL. I think this formula can be adapted to fit with a number of situations to request people to cut back on the excess they provide you against your personal requirements.

I have made a page of this called Request Formula in case you would like to reference it for future issues. I am always open to suggestion on improvement so if you think I need to add something to it please feel free to let me know.

Well Angelina, I hope this was helpful to you and I look forward to hearing how things went for you with your mother-in-law.

ITEM 219 OF 365 LESS THINGS

We bought this set of snorkel gear when on vacation once. We should have left them at the beach for someone else to take as they have never been used since. I gave them to the son of a friend because they go to the beach all the time.

A place for everything and everything in it’s place!

• If you always know where everything is you won’t need to replace it because you can’t find it.

Know the difference between need and want

• It is easy to convince yourself that something you want is something you need. Don’t be fooled by this.

Only shop for what you need

• This one speaks for itself, if you aren’t bringing anything you don’t need into your home it will stay uncluttered.

Make it clear you don’t want clutter gifts

• If you plan ahead with this one it will save a lot of embarrassment of refusing to accept such gifts.

Remove clutter receptacles in your home

• Adding clutter is difficult if you have no where to store it. Things such as bookcases, display cabinets, baskets, shelves and storage containers are clutter receptacles. Get rid of them as soon as you get rid of the clutter that was in them or you may just fill them up again.

Don’t sacrifice your principals for the desires of others

• Don’t accept other peoples clutter just so you don’t hurt their feelings. Your feelings matter too and you shouldn’t be expected to sabotage your lifestyle in this way.

Remove any items that become useless immediately

• Lifestyle changes are inevitable as time goes by. Once an item become of no further use to you remove it from your home or once again clutter will start to develop. Just because something wasn’t clutter once doesn’t mean it won’t become clutter in the future.

It am sure there are more strategies that should be on this list but it is late and I am tired so I will leave it at that for now. If anyone has anything they think should be included please leave a comment and I will add it  and perhaps make a page of it.

ITEM 196 OF 365 LESS THINGS

Maybe I should add cancel magazine subscriptions to the list above

I  had one of those days yesterday where things just weren’t going my way. I won’t go into the details but needless to say I achieved little and that was interspersed with unwanted interruptions and issues.

Last night I spent so much time trying to sensitively answer the comments to yesterday’s post that I really didn’t have much time to write a post for today. So I am going to share with you all a little story relayed from Cindy (one on my readers) to myself through emails yesterday that warmed my frazzled heart.

She went to Chucky Cheese yesterday with her girls. I have added the link in case people don’t know what Chucky Cheese is but to be brief it is a kids game/restaurant where the kids can play carnival type games and win tickets which they can exchange for prizes. Now Cindy’s girls have been involved in the decluttering process in their home and are really on board with the process. When they had finished playing the games and were ready to cash in their tickets for prizes they both couldn’t find anything they really wanted. When Cindy pointed out that they really didn’t need to bring something home they didn’t want they happily left empty handed.

How proud I would have been if I was their mother. Cindy you are doing a great job of raising those kids, congratulation.

ITEM 190 OF 365 LESS THINGS

Here are some items my darling daughter was willing to part with recently there is more to come on that subject but I will get to that in another post soon

Today’s word is…

C O N S I D E R A T E

Show respect for yourself, your fellow human beings and the environment…

Be CONSIDERATE when shopping

• Constantly buying items you do not need puts a strain on the world’s resources.

Be CONSIDERATE to the environment

• To process resources to produce the items we buy puts a strain on the environment. Also the more we own the more space we need to store these items the bigger the footprint we leave on this planet.

Be CONSIDERATE to family

• In order to purchase un-necessary items requires money that has to be earned. The more you buy the harder you have to work to provide the money for those excesses. That time working is time not spent with your family.

Be CONSIDERATE to those left behind

• Nobody lives for ever and there is always someone who has to take care of  the things left behind when we leave this world. This passing is sad enough on our loved ones without the added stress of sorting through excess possessions.

Be CONSIDERATE to those less fortunate than you

• Donate your excess items to a charity so they can help others who are less fortunate than you. Better still instead of buying un-necessary items make a cash donation to a charity it will help others and you will feel good about yourself as well.

I know I have been guilty in the past of not being considerate of all of these things but I vow to be better than this now and in the future.

ITEM 178 OF 365 LESS THINGS

My husband used this sheep skin on his motorbike seat but that was years ago

You are probably wondering what Photo Deterrent means. It is a idea that just popped into my head yesterday while commenting to Anna at www.whoopsadaisy-anna.blogspot.com/ about her lovely shoes. I am sure this probably isn’t an original plan but I thought I was clever anyway.

Here is the plan…

• Choose an item you have that torments you because you never use it even though you spent quite a bit of your hard earned cash in it.
• It would be best if the item is one you are having a difficult time parting with because it is addictively appealing to you on some level but you know you probably won’t ever use.
• Now take a photo of it
• Print the photo in a wallet size format
• Put it in your purse/wallet in a very prominent position where you can see it every time you go to pay for things (even if you have to cover the photo of your sweetheart/children/husband etc).

At this point I think you clearly understand what Photo Deterrent means. Every time you go to make an ill advised purchase you will see that picture and at least think twice about what you are doing and hopefully put the item back and walk away.

If you find this photo is just causing you a lot of unneeded stress try this approach instead…

• Take a photo depicting a goal you intend saving for. Maybe an overseas trip, starting your own business, paying off your home loan.
• Put that in your wallet in a prominent position
• Hopefully that will inspire you to stop spending and  start saving.

The possibilities are endless. You could use a photo of the last “bargain” you bought that you still haven’t used yet or of  something you have multiples of that are completely un-necessary…

Any one of  these strategies could potentially deter you from acquiring any more un-necessary clutter. If however it is having the opposite effect for goodness sakes get rid of the photo.

Since I can’t for the life of me think of anything to get rid of today that has any relevance to the subject at hand I shall make today’s item this scary looking knife that my husband sold on eBay

Colleen’s Helpful Hint of the Day

To easily clean your microwave oven place a damp microfibre cloth on the plate, heat in microwave on high for about 30 seconds. When timer goes wait a couple of minutes for the steam that is generated from the heated cloth to soften any soiling on the inside of the oven then just wipe away.

The idea behind 365 less things is not only to rid our home of clutter but also not to replace that clutter with new clutter. I like to refer to it as “dematerialise”, that is to stop being a victim to the constant materialistic urge to keep up with the Jones or use “retail therapy” to put joy into my life.

I am now getting lots of joy sending things out to other homes that might need it more than I do and saving my hard earned cash to use where I feel I get more satisfaction, like travelling or going out for a nice meal somewhere special or paying off the mortgage quickly. These things may not appeal to you but maybe your old car isn’t going to last much longer and you keep thinking you can’t afford to replace it but at the same time you just spent $100 on that new blouse at Country Road and picked up the latest Bryce Courtney Novel you had been meaning to read. There goes $135 you won’t get back and you most likely couldn’t fit another item of clothing in your overstuffed closet and you could have borrowed the book from the library for free.

Think before you spend “Need, want, need, want” which is it and make the smart choice.

Today two pair of sneakers found their way to the garbage bin. Soon we won’t have to stack shoes on top of each other in the shoe cupboard.