Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

When Colleen wrote Have Storage Will Clutter, I assumed it would be about storage units, which exist all over the US, some row after row of garages, and others (literally) high rise buildings with full heating and air conditioning services. Some people’s junk in the US lives better than many citizens.

Recently I was  at a class with my eldest daughter and was telling one of the fathers about the blog. He immediately told me that his chore for that day was cleaning out the garage. The coach then approached and asked if we were talking about cleaning out a storage unit. The man said, “No, but we have one of those that needs to be emptied too.” Then the coach shared that she has three storage units. She is going on a trip to Europe soon and noted that the units cost about a European trip per year. She claimed that she intends to clean out one unit when she returns (although I have to say, her commitment to this seemed very half baked, like one of those things that you just get used to saying like “I’m going to start exercising”). I challenged her to empty all three units. Bizarrely, she then said, “Oh no, I’m a minimalist” but had to return to coaching before I could find out how in the world having three storage units and being a minimalist could possibly be related. (Ok, truthfully, I was too busy trying not to snort loudly and rudely to find out more.)

I asked the father why he had a storage unit. He said that they intend to turn half of their garage into an exercise room. In order to work toward this goal, they’d cleaned out part of the garage and put it in storage. At least some of the stuff in the storage unit are items that will be in the exercise room. He told me that the unit was about a cheap as they come at $110 per month (about the same AUD, 81 Euro) and that he’d spent over $1000 (741 Euro) on the unit so far. One thousand dollars and no exercise room yet. The gym closest to my house is $70 a month for a family membership. They could have been working out for the past 14 months for the money that’s gone into this storage unit.

The last example of Have Storage, Will Clutter is a couple I know. Their adult children live in Texas. The parents thought that they would move from California, more than 1000 miles away, to Texas. When one of the children got a long-term overseas assignment, the parents packed up their belongings, sold their condominium, and move into their son’s house. Because the son’s house was fully furnished, they kept some of their personal items, and the rest of their belongings went into storage. This makes sense to me. Having their items in storage was cheaper than continuing to pay for a whole condominium for them, and they knew that their living arrangements were temporary. Eighteen months later, their son returned, and the parents moved back to California, leaving their stored items behind. For a while it was unclear what would happen next, but now more than five years have passed. The parents definitely aren’t moving to Texas, and their belongings are still here, still in storage. They don’t seem to have any intention of repossessing their items, which include furniture, clothing, household items, and collectibles, nor do they seem to have any intention of paying to have these items moved to California. Every year when they visit Austin for two or three days, they visit the storage unit – presumably to get something out of it, but I really don’t know. (Maybe to put something in!!) If the average unit is $100 a month, five years of storage comes to $6600 (4890 Euros). In the meantime, they’ve purchased replacement furniture and electronics for their home in California. My estimate is that this folly has cost them at least $10,000. I don’t really know what to say about this story. It truly mystifies me, but I do know that if storage units weren’t so convenient, something else would have been done with these belongings, rather than just having them sit in climate-controlled comfort year after year.

If you have a storage unit, my first advice to you is to leave the house alone and declutter the storage. You’re throwing money away when what you need to do is make some hard choices and probably many easy choices and live within the space you have available to you. All those “valuable” items you may find hard to part with because “they cost good money” are getting more and more costly each day that you pay to store them. Have storage, will clutter, indeed!

Today’s Declutter Item

I bought this carry file about 15 years ago when working as a teacher’s aide in my children’s first school. That was seven schools ago and it has hardly been used for its intended purpose since. I think it is well past time I let it go.

I

File Folder Bag

Something I Am Grateful For Today

I had a wonderful day today giving a friend a belated birthday treat. We had a coffee, went to the Hunter Valley Gardens (first time for both of us) and had our favour Tom Yum soup for lunch. Everything was perfect including the weather. See photos below.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

I received a comment from Willow on Saturday 20 August that inspired this post. I don’t hear from Willow a whole lot through the Summer months in the USA because she is always away somewhere living life. Camping, exploring, visiting family and friends and generally enjoying new experiences.

Willow is teacher and her husband is a professor so naturally their vacations coincide with school vacation times. This gives them a nice long Summer to do lots of exciting things. Needless to say that instead of owning a large home full of expensive stuff they have opted instead for a small uncluttered cottage and to get out and enjoy the world and people around them.

To me this is the way to live life. Not surrounded with relics of the past and hopes for a future that never seems to materialise. Buying unnecessary stuff that is a consolation prise compared to real experiences only limits your ability to afford true happiness. Sure put aside a nest egg for a rainy day but live life. When you do this there is no need to bring home and hoard momentos of the experience. Momentos just fill space and focus your thoughts in the past (and require dusting). Live for today, plan a little for the future and revel occasionally in the memories tucked safely away in your own mind. But most of all be in the here-and-now living life to the fullest.

Below is the response I received from Willow when I sent her draft copy of the above post..

I think your post states clearly how John and I view our choices.  Years ago, we sat down and wrote out our 5 year, 10 year and life goals.  Separately, we chose almost all experiences and not stuff!  What we value the most is our family and friends and time spent with them so it was easy for us to choose a small place to live and focus on what we DO, not what we OWN.

Like everyone, some days I get bogged down in the stuff.  I still have so much, too much, and I don’t have the push to deal with it. Other people wouldn’t think of my house as cluttered, but it’s feeling that way to me right now.  All those little piles of books and papers that come with the teacher territory.  Sigh. However, all in all, the decluttering is always slowly progressing 🙂

“An empty house is a calm house is a focused house.”  When my home is uncluttered, it’s easier for me to concentrate on my teaching and prep and the people I care about.

Thank you Willow for your contributions to my blog that have been coming since Day 133 that was only about two months into my blogging experience.

Today’s Declutter Item

There is not much to say about these shoes except that my husband has a certain standard of dress he has to uphold in his line of work and these shoes are getting a little shabby. I am sure someone at the thrift store will find them more than suitable and serviceable thought.

Old Work Shoes

Something I Am Grateful For Today

Every now and again, no actually quite often, one of my readers will write a simple sentence in a comment that really makes me look at life and go… YES! That is the way life should be ~ or ~ I hadn’t though of that situation that way before ~ or ~ Thank you for expanding on what I was thinking ~ or ~ That’s just the validation I needed. So thank you my wonderful commenters for your input and inspiration even when you didn’t even realise you were saying something that really mattered.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

As promised on Tuesday I have another wonderful interview to share with you today. Once again Ideealistin has put together a great interview, this time with Dave Bruno of The 100 Thing Challenge.

You might remember back on January 13th my post consisted of a review of Dave’s book The 100 Thing Challenge and how my skepticism changed to enlightenment once I had read the book. Before this I had only seen snippets from other bloggers about this concept and I thought it was just a fad that would be expensive to retract when the novelty wore of for some of the over eager participants who plunged into the deep end at the drop of a hat. I dare say this was the case for some but as it turned out Dave’s Challenge went a little deeper than that and was only applied to his share of personal items in the household to which he was a merely one member.

Although I do not aspire to ever attempt the 100 Thing Challenge I found that what Dave aspired to and achieved was not all that different and carries much the same lessons as my own challenge has done for me.

The Interview

Dave, you decided to cut back on consuming after realising it’s not moving you closer to contentment but rather is a rat race. Was the cutting back an idea that formed slowly or did you have some kind of epiphany?

Dave Bruno: It definitely formed over time. For many years, I had wanted to live more simply than I actually did. So the idea of simplifying was there. But the decision to do the 100 Thing Challenge was a bit of an epiphany. It was a plan I thought up in one night and jumped right into.

Why did you have to do it in a challenge? Did you need a big bang? A starting point? A definite goal? A guideline? A name for it?

Dave Bruno: I cannot answer this question well. The idea just came to me. You have to understand, at the time I decided to do this, I only had maybe 50 people reading my website. This 100 Thing Challenge idea was personal. My way of resisting consumerism. I had no thoughts whatsoever that anyone would think it was interesting. It never ceases to amaze me that hundreds of thousands, even millions, of people around the world have heard of the 100 Thing Challenge and are fascinated by it. While I cannot quite comprehend that, perhaps the response to the 100 Thing Challenge is the most interesting thing about it. Consumerism, it seems, is very much on the minds of many people around the world.

Minimalism, abstinence, vegetarianism – do you have an explanation why we love to label our lifestyle choices so much (just as we like to have labels on things apparently …) and  whether this is a good or a bad thing?

Dave Bruno: This is an important question. Humans are purposeful. We long to do actions that are meaningful. We are unique among the creation in this manner. There are no other creatures that even come close to humans with regards to our longing for purpose. Why does a person practice abstinence? Simply so that she does not have sex? No. She has a reason behind it. Perhaps a health reason or a moral reason. She’s intentional. But I am troubled by some people who practice minimalism. For some minimalists, there is no purpose. Having few possessions is the end. Usually people who feel this way then use their minimalism for self-indulgence. They are unattached to possessions and so feel free to do whatever they want. Their purpose is themselves. I think that is a damaging philosophy.

My own view is that consumerism has replaced the human desire to accomplish meaningful things with an impulse to buy things. Thus, I am advocating simple living as a way to remember who we are. It’s not that we are meant to only have 100 things. It’s that we are meant to do meaningful actions. When we fill our lives up with possessions, we forget who we are. So minimalism is a way to see ourselves for who we are. But it is not an end. It is a path to living a more purposeful, less selfish, life.

100 was just a number you picked randomly (probably because it sounded good?) – where you aware that so many people would follow you, try to beat you or discuss, whether 100 was a good or a bad number?

Dave Bruno: Again, I didn’t think about what others would say. I didn’t want to be a hermit, so I didn’t pick 50. And 150 would have been too easy. So 100 seemed like the right number. I suppose, looking back, it is a good number to have picked. People like a nice round number.

The experiment wasn’t necessarily about balance but about exploring what’s possible in terms of doing without. What is harder,to reach and endure the extreme or to live and define the ever changing balance?

Dave Bruno: Here in America we live in a consumer culture. It is very easy to get stuff. It is hard to get rid of stuff. So it was difficult to purge my possessions. Once they were gone, though, it was relatively easy to live with less. That’s the big secret of the 100 Thing Challenge: It wasn’t that hard.

What was the best you got out of the experiment? What was bad? and what was probably totally unexpected?

Dave Bruno: There are two bests. First, living with less does produce freedom. It has allowed me more time and energy to pursue meaningful activities. That’s wonderful!

Perhaps the bad and the unexpected are the same. I’ve become more aware than ever how much consumerism has damaged many lives and the world. In our times, the relentless pursuit of stuff has destroyed families, who divorce and fight because of stuff! It has squandered tallent, as young professionals use their skills to make and sell stuff. And of course it has damaged the earth. When we’re busy buying our next toy, we don’t see these tragedies. When we slow down and become aware, there is some grief we must grieve.

Is there anything you thought you could do without and found out you couldn’t? And if yes, was it a problem for you to go one step back because it was hard to replace something or  hard to admit defeat?

Dave Bruno: I don’t have a hard time admitting defeat. Who hasn’t been wrong? And will I not be wrong again some day? Best to admit it and move on.

Anyway, I did replace my guitar after the challenge was over. I simply missed it. I’m not a musician, so it wasn’t horrible to live without a guitar for a year. But after the year was over, I decided I wanted music back in my life.

Also, I would like a new pair of shoes.

* * * * * * *

Once again I have to say what a great interview. Ideealistin asked some questions of Dave that, since reading the book, I really wanted answers to. I was particularly taken with this response from Dave ~ For some minimalists, there is no purpose. Having few possessions is the end. Usually people who feel this way then use their minimalism for self-indulgence. They are unattached to possessions and so feel free to do whatever they want. Their purpose is themselves. I think that is a damaging philosophy. ~ It is something I have suspected from the moment that I discovered this movement called minimalism. I dare say that although the majority genuinely care for the environment and quality of life for themselves and others there will alway be the few who see it as a way to be lazy, uncommitted and totally carefree. Although those traits my sound tempting to a degree there is usually a point where they can be taken too far and the participant just becomes a burden on society.

My deepest thanks go out to Ideealistin for the opportunity to post this interview on my blog and many thanks to Dave Bruno for allowing her to share his words with me.

Today’s Declutter Item

In an attempt to declutter his pocket of bulk my husband has worked his way through a few brands of wallet/bill folds over some years. This is one of the rejects that will be handed on to the thrift store. Hopefully the one he is using now is perfect.

Hubby's Old Bill Fold

Something I Am Grateful For Today

I am extremely grateful that I have had the opportunity to travel in my life. Whether overseas of within my own country it is a pleasure and a privilege to be able to see new places, meet new people and learn a little more about this wonderful planet on which we live.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

Do you feel rich in your possessions or poor? Feeling poor makes it difficult to get rid of things that are no longer needed, wanted or valued. It induces hoarding and the suspicion that you really might need that someday.

Might you really?

Feeling rich in your possessions allows you to let things go. It allows you to feel sure that there’s no lack of items in the world, and there’s certainly not, at least not in the world of anyone who’s reading this blog. Certainly our fortunes may change, but it’s unlikely that anything you may declutter today would mean the difference between salvation and poverty in the future.

My husband told a joke about engineers who like to tinker. The punchline is that none of them ever uses the stuff they collect, and when they get rid of it, they pass it to another engineer to store in their garage.

He went on to tell me what I already believe: That there are few items so unique and so precious that they cannot be replaced if you find you really cannot live without them. While that exact item may be difficult to find, something very similar will surely be available, perhaps at the thrift store, perhaps on Ebay, perhaps in your friend’s garage.

I’m sure most of you read my post commemorating my 365th day of decluttering. I said that the only thing I regretted getting rid of was the cracking lid to a 13×9 metal pan. Amazingly enough, in the Lost and Found cleaned up, there was a perfect 13×9 pan with a lid. My friend Jennifer has one just like it, and she takes delicious mint brownies to all the school functions in it, so I called her to confirm it wasn’t hers. It wasn’t, and now it’s mine. All I needed was 1) to want something and 2) to wait. Everything you need is available to you, and you just have to wait for it to appear.

Jennifer’s Delicious Mint Brownies

Brownies

• 4 squares of unsweetened bakers chocolate
• 1 C butter
• 4 eggs, beaten
• 2 C sugar
• 1/2 t mint extract
• 1 C flour, sifted
• 1/4 t of salt

Melt the chocolate and butter in a double boiler. Cool and add remaining ingredients. Pour batter into a well greased 13×9 pan. Bake at 350 degrees F for 20-25 minutes. Let your brownies cool.

Frosting

• 2 T butter
• 2 C powdered sugar
• 2 T milk
• 1 t mint extract
• green food coloring (optional)

Cream the butter, gradually add the powdered sugar. Add the milk, mint and food coloring. Frost the brownies and refrigerate.

Glaze

• 2 square unsweetened baker’s chocolate
• 2 T butter

Melt chocolate and butter in a double boiler. Mix well and pour over frosting, spreading until the brownies are completely covered. Cool and store in the refrigerator until ready to serve.

(For my diabetic friends, I figured these have 775 carbohydrates for the entire pan.)

Today’s Declutter Item

I used to use this file/book all of the time but in reality it is another one of those poor designs that are inflicted on the unsuspecting public. It has a pocket for each month in which you place birthday cards etc for upcoming occasions in order to be ready in advance. The problem is that the spine of the book isn’t large enough to allow for the expansion of the book when the cards are in place. As a result up until about October this file/book is a very awkward shape. After doing a little reshuffling and repurposing I have found a new home for my stock of pre-made handmade greeting cards so this can go to the thrift shop.

Greeting Card File

Something I Am Grateful For Today

Oddly enough I am grateful for the rare but interesting readers comments that have a vehemently opposing opinion to mine. After the initial shock of the passionate attack, for want of a better word, on what I wrote and in some circumstances on my character as well, I find it an interesting challenge to 1. Not be offended and 2. Use it as an exercise in character building.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Cindy’s Weekly Wisdom

I hate to be a cynic, but I think I might be becoming one when it come to this oxymoron* ~ Useful gifts. More specifically, useful generic gifts. My mother gave me a drip irrigation system for Christmas. Let me tell you, that’s a useful gift, and I am so appreciative. (Thanks Mom!) But what about these “useful” gifts that have recently come into my home:

• water bottles and bandannas from a child’s birthday party.
• water bottles as a “finisher’s prize” for a book reading contest
• water bottles given to the kids when they went to camp for a day
• bandannas as a party favor at an adult party
• cheap backpacks given as a promotion for Lemonaid Day (a fundraising event for kids)
• expensive backpack given to my daughter when she was in the hospital
• expensive backpacks given to my husband annually when he attends a conference
• tote bags given at conferences and as promotions in stores
• soap, lotions and other toiletries
• and let’s not forget T-shirts for registering or participating in nearly any event

Sure, on their own, each one of these items can be useful. I’m not going to argue with that. A water bottle, a bandanna, a back pack, a tote bag, a t-shirt – all these items can be useful. But I went from having a just-right number of water bottles to having an explosion of them. My kids have backpacks, and each one lasts for two school years. I’ve already decluttered a half dozen bandannas; now I have more. As for t-shirts, let me just say that when I started decluttering, my husband had 100.

What’s a declutterer to do? First off, I try to leave these things behind when they are offered to me. Yes, you might have to step out of your comfort zone to say “no thanks” rather than just accepting what’s handed to you. This helps with clutter, but unfortunately, there is still the larger environmental impact of that item’s existence. We don’t need these things (or even want them), and the fact that they exist means that the raw materials have been gathered, and they have been manufactured, transported, etc. – a waste of perfectly good energy.

To make my small impact on these larger issues, I have resisted gifts more and more. (As Colleen once wrote, Don’t the very words “stocking stuffer” = “unnecessary item”.) If it’s not truly a want or need of someone in the family, we don’t buy it. We make gifts. I shop at the thrift stores, Craiglist, and Ebay first; local stores next; the mall last. This year I vowed to give no material gifts to my children’s friends. For my own friends, with whom I rarely exchange gifts anyway, I give something very practical, like a homemade frozen meal. (Way more appreciated at Christmas time than more candy or a Santa trinket, I guarantee you!) If there’s nothing I really want, I ask for a gift certificate to my favorite online store, Amazon.com, where I can buy practically anything when the need does arise.

When did “I love you and value your friendship” start to equal “so I’ll give you some cheap crap to show it”? Or “I’m so grateful that you came to my conference that I’ll load you up on items you can’t possibly use” become a standard business practice? Only by becoming conscious of choices in all areas of our lives can we start to change and to change the people around us. I know I’ve had an influence on my friends and on you, our readers, and I know you have too. Let’s be like water on a pond sending ripples of wisdom outward instead of thoughtless consumers of more, more, and more.

*For those of you who are not native English speakers, an oxymoron is a figure of speech where two apparently opposite ideas are paired.

Today’s Declutter Item

I have looked forward to this day from the very beginning of my declutter mission and it has finally arrived. This is the hutch section of an entertainment unit that is no longer suitable to fit the TV into. It is big and dark and bulky and held a lot of stuff I never really used or loved. By slowly decluttering spaces in the bottom section of this unit, in the kitchen cupboards and the bookcase it is finally empty and a man named Brian will be recycling it to create other pieces of furniture. It was picked up today by Brian and his brother Bob and I am glad to see it go.

Display Cabinet

My Gratitude List

• Something that made me laugh ~ My husband poking fun at our daughter because her favourite baseball team lost again today. It is an ongoing love hate relationship between them during the baseball season, mostly love though of course.
• Something Awesome ~ Learning to say no when you really don’t want to do something.
• Something to be grateful for ~ The three people who picked up Freecycle items from me today.
• Something that made me happy ~ How light and airy my living room looks without the big display cabinet.
• Something I found fascinating ~ Watching the big storm front build up to the north today. It is now rumbling overhead. Weather is interesting and so different here than it was in Seattle.

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow

Key #4 Don’t reclutter while you declutter

Decluttering is a complete waste of time if there is as much stuff entering your house as there is going out. Limit your purchases to the things you really have put a lot of thought into whether you will get good use out of it or if it really suits your needs. Don’t wonder aimlessly through the stores looking for stuff you didn’t know you wanted. And try to convince your friends and family not to buy you gifts unless they are consumable in some way.- Fresh flowers, chocolates, beauty treatments and the like.

Item 360 of 365 less things

My mother-in-law probably will think I have gone too far now but as cute as this bear is Liam gave it to me to declutter. It was a nice thought at the time but he is all better now.

5 Reflections of gratitude from the most frightening time of this year

1. All the family and friends that kept in touch when Liam was hurt.
2. Modern medicine- Something we often take for granted but makes a big difference to a lot of lives.
3. All the health professionals who cared for Liam, aided and are still assisting in his full recovery.
4. All of the prayers and well wishes of my readers and their families, friends and church groups during that awful time.
5. Both my husband and I being able to give Liam our full attention during his entire recovery time – that is truly a privilege in this day and age. Planning for a rainy day really is a good idea.
   

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow.

In the spirit of giving at Christmas I have compiled a list of non cluttering gift ideas. This list can also be used throughout the year for birthdays and other gift giving occasions. I have cut and pasted a list I compiled back on Day 199 and added some more ideas. If you have any other great ideas to add to the list I will be happy to include them and then make a page out of it that we can refer back when ever we feel the need. So get those good idea to me via a comment I am looking forward to your contributions.

Edible Treats

• Chocolate/Candy
• Cake (provide a cake for someone’s happy occasion)
• Baskets of
  • Fruit (what could be more colorful or healthy than that)
  • Cookies
  • Groceries
  • Treats (candy, nuts, crackers etc)
• Bottle of wine / 6 pack of Boutique Beer…
• A home cooked meal is always a treat for a special occasion
• Home made treats like jam, cookies, pickles etc
• Take them out to dinner/lunch/ breakfast etc

Gift Certificate

• Dining Out – coffee shop, restaurants etc
• Hardware
• Groceries
• Spa Treatments
  • Manicure
  • Pedicure
  • Massage
  • Hair cut/colour
  • Facial
• Travel Vouchers
  • Flight
  • Bus
  • Train
  • Motel
  • Even just a local train or bus pass so they don’t have to pay for their commute for a week or so

Donations

• Give a donation to their/your favourite charity in the name of the gift recipient
• Donate your time to help out a charity on their behalf

Time

• Spend quality time together
• Do a favour that will save someone precious time
  • ironing sessions *
  • see also Automotive
  • house cleaning chores *
  • Child minding *
  • see also Garden below
• Recharge a prepaid cell phone for more communication time
• Instead of sending a gift make a visit to someone far away as their Christmas gift.

Garden

• Plants/cuttings/seedlings/flowers
• Doing some gardening for them
• Mowing their lawn *
• Prune bushes *
• Water the garden in dry weather or while they are away *

Automotive

• Wash and detail the car *
• Pay for a tank of gas or give them a gas gift card
• Pay for a car service *
• Take and pay for the cars next emissions test *

Friends

• Arrange a get together with a group of friends
• Bring two old friends together

Entertainment

• Buy tickets to a show/event/movie
• Take them out to a show/event/movie
• iPod downloads
• Video store gift certificate
• Theme park tickets or annual pass

Other

• Good old fashion cash
• Pay a bill for someone*
  • Electricity
  • Gas
  • phone
  • A weeks rent
• Flowers
• Gym membership
• A calendar (Most people use one and you get a whole years use out of it before it requires recycling)

Note:- For ideas with * beside them – If the time is not right immediately to follow through on this gift make up a voucher and give to to the person in a card. Make sure you follow throw when the time comes.

Sometimes the best thing we can do is to just be there for the special day.

Item 343 of 365 less things

A collector plate that my mum gave me when I was living in America. It was nice to see the Australian wild flowers on it when I was so far from home but now I only have to go outside. So I don’t need it any more and it has been sold on eBay

5 Things I am grateful for today

1. That I made the effort to go for a walk today- I have found far to many excuses not to bother walking lately and it is starting to show on my waste line. I think my frame of mind has been better today for making that effort and from getting some fresh air and sunshine.
   
2. A friend calling to have a coffee with me today – Between hospitals, medical appointments and family it has been hard to get away.
3. Libraries – I like being able to borrow books and magazines, it saves me money because I don’t have to buy them and I give them back when I am done so they don’t become clutter.
4. A smaller ironing pile – I am not sure what has changed in our home but the ironing pile seems to be much smaller these days. I think it was from Steve decluttering his wardrobe of a lot of collared shirts.
5. Leftovers – They are so convenient when you suddenly have to drop someone off somewhere when you should be cooking dinner.
   

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry f aster when I’m slow.

Cindy Bogard’s Weekly Post

There is a group of Canadian Mennonites who, along with AdBusters, promotes a Buy Nothing Christmas www.buynothingChristmas.org. While my family will not be having a Buy Nothing Christmas, we will be having a Buy Not A Lot Christmas. Each year, I’ve tried to cut back, usually with only moderate success. One memorable year, the kids got so overwhelmed by the number of gifts that we had to take a break from opening them. Good grief! Can you say “enough already!”

This year Christmas comes very close to my half-year of decluttering anniversary. Having looked so carefully at each and every one of the more than 1,200 things I’ve decluttered, I can say for sure that I have very little interest in purchasing.

The girls, too, have been decluttering with me every step of the way. They very much acknowledge that most of the gifts they’ve received have really not been as fun, interesting, or welcomed as anticipated. The amount of books, craft kits, and art supplies that have been shifted out of their rooms and into other homes is remarkable.

In addition to Christmas gift-giving, Clara’s birthday and her first diabetes diagnosis anniversary are the week before Christmas. While I try to look on her diagnosis day as “the day her life was saved” not “the day the wheels came off the bus,” there’s no denying that it has been earthshaking and deserves some sort of special acknowledgement.

So what will we be giving and getting this year?

Audra wants a kitten and, shhhhh, Santa is going to bring her one. Her other gifts will be cat-related items. However, in the true one-item-in, one-item-out tradition, one of the guinea pigs has found a new home at the girls’ school, and I’m trying to find a home for the other one. (Yahoo! This could be a two-for-one!)

Clara desperately wants her ears pierced. She will turn 11 in December, and she’s always been told that she could not get her ears pierced until she turned 13. As I said before, her birthday and diagnosis day are close together, and I figure that since she pokes herself to test her blood sugar at least 10 times a day, she can handle two more pokes.  I’ve invited her three closest friends and their mothers to meet us at the mall on the anniversary of her diabetes diagnosis, and we will all go to the earring store to watch her get her ears pierced. Then I’ll treat everyone to lunch. I think this will truly be a memory for a lifetime, just like Audra’s kitten. For Christmas, I’ll get her some earrings and let someone else get her the books and calligraphy set she’s asked for.

With my parents, we have a completely practical gift-giving strategy. Everyone is encouraged to say exactly what they’d like for Christmas, and if you describe its precise location in the store, that’s not going too far. (“Home Depot, aisle 14, bottom shelf, left hand side. It’s $34.99 on sale for the next week” is not too much detail.)

My husband’s family (four adults and one toddler) is a bit more of a wild card. I have finally realized that I can’t control them, I can only control myself. (It only took me a dozen years of trying to manage their gift giving for me to come to this fairly obvious conclusion.) All of us are blessed with plenty of income and the ability to buy everything we need and most things we want. What that means is that I will be informing them what sort of gifts we’ll be giving by sending an email that finalizes our visiting plans and states, “As in years past, the girls will be buying a gift for (the baby), and we will be making charitable donations for the adults.” (Hmm, I think that might need a little work, but you get the idea.) In return, I will ask for a donation to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (www.jdrf.org) or a gift certificate to my favorite store Amazon.com.  What they do with that information has to be up to them.

Will you be having a Buy Nothing Holiday?

Item 342 of 365 less things

A cable that we received free with one of those fancy schmancy calculators that the kids required in high school. The calculator was used but the cable never was.

5 Things I am grateful for today

1. Not only remembering to go to the supermarket on the way home from the airport but getting everything I went there for – I have been a bit of an airhead lately.
2. Steve remembering to get the lawn mowing man his Christmas carton of beer while he was at our house today.
3. An afternoon nap – I had a headache all day and needed some relief. Those new cushions came in really handy.
   
4. A great response to today’s (yesterday’s now) post – I had a amusing time reading about the odd things people have as clutter/precious possessions.
5. Lovely soft fresh bread
   

It matters not how fast I go, I hurry faster when I’m slow.

This post was inspired by an episode of CSI Las Vegas while the excerpt below is borrowed from Infed.org

To Have or To Be (1976) was Erich Fromm’s last major work. In it he argues that two ways of existence were competing for ‘the spirit of mankind’ – having and being. The having mode looks to things and material possessions and is based on aggression and greed. The being mode is rooted in love and is concerned with shared experience and productive activity. The dominance of the having mode (as he argued in The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness) was bringing the world to the edge of disaster (ecological, social and psychological). Erich Fromm argued that only a fundamental change in human character ‘from a preponderance of the having mode to a preponderance of the being mode of existence can save us from a psychological and economic catastrophe’ (1976: 165) and set out some ways forward.

In the light of the recent world financial crisis you have to think he wasn’t far off the mark with his prediction. All I can say is stop having and start being as it is a far better state to live in.

ITEM 325 OF 365 LESS THINGS

More sports memorabilia that has been hidden away in a box in the top of a wardrobe somewhere out of sight our of mind.

5 Things I am grateful for today

1. Hubby made the bed
2. Finding the giddy up to finally wash the car and do the ironing.
3. International food – My family love variety and so do I
4. Beautiful spring weather – I know I have mentioned this more than once but it us usually hot as Hades by now but it is just nice a I am loving it.
5. Liam is getting back into his old life – It’s as scary as hell for me but I have to be brave and trusting.
   

A friend and I were having one of our philosophical chats while walking a couple of weeks ago. At some point, the subject changed to the psychological benefits of my decluttering process.  Having known me before I started on this mission and being that we often discuss it she has noticed the changes it has had on me.

We discussed how my blog has added purpose to what seemed at first to be just a household chore. We talked about the side effects and lessons I have learned along the way. How I now receive so much satisfaction out of helping others with their clutter issues and that shopping no longer holds any appeal to me these days.

I have even had a positive impact on my friend, encouraging her to ease off on the spending and get her credit card debt under control.  We walk together often, which is good for our health and keeps us occupied as we all know how easy it is to get bored and restless when we have nothing worthwhile to do.

When this friend went home she happened to check out her meditation passage for the day and was surprised to find that it reflected the difference she felt she saw in me.  Here is that meditation passage for you to read and ponder…

To Believe

Having learned to transcend purely self-directed concern, fully alive people discover meaning” in their lives. This meaning is found in what Viktor Frankl calls “a specific vocation or mission in life.” It is a matter of commitment to a person or cause in which one can believe and to which one can be dedicated. This faith commitment shapes the lives of fully alive individuals making all of their efforts seem significant and worthwhile. Devotion to this life task raises them above the pettiness and paltriness that necessarily devour meaningless lives. When there is no such meaning in a human life, one is left almost entirely to the pursuit of sensations. One can only experiment, looking for new “kicks,” new ways to break the monotony and boredom of a stagnant life. A person without meaning usually gets lost in the forest of chemically induced delusions, the alcoholic fog, the prolonged orgy, the restless eagerness to scratch without even having an itch. Human nature abhors a vacuum. We must find a cause to believe in or spend the rest of our lives compensating ourselves for failure. From Fully Human, Fully Alive

I know that passage is a bit heavy but the message I took from it is this: If we have lost touch with all worthwhile focus in our lives, we will rely on external stimuli to give us the pleasure we require for happiness, such as shopping, drinking, gambling, drugs etc, to fill the emptiness. Decluttering has given me more purpose than I expected. Not only has it taught me I can be “more with less” but has rewarded me with the joy of helping others.

My friend also found this passage that she wanted me to share with you. It says a lot about the way we chose to live in the Western world….

You’ve never seen a people with as little time as Westerners. Yet we have kitchens filled with time – and work saving objects. Go to the poor Third World countries and ask, “Do you have a little time to talk?” “the rest of my life,.” they’ll say and sit down and share themselves with you for the afternoon.

We should have more time than anybody, but we don’t have any time at all. We’ve defined freedom falsely as an outer thing, in terms of time, space and options. Letting Go – The spirituality of subtraction.

ITEM 307 OF 365 LESS THINGS

The photo on the left shows the declutter item for today while on the right is the coffee plunger hybrid I made from the combined unbroken parts of the two pots. One pot had a broken glass carafe while the plunger had broken in the other. A lot of good the Bonjour brand pot with the unbreakable carafe was when its plunger only lasted a couple of months.

5 Things I am grateful for today

1. Finding time to do some decluttering and organising.
2. Giants won the world series – That is a bit of news Liam is really going to enjoy.
3. A nice night out last night with my old work friends.
4. Having a good laugh with Liam today even though I shouldn’t have been laughing because he was misbehaving but I couldn’t help myself. It is the first time he has smiled and laughed with us since the accident so I just let go and enjoyed it.
5. Making progress with decluttering the fridge and pantry.