I was digging in the archives of 365 yesterday looking for another post when I came upon this little gem. I decided to share it with you again because this strategy has proven useful, at times, in convincing my loved ones to declutter some things. I hope it will work for you.

Recently I was let in on a strategy on how to state a case or perhaps even get another person to come around to your way of thinking without their sensibilities being offended. The idea is to get people to think rationally about a subject without them realising that you are leading them in a direction they may not have considered.

The trick is to broach the topic in the form of a question that you quite likely have the same opinion on. Once you are in agreement you steer the conversation, maybe even in the form of another question, in the direction in which you want it to go. Successfully bypassing any undesirable emotional response while leading them hopefully to conforms to your way of thinking.

Making a request to grandparents that they don’t overindulge your children with excessive gifts of toys at Christmas and birthdays is a good example of how this ploy might work. Please see below for the scenario I have created to demonstrate this strategy.

While enjoying a normal conversation you bring up your topic by asking ~ “Did you have many toys to play with when you were growing up?”Hopefully they will say “Oh no!…” And they will regale you with some stories of the toys they do remember and how excited they were to receive them at the time.

Then comes the next question ~ “Did you feel deprived because you didn’t receive many or did you have fun regardless?” In this case you will hope the answer is “No we made our own fun. Children these days have no imagination…”

Then comes the $100 question “Do you think children these days have far too many toys?” I have never encountered an adult of my generation or above who ever answered no to this. They all think the current generation is spoiled rotten.

At this point you go in for the kill or should I say you come to the point of your conversation, while you have the upper hand, by saying “I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Don’t you think it would be a good idea if perhaps instead of giving lots of things to the children we all limit ourselves to giving one material gift and perhaps put some money in a bank account for them….”

What has occurred here is that the parent has extracted a true and logical opinion from the grandparent about how overindulged children are these days. Once they have showed their hand you then play your trump card by suggesting your idea of reducing this overindulgence for your own children (their grandchildren). By this point how could they not think that this is a good idea. And even if they do realise that they have been lead to this point, what can they do without losing face but agree your idea is sound.

I have to say I have been at the receiving end of this strategy more than once. Lead there by a certain person in particular who shall remain nameless. I nearly always twig as to what he is up to, but by then he has me caught hook line and sinker. I have to tell you that I am usually glad to be caught. Why, you might ask. Because I have a tendency to allow my emotions to rule my head far too much and his logic is much easier to swallow. With his clever manoeuvring I can then justify what for me may otherwise be a difficult emotional decision. I know my weakness well enough to be grateful to him for steering me away from that frightening abyss.

The beauty of this approach is that if the answers to the questions you are posing are not the ones that cement your case you can abort the mission at any time. No one ever need be the wiser that you were attempting to achieve an objective in the first place.

Today’s Mini Mission

Declutter something you have been procrastinating about getting rid of for a while.

Eco Tip of the Day

Turn off lights when leaving the room no matter how long you are gone for. It really doesn’t take much effort but in the long term all the energy savings do add up.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

Cindy

My girlfriend R stopped by my house two days before Christmas, looking mighty cross. She started spewing about how aggravated she was to be buying gifts for her many family members “just to be buying them something.” Her family is Jewish, and they celebrate Hanukkah as well. She’d tried to tell her brother that they shouldn’t exchange gifts, but his response was “Too late. I’ve already bought you something.” In addition, they don’t drawn names or limit giving to children, so everyone is giving a gift to everyone! R was definitely not feeling the holiday spirit. Here is the advice I gave to her:

First of all, you have to do what you’ve always done this year. Hanukkah is already over, and Christmas is in two days. You can’t change the rules now.

Beginning in January, though, you need to talk to your family about how you want to change your traditions. Maybe you should only do Christmas or only do Hanukkah. You could include Jews in Christmas or gentiles in Hanukkah – celebrate the holiday that works best, religiously and culturally, for your family.

Next you need to decide who you want to give to. R already gives charitable gifts to her parents. A donation to Heifer International for her dad and the elephant sanctuary in Tennessee for her mother. Maybe all her gifts should be charity; maybe she doesn’t want to continue with charitable gifts every year. In addition, she needs to think about the extended family that’s accustom to getting gifts from her: her brother, sister-in-law, their children, as well as her husband’s siblings, spouses, and their children, plus others who might be on “Santa’s” list. Does she want to eliminate all giving to adults? Draw names? Only donate to charity? Eliminate giving to everyone?

However, I also cautioned R that she can only control herself, her giving, her pocket book. She cannot force her siblings or in-laws to comply with her wishes. She can think through how she would like the gift-giving traditions in her families to evolve and make proposals. She can state firmly and clearly what she’s willing to do, but she can’t force others to bend to her will.

Today’s the day to begin this conversation: The holidays are fresh on everyone’s minds, and other people might be feeling the fiscal, temporal or environmental stress of having overbought, as well. Starting the conversation  well in advance, so no one is surprised by a sudden change in tradition, is the kindest gift of all.

Paper Free Grocery List

Today’s Mini Mission

Declutter something that you have way too many of than you really need. This could be cutlery, crockery, glassware, craft supplies, stationery items, tool, jewellery pieces, shoes etc.

Eco Tip for the Day

Here’s one way to save paper. Write your grocery list on the fridge with a whiteboard marker and then photograph it with your cell phone and take that with you when you go shopping.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow.

Recently I was let in on a strategy on how to state a case or perhaps even get another person to come around to your way of thinking without their sensibilities being offended. The idea is to get people to think rationally about a subject without them realising that you are leading them in a direction they may not have considered.

The trick is to broach the topic in the form of a question that you quite likely have the same opinion on. Once you are in agreement you steer the conversation, maybe even in the form of another question, in the direction in which you want it to go. Successfully bypassing any undesirable emotional response while leading them hopefully to conforms to your way of thinking.

Making a request to grandparents that they don’t overindulge your children with excessive gifts of toys at Christmas and birthdays is a good example of how this ploy might work. Please see below for the scenario I have created to demonstrate this strategy.

While enjoying a normal conversation you bring up your topic by asking ~ “Did you have many toys to play with when you were growing up?”Hopefully they will say “Oh no!…” And they will regale you with some stories of the toys they do remember and how excited they were to receive them at the time.

Then comes the next question ~ “Did you feel deprived because you didn’t receive many or did you have fun regardless?” In this case you will hope the answer is “No we made out own fun. Children these days have no imagination…”

Then comes the $100 question “Do you think children these days have far too many toys?” I have never encountered an adult of my generation or above who ever answered no to this. They all think the current generation is spoiled rotten.

At this point you go in for the kill or should I say you come to the point of your conversation, while you have the upper hand, by saying “I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Don’t you think it would be a good idea if perhaps instead of giving lots of things to the children we all limit ourselves to giving one material gift and perhaps put some money in a bank account for them….”

What has occurred here is that the parent has extracted a true and logical opinion form the grandparent about how overindulged children are these day. Once they have showed their hand you then play your trump card by suggesting your idea of reducing this overindulgence for your own children (their grandchildren). By this point how could they not think that is a good idea. And even if they do realise that they have been lead to this point what can they do without losing face but agree your idea is sound.

I have to say I have been at the receiving end of this strategy more than once. Lead there by a certain person in particular who shall remain nameless. I nearly always twig as to what he is up to, but by then he has me caught hood line and sinker. I have to tell you that I am usually glad to be caught. Why, you might ask. Because I have a tendency to allow my emotions to rule my head far too much and his logic is much easier to swallow. With his clever manoeuvring I can then justify what for me may otherwise be a difficult emotional decision. I know my weakness well enough to be grateful to him for steering me away from that frightening abyss.

The beauty of this approach is that if the answers to the questions you are posing are not the ones that cement your case you can abort the mission at any time. No one ever need be the wiser that you were attempting to achieve an objective in the first place.

Today’s Mini Mission

Roundup all the little tools that are scattered throughout your home. Once together declutter any excess.

Today’s Declutter Item

Stage 2 of the great craft declutter is underway at last. I have opened an Etsy store and have made my first sale. What a fun and creative way to declutter. The photo collage below show my handcrafted products purchased in that first sale.

My first Esty sale

For a full list of my eco tips so far click here

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

Cindy

I revisted the archives from September 1, 2010 for this post. It was titled “Cindy’s Take on Avoiding Recluttering.” This time I have published it with gift buying in mind. As appropriate, insert “the gift recipient” in place of “I”

It’s bound to happen sometime; you’re going to have to break down and buy something. Before you do, consider these factors:

1. Do I need it?
2. Do I want it?
3. Did I come into the store looking for this item, or did it just catch my eye?
4. Would I be criticized if my spouse or family members knew that I had purchased this?
5. Can I afford it? If I cannot pay for it now, should I buy it?
6. Can I wait a week and see if I still believe I need to buy this?
7. I am buying it “just to try it”? If I am, is there some other way that I could try it first?
8. Can I borrow it or rent it instead?
9. Can I buy it used?
10. Can I share the purchase of this item with someone else? (Lawn tools, exercise equipment, a bicycle, or magazine subscriptions all fall into this category.)
11. Have I researched this purchase? Is this item durable and does it do the things I want?
12. Will this item be easy use, maintain, and keep organized? Does this item perform more than one function?
13. Do I have something at home that will perform the same function? Will it replace one or more other things that I already have? Am I willing to move those other things along? Do I truly need to replace those things?
14. Do I have a place to store this item? Do I know that it fits?
15. Is it in a color or style that I will continue to enjoy? Does it fit with my décor or the other things in my wardrobe?
16. What is it made of? Where was it made? Are the components healthy for me and the environment? Is it labeled for recycling? Is it made of recycled parts?
17. Can I sell it when I no longer want it?

Today’s Mini Mission

Roundup all pens and pencils that are scattered throughout your home. Once together declutter any excess.

Today’s Declutter Item

One has to wonder why we still have a snowboard even though we have been back in Australia for over five years now and the person this was once the right size for is now no doubt too big for it.

Snowboard

Eco Tip for the Day

Consider donating excess pens and pencils in your home to a local school or take them to be used in your workplace. This will reduce the need for these places to purchase new ones while decluttering excess from your home. They are likely to dry up and become useless before they are ever used otherwise. I wonder how many pens succumb to this fate every year. Also try to remember not to accidentally acquire more. I almost walked off with a pen from the post office last week after address a parcel I was sending. I can assure you I didn’t need any more pens. In fact I will follow my own advice here and declutter yet more from my house. Perhaps I will take them to the post office. If you set aside a place in your house to store such items you won’t fall into the trap of buying more that you don’t need.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

Cindy

I am coming to the end of a multi-year Use It Up Challenge: To use up all the copious amounts of wrapping paper that I purchased on sale after Christmas like clockwork every December 27.

TreeHugger has a great article on holiday waste and sites estimates of 4 million tons of wrapping paper and gift bags thrown away.

My girl friend Corinna has made cloth bags that she reuses year after year. She does a lot of sewing and cloth crafts so my guess is that she was able to make these bags with remnants. Here are great step-by-step instructions; even a non-sewer can follow along.

My sister-in-law, who lived in Taiwan until fairly recently, sometimes wraps her gifts in cloth, using a Japanese technique called furoshiki. Apparently the origins of this art for were to carry one’s lunch or other personal items – basically a tote sack made from a piece of cloth. There are lots of instructions on the Internet as to how to wrap differently shaped objects.

The simplest recycling/wrapping project I know is something we call Map Wrap. Map Wrap is a variation on the once popular Sunday Comics wrapping, but it uses old maps. As part of my decluttering, I cleared out all maps that were more than 10 years old, which was a big handful. I’ve been using them to wrap and I love the intricate, cheerful designs and colors. Most people seem to think that they look pretty cool.

I have also heard of taking a chip bag, which usually has a shiny silver interior, wiping the oil away, and wrapping the gift silver side out. I’ve never done it, but the ladies who told me about it do it regularly – especially for kids gifts. They say that most kids tear off the wrapping so quickly, they never even notice that it says Lays Potato Chips on the inside!

Have you thought of ways to reduce your wrapping clutter?

Today’s Mini Mission

Declutter something that can be recycled or repurposed by someone else. (Newspapers, magazines, old sheets, old pillows, old towels, bicycle parts, pieces of timber or metal…)

Today’s Declutter Item

Bath Products

Eco Tip for the Day

Greening your workplace ~ If you use a printer in your workplace, only print what really needs printing and print double sided if you can.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Below are ten guidelines I follow to simplify my Christmas. They don’t guarantee a stress free Christmas but they sure do help. Neither do they eliminate outside pressures to conform to the rest of society but we can make changes to better suit our princles.  I hope you find them helpful as it is possible to have a very merry Christmas without all the expense, over indulgence, stress and clutter.

1. Get organised ahead of time. Whether you have big plans or small the more you have sorted ahead of time the smoother everything will run and the more relaxed you will be when the festivities begin.
2. Declutter ahead of time. For me, nowadays, this is easy. However if you have kids pass on the toys they no longer play with or are broken. If you are having visitors get rid of all the excess stuff out of the guest room. Have the kitchen decluttered so the cooking tools you need are all close at hand.  Clear away space wasting items in other areas of the home to make room for the festivities…
3. Keep decorating to a minimum and/or recruit helpers. A home can look festive without being over cluttered with decorations. It may even look more tasteful. There is no need to take on this task alone, get the whole family in on decking the halls. As they say, the more the merrier and what better way to prime the whole family for the holiday season.
4. Keep gift giving to a minimum ~ Don’t be overindulgent with children and consider convincing other friends and family memebers to reduce the gift giving. Both sides of my family do a secret Santa these days. When I suggested it they were only too keen to comply. It was as if they were waiting for someone to get the ball rolling on that idea.
5. Be prepared for guests ~ Whether they are staying overnight or just dropping in for a drink make preparations way ahead so that there is no last minute rushing about, tidying, cleaning, decluttering or shopping.
6. Minimise travel ~ In Australia where we celebrate a summer Christmas there is a lot of outdoor activity. Trips to the beach and road trips to visit family are the norm. Unfortunately rushing, alcohol, fatigue and traffic volumes can result in tragic accidents. Also travelling via other means is expensive at this time of year. For me any time is a good time to see family so I try not to travel too often at Christmas.
7. Don’t over cater ~ Peoples stomachs do not increase in capacity over the holiday season. It is possible to enjoy all those wonderful holiday treats without overindulging. Resisting the temptation to do so is aided by not oversupplying in the first place.
8. Don’t be a control freak and insist on doing everything yourself because you think this is the only way it will be done “right”.   If you are the only one who cares how the tree is decorated, the menu is set, the gifts are wrapped … then perhaps it really doesn’t matter. In fact perhaps someone else might really enjoy being involved in their own special way.
9. Don’t feel obliged to follow traditions you don’t necessarily enjoy. Christmas is a time to rejoice and be glad not suffer in silence letting everyone else have their way. With family consultation, begin new traditions that make you all happy, that fit with your simplicity goals. It is possible that everyone would be happy to make some changes and are waiting for someone to lead the way.
10. No matter what happens, as I am sure there will be some things you just can’t change, make the most of it and have a wonderful holiday season.

Today’s Mini Mission

Study my uncluttered gift giving guides here and here to help you find uncluttering gift for your loved ones and to make suggestion of uncluttering gifts for yourself should anyone ask.

Today’s Declutter Item

Yay there have been more baseball collectables relinquished.

More Baseball Collectables

Eco Tip for the Day

 Keep your motor vehicles well maintained not only so they last well but also so they run efficiently, and cause minimal emissions.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Mini Mission Monday is about finding ten minutes a day to declutter. To make it easy for you, each Monday I set seven declutter missions, one for each day of the week for you to follow. It takes the guess work out of decluttering and makes it easy and “fun” for you to achieve some quick decluttering.

This week at 365 Less Things we are launching a preemptive strike on the Christmas/holiday season. Time to do some pre-holiday decluttering and organising so when you break out those decorations, the guests arrive and the presents are opened, there is enough room to accommodate them. The more organised you are now the smoother the days will run when you are truly in the thick of it.

Monday -Start getting the guest room ready. Declutter any obvious excess stuff in there to make it comfortable for those coming to stay. Make arrangement to borrow extra bedding if necessary for any overflow.

Tuesday -Study my uncluttered gift giving guides here and here to help you find uncluttering gift for your loved ones and to make suggestion of uncluttering gifts for yourself should anyone ask.

Wednesday -Have the, perhaps dreaded, conversation with the grandparents about giving gifts of experiences or at least not so many material gifts to your children so your home isn’t overrun with toys.

Thursday -Declutter the kids toy area to make room for the inevitable influx of new fun things. Regardless of how much you manage to contain the influx you will still need room. Kid will be kids and it is there job to have fun.

Friday - If, like me, you are decluttering your craft supplies now is the time to make your holiday/Christmas cards if you haven’t done so already.

Saturday - Start having a “use it up” declutter of the freezer. Eat through all those double ups and half eaten packages so that there is plenty of space for the holiday food.

Sunday - Sunday is reserved for contemplating one particular item, of your choice that is proving difficult for you to declutter. Whether that be for sentimental reasons, practical reasons, because the task is laborious or simply unpleasant, or because the items removal requires the cooperation of another person. That last category may mean that the item belongs to someone else who has to give their approval, it could also mean there is a joint decision to be made or it could mean that the task of removing it requires assistance from someone else. There is no need to act on this contemplation immediately, it is more about formulating a plan to act upon or simply making a decision one way or another.

Good luck and happy decluttering

Today’s Declutter Item

Handmade (by me) Jewellery Piece

Eco Tip for the Day

Using electricity off-peak doesn’t save electricity but it can lessen the strain at peak times which can result in a reduced necessity to  increase infrastructure.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

Cindy

Please don’t call me Scrooge, but I hate decorating for Christmas. In fact, I hate decorating for all holidays. To me, it falls under the category “another darn thing I have to do.”

So last year, I decided it was time to change that.

I pulled everything out of the attic at one time. My hope was to get everything back into just the plastic bins and get rid of the boxes; that seemed like a reasonable level of reduction to me.

I started early in December, wanting to be sure that anything that went to the thrift store had time to be resold before the end of December arrived: I didn’t want my clutter to become their clutter too.

I got the family involved – very important when sentimental, seasonal, “that item means Christmas to me” things are involved – and we start opening boxes. One of my annoyances, as I’ve already said, is decorating the home – all the little seasonal do dads we’ve accumulated over the years. Most of those were the first to go. Turns out that no one cares very much about little Santas tucked away on the bookshelves or snowmen sitting on the coffee table.

When it was time to decorate the tree, I made this rule: we would all open the ornaments and put them on the tree as always. However, if we opened an ornament that we didn’t like, didn’t care about, thought was ugly, etc., we would put it on the sofa. Anyone else who saw an ornament that they liked or valued on the sofa could pick it up and put it on the tree – no questions, no anger - just pick it off the sofa and put it on the tree. There were a few squeals of outrage (“WHO put this on the sofa!!!??”) but everyone stayed calm when I repeated the rule: “No questions, no anger, just put it on the tree yourself.” We probably reduced our ornaments by about 2 dozen and also got rid of 4 or 5 strings of wooden “cranberry” beads.

It was a remarkably painless process that hugely reduced our supplies. Before, we had 10 boxes/bins, 2 tree stands, and 2 outdoor wreaths. After, we had 6 boxes/bins, 2 tree stands (the smaller of which I decluttered earlier this week), and 3 outdoor wreaths. (Yes, I gained a wreath, which I found at the thrift store. We all agreed that the upstairs balcony looked woefully undecorated, and this wreath was our solution.) My before and after photos are below.

If decorating for the holidays really doesn’t put you in a holiday mood, try my reduction techniques and see if that doens’t bring a smile to your face like it did mine.

The Before & After Pics

Today’s Mini Mission

 Declutter something you are only keeping because you feel obliged to because it was given to you by someone else.

Remember the November Keep it Tidy Challenge

Today’s Declutter Item

This nativity set took a while for me to decide to declutter for several reasons. It has sentimental value because my parents bought it for me. It is the most real Christmas symbol I own. And I like it because it is beautiful. The problem is though that it really doesn’t fit in this smaller home and will certainly not fit into one that is smaller. I took it to a garage sale I was involved in a few weeks ago and put a price tag of $50 on it. I figured if I must let it go I was at least going to get a good price for it. I set it up to look its best but feared that some overzealous garage sale shopper might accidentally break it. I was so glad when someone said they would like to buy it. I couldn’t get it packed up safe again quick enough. I actually knew the person who bought it and she was a secondhand dealer. I was amazed and very pleased that she didn’t haggle over the price and happily paid me the $50. I suppose it was just meant to be.

Nativity Set

Eco Tip for the Day

 Take care of the things you do own so that they may last and last and not have to be replaced prematurely.

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

Cindy

I’ve started stocking up for Christmas. I’m not entirely sure this is a good idea. In the past, when my children were younger, I’d sometimes see something six months before Christmas that I thought would make a good gift. By the time Christmas came ’round, I’d realized that my child was too old / too young / no longer interested in X, so now my gift needed to be re-gifted. (Do you call it re-gifting when it’s never even been gifted once?)

My caution about stocking up is compounded by my once good idea that went bad on me: Having a gift box full of a choice of generic gifts, purchased on sale, for my children to select from when they were invited to parties. The reason this idea went bad wasn’t because I made poor choices. It’s because I had about 10 gifts to choose from, and around 3rd or 4th grade, my children were no longer invited to every party for every child in their classes. Instead, they were only invited to a few select parties a year, meaning two things – 1.) that they’d prefer to pick out a special gift for the special friend and 2.) that they aged out of the gifts I’d stored up because they weren’t using the box so frequently.  (If you have children in preschool and early elementary and a couple of children of mixed ages, I still recommend the gift box; just cut off your buying in 2nd grade or so.)

Buying gifts too far in advance can lead to clutter, incovenience, and an excess of spending, all things we’d like to avoid. So why have I bravely started stocking up this year? Well, for one thing, my children are older and their interests and abilities aren’t changing on a monthly basis. For another, it’s October: Christmas isn’t really that far away. (If you shop at Wal-Mart or Costco, you might think it was next week!) In addition, I’ve decided that the positive aspects of buying in advance outweigh my fear of going wrong.

• Buying in advance allows for slow and careful purchasing. I can shop for the best price or possibly find my items used (for example, a book).
• I can purchase when there’s a sale.
• I will avoid panic shopping at the last minute, which is good for my mental health and prevents rash “grab anything for Aunt Myrtle” gifts: Gifts that are doomed from the beginning to become clutter at Aunt Myrtle’s house.
• I have time to weigh the value of a gift against the cost or other factors without having to make quick decisions.
• When we buy all our gifts at once or in a short time, it’s easy to toss one more or two or ten more last minute items or stocking stuffers into our cart without thinking, wasting money and creating clutter.

The most important task you have to make this successful is to keep a list of what you’ve purchased and ideas for things you might want to purchase (or make).  A list will keep you from getting carried away, will make you aware of how many gifts you’ve already purchased  and prevent you from skewing your gifts too heavily in one direction (like the year Clara got about 10 pair of earrings. By the end, she was less than completely thrilled). Remember that gift cards, tickets to events, or promises to special outings make wonderful clutter-free gifts. (Also, Colleen has a list of un-clutter gifts under “Guides” at the top of the page. These list are definitely worth exploring and considering.)

I’ve started stocking up for Christmas, have you?

Today’s Mini Mission

Take action on something that you want to declutter but aren’t sure how best to move it on. Maybe it’s time you investigated the possibilities.

Today’s Declutter Item

This book was just one small thing my daughter had left behind.

Eco Tip for the Day

Don’t use throw away cleaning wipes. They have them for cleaning wood, kitchen spills, television screens, make-up removal etc etc. You can do all these jobs with a little water and a microfibre cloth that can be washed and used over and over again.

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

Perhaps you’re rushing about, buying some last minute gifts and stretching your brain to figure out what to purchase. Beware! There are gift buying pitfalls that you should avoid. They’re the route to clutter for the recipient and likely a waste of money for you. Read before you buy!

Trap One: Here Comes Another One, Just Like the Other One

Susie enjoys her subscription to Better Homes and Gardens, so she’d surely enjoy a subscription to Good Housekeeping as well. Leslie has a life-figures drawing book that she really enjoys. Surely she’ll enjoy another book and maybe an additional set of pens to go with it. The girls enjoy their set of wooden “paper” dolls, so I’ll get them another set, as well – maybe two because Look! How cute!

We are so easily swayed by this idea that if one is good, two is better, and three is best of all. Really? How about one is enough, two is too many, and three is way too many? I have a piece of garden art made by two local women that I absolutely love. I can see how it would be tempting to get me another piece – it seems like an easy way to a successful gift. But I love my piece. I think another would dilute the pleasure I regularly get from looking at this piece.

This is an especially easy trap to fall into if someone is a “collector.” How easy it is to buy yet another shot glass, Hummel figurine, or character salt and pepper shaker? Does the recipient really love these items, or has everyone gotten so used to giving them as gifts that it’s just become the thing to do?

Think twice before you purchase duplicate items.

Pitfall Two: The Thematic Gift

A theme-related gift can be the biggest mistake of them all. A girlfriend of mine is an avid gardener, and her sister gave her what must have been one the ugliest lamps ever with a garden scene as the base to commemorate her love of the out-of-doors. The sister was so pleased and excited, and my friend was so horrified that she lied and said that, sadly, the cat had knocked it over and broken it rather than confess that she’d returned the lamp as quick as she could.

A love of dogs does not equal the desire for a dog figurine. An enjoyment of travel does not equal an enjoyment of a souvenir t-shirt, especially one commemorating someone else’s travel.

Be careful when you follow the path of a theme; it’s easy to lose your way.

Pitfall Three: She loved it when she saw it at Franny’s house!

I love having fancy coffee drinks made by my friend Steve. But if Steve bought me a snazzy coffee maker like he has, I wouldn’t enjoy it nearly as much as I do the once-a-month coffee he makes for me. In fact, it’s the companionship of him making coffee for me that makes the coffee twice as good. Clearly, I couldn’t duplicate the experience at my house, yet how easy would it be to buy me this gift?

I think parents especially have a hard time avoiding this trap. I know I fell into it many times. Precious so loves playing with the fancy wooden dollhouse at the doctor’s office, that we buy her one for home. She loves the 10,000 Legos her friend has or the mini-trampoline, and we buy, buy, buy. But these toys are not nearly so enjoyed once they get to our house. Anyone else seen this movie?

It took me a long time to learn that it’s okay, even desirable, for there to be something you enjoy and not own it. That’s not part of our US culture, which tells us that if we like something, we should own it. But, really, it’s OK.

So, still have shopping to do? I may have just made your shopping trip more complicated, but I hope I’ve made your decision-making process a more successful one as well.

Today’s Declutter Item

These cards were all handmade samples from a card swap I used to participate in at one of the craft stores I worked in in America. They kept getting passed over in preference for other more suitable cards. I finally decided that they were never going to get used so I packaged them up and sent them off to the thrift store.

Craft Clutter Be Gone

Something I Am Grateful For Today

Jamie Oliver’s ~ My Favourite Curry Sauce.  C’est très bon.

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow